When life hands you lemons, slash them with limes

All my stories are now archived at storiesimadeup (the masterlist for that can be found here), so you can find everything* there! But I haven't deleted the stuff originally posted here, so here's is a quick reference to all of my fic**:

( Supernatural Fic )

( Supernatural Coda Fics )

( CW RPS )

( Other )

( Original Fiction )

( Metaish )

* The exception to this is unfinished WiPs. They are all still here, but not over there.

**I am not always so great about keeping this super up-to-date, but my "stories i make up" tag covers all fic that I write.

HI INTERNETS! Long time and all that!

I have been frantically trying to get all the writing things with deadlines finished. Y'know, by the deadline. Yes, when I was in school I totally wrote all my papers the night before. Why do you ask?

( Writing things )

( And then SPN happened to my face! )

I really am feeling quite punchy and brain-fried right now. I think I need a nap.

How are y'all doing?

So I was checking out Brezsnyscopes for this week, and after I was done with mine, I decided to check out Sam and Dean's. As you do. Here's what Sam's says:

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

What is the "soul," anyway? Is it a ghostly blob of magic stuff within us that keeps us connected to the world of dreams and the divine realms? Is it an amorphous metaphor for the secret source of our spiritual power? Is it a myth that people entertain because they desperately want to believe there's more to them than just their physical bodies? Here's what I think: The soul is a perspective that pushes us to go deeper and see further and live wilder. It's what drives our imagination to flesh out our raw experience, transforming that chaotic stuff into rich storylines that animate our love of life. With the gently propulsive force of the soul, we probe beyond the surface level of things, working to find the hidden meaning and truer feeling. I'm bringing this up, Taurus, because it is Celebrate the Soul Week for you.

Dean is not amused, but Sam doesn't really get why.

And for balance, here's Dean's:

Aquarius (January 20-February 19)

The Sanskrit word buddhi refers to the part of us that adores the truth. It's good at distinguishing between what's real and what's false, and is passionately attracted to liberation. Although it may go into long periods of dormancy in some of us, buddhi never falls asleep completely. It's always ready to jump into action if we call on it. According to my reading of the astrological omens, Aquarius, the buddhi aspect of your psyche will be extra special big strong and bright in the coming week. In my opinion, that's better than winning the lottery.

It's like the universe is totally fucking with them. Crowley thinks it's hilarious.

First off, Coda - Notes: Usually my codas are gen, but this one is not so much. While it is not exactly Sam/Dean, it is Wincesty and R-rated. Also, the views of the POV character do not necessarily reflect the views of the writer. Okay, I think that's it.

Now, ( I have some thoughts on Sam )

Also, because I already uploaded it for dafnap, have a S3!Dean song. People keep telling me I'm no good, people keep telling me I'm no use/ I keep breathing in and breathing out, walking in a dead man's shoes.

Today is the five-year anniversary of the airing of SPN's pilot. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS? Clearly this is the reason I've been thinking about it all day (as opposed to me just being a nutjob fangirl). I intuited it, okay?

I just said this to estrella30 (as well as talking to Kassie about it this weekend) and I don't know that another fandom will ever live up to the standards set by SPN, especially in that first season.

I don't know that there's actually a way for me to talk about Show and what it (and fandom) means to me without sounding completely wacko. I love the show, I love the characters, I love the storytelling. From the very first I loved them (save for being pissed that Dean was now a Sam and Jason Teague was now Dean and it was all VERY CONFUSING. I got over that, obvs).

Aside from my very real love and emotional investment in the show, this fandom has been amazing in so many ways. I've made wonderful friends, both from my time in S1 and S2, as well as in this past year and a half. I'm so glad I came back. It's pretty safe to say that with all of the changes going on in my life right now, I would be kind of a mess if not for y'all. So thank you for that. ♥

And so, because I'm being crazy anyway, a letter!

Dear Show,

Wow, five years old! It seems like only yesterday that you were scaring the crap out of me for the first time and now look at you, all grown up (though no less pretty!).

Thank you for giving us your pretty, angsty boys and their matching issues baggage (the best part is when they cry!). Thank you for telling us your stories and poking fun at yourself, and being cool with us telling our stories. You are TOTALLY that parent that was all, "If you're going to drink, I'd rather you drink here so I know where you are" in high school. Thank you for bringing JDM into my life. Thank you for Misha and sucking me back in when I thought I'd quit fandom for good. Thank you for the J's and their epic bromance.

Thank you for Sam and Dean.

Thank you for the million and one things that are slipping my mind right now because all I can think is LOVE. Thank you for all of the people in my life because of your existence. I owe you more than words can convey for that one. Thank you for all the ups and downs and "OMG WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!? *SOBBITY*" (I'm looking at you, S1 cliffhanger).

