When life hands you lemons, slash them with limes

I have never wanted to attend a con more. WHAT EVEN? I CAN'T- It is entirely possible my brain short-circuited at the thought. If there is any celebrity I would make an absolute idiot of myself in front of, he'd probably be it.

I'll be over here telling myself that it's best I don't have the means to attend. On the bright side, between this and him filming in Vancouver, there should be lots of fodder for some lovely non-AU RPF in the near future, AMIRITE? Finally the universe is heeding the call of NEEDS MOAR JDM!!!

In other news, I rewatched Faith today. I think if I had to pick a single episode out of the entire series as my favorite, that one would be it. I loved it when it originally aired, and I love it now in the context of the later seasons. There's so much there wrt who Sam and Dean are on a fundamental level, you can see the groundwork for their character development in S4 and S5 especially. There's NOTHING I don't love about that episode.

Possibly one of my favorite things ever is Sam's "Watch me" in response to Dean's "But I’m gonna die. And you can’t stop it." Sam: ORLY? FUCK DEATH! I'M SAM WINCHESTER!! Seriously, it is so quintessentially Sam, stubborn and willing to do WHATEVER it takes to save Dean. And Dean's willingness to (be the first to) die, and all his interactions with Layla, and Sam's snapping back to the straight and narrow once Dean is okay, insisting that they can't kill people. *dreamy sigh*

On top of that, all the themes of faith and salvation and this exchange with Roy:

DEAN: Why? Why me? Out of all the sick people, why save me?

ROY: Well, like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart, and you just stood out from all the rest.

DEAN: What did you see in my heart?

ROY: A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn’t finished.

*dreamy sigh* So freaking brilliant from beginning to end. I think that was possibly the episode that secured my undying love. It was one of the first episodes I felt compelled to write a coda for. SO MUCH LOVE!!!

*ahem* ANYWHO! Don't mind me, I'll just be over here fangirling all the things.

Okay, so I just finished watching Show (BOO PST FOREVER!!!!) and I just have a few thoughts at the moment. ( Thoughts )

IDK what it is about this week, but it's kind of draining me of my ability to think and process things in a reasonable manner. If I make it through tomorrow without punching one of my coworkers in the throat, that'll be awesome. I AM BRAINDEAD AND CRANKYPANTS.

It might be the ridiculous heat that's happening right now. The Fucking Weather says ITS FUCKING HOT AND THUNDERING. Both of these things are true. BLAHHHHHHHHHH

I was listening to my S5 playlist today and thinking about how much the songs that make me think "SPN" are filtered through Dean's POV. But, then, I think that's true for the show in general (not that it's about Dean, but that it is more from his perspective, um, if that makes sense?). IDK, it makes sense to me, but I have not the brainpower to articulate it at the moment.

There was a point somewhere in there, I think. Maybe someday I'll find it. Umm, what do you guys think of playlists/fanmixes/etc. If I threw mine up on the internets, would y'all be interested (read: Is it worth me trying to cajole someone into doing album art or whatever)?

I am totally going to bed at 9:00! Tomorrow is Friday! I thought it would never come.

Tired like a tired thing. So what I decided to do was write fic. It made sense at the time.

Title: In These Losing Fights
Genre: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: For 5x04
Notes: In the same universe as this story, though you don't have to read that for this to make sense.
Summary: Dean's goodbye to Sam is meant to be final and without regret.

( In These Losing Fights )

Here's the drabble I did at work today:

The day Castiel meets Dean, he feels doubt for the first time. It's Dean's despair at the thought that God might actually exist that cuts through him. For most people, it is comfort. For