Thank you for the roadside heart-to-hearts. Thank you for giving me a S6 to look forward to, because clearly my emotional stability rests on being able to watch my stories every week. I'm only half joking about that.

Thank you for the epic love story of Sam and Dean.

In short, show, ILU forever and I'm terribly glad you're in my life. Keep up the pretty work.

Loves and kisses forever and ever,
EJ

Yes, I am watching the pilot right now. Don't judge me.

I am tired, internets. I don't want to pack anymore!! I woke up at like 3 a.m. last night worrying about my to-do list. UNACCEPTABLE. Today I crossed off "worry about work bs" because I am done with it. The woman I'm training is far and away the most obnoxious, passive-aggressive, wanky, shit-stirring troll I've ever met IRL. Every time she talks to me, I think, "Bitch, please. I'm in fandom. I will not rise to your wank-bait."

She drives me up a wall, but I think I've reached a new level of Zen about it: What she doesn't learn in the time I have to teach her, she'll have to figure out on her own. Over-Developed Sense of Responsibility is trumped by Not My Fucking Problem Anymore.

In the meantime, I am focusing on my Happy Thoughts!

Things That Make Me Happy:

This Vid:



It is seriously one of my favorite vids ever! ♥ I actually downloaded the song and put it on my ipod this weekend, so I've been listening to it on my commute. This makes me happy because it makes me think of a) The first wincon, b) Sam's stupid* face and how much I love it, and c) How much Dean loves Sam's stupid face.

Which brings me to my next Happy Thing:

SAMANDDEANSAMANDDEANSAMANDDEAN!!! \o/ ♥

Ummmm, I've mentioned I'm doing a series rewatch, y? Funny story, when I came back to fandom, I was all, "Oh, I don't ship Sam/Dean anymore. Doop di doop." Who was I kidding? I've never shipped anything so hard as I ship Sam/Dean. Though, they do totally fit in with my previous ships in what appeals to me (Xena/Ares, Duncan/Methos, Clark/Lex).

It's not a love/hate thing, you see. It's more of a "Intense emotional bond and unrealistic expectations for each other that nobody can live up to and when the other person inevitably lets you down you want to walk away but who the fuck are you kidding? There's no way you can ever actually walk away from them, so where does that leave you?" sort of thing. (Guess when I stopped watching SV – ha!) Please note: this is not something I would look for in RL relationships, but in fiction it works for me hard.

Anyway, Sam and Dean push every single button I have wrt this dynamic. I can't quit them! They are my OTP to end all OTPs!

In that vein, if I could vid, I would totally make a Sam/Dean vid to Lifehouse's Sick Cycle Carousel**. More specifically, I would make a Sam POV vid that goes through Swan's Song about all the questionable choices he's made in his love for Dean (lots of clips of the various times Dean's died, Lucifer!Sam, Sam exorcising demons, etc). I have this whole ~*~vision~*~ of it in my head. SHARE MY VISION, INTERNETS! Lyrics under the cut for anyone who cares.

( If shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine )

Mostly I like the idea because I think fandom tends to forget that the crazy-intense soulmate erotic co-dependent love cuts both ways and that Sam is as effed up over Dean as Dean is over Sam. Hi, I could write you an essay on Sam's love for Dean! Go ahead, ask me my thoughts on yaoi!

This is what I think of to keep from thinking of all the things that are stressing me out. As a coping mechanism, it doesn't suck.

For my next procrastination post, I will be answering five things meme questions. Ask me things! I have a lot of procrastinating to do in the coming weeks!

* By "stupid" I mean "ridiculously adorable", of course.

** This is the other song that I downloaded this weekend that I can't stop listening to. It's just so AWESOME and PERFECT and THEM!! I am very easy to please sometimes.

Ahahaha!! I win!! Kassie wrote a coda!! Read hers first and then come back for mine. That would definitely be the order to read them in is all I'm saying (i.e. hers is better, mine is happier).

Arite, then! My coda, let me show you it!!!

( 5x22 Coda )

I know, I know. I'm late to the party.

When you see this message, post in your journal with your favorite Season 5 SPN quote.

Dean: They just don't get it, do they, Sammy?
Sam: No they don't, Dean.
Dean: You see, Brady, we're the ones you should be afraid of.

Me: UNF UNF!!!

Oh, hey! The time is nigh upon us. I AM VERY VERY EXCITED, YOU GUYS!!! The question is, will I be able to get to sleep afterward? Safe bet is on "no".

Here's what happens when I have no internet access at work and very little supervision for the day. I meta! Sort of.

( So, about the collective panty-bunch... )

ETA: Ahahahaa, right. So then I read what missyjack wrote, so I guess I could also just go with "What she said!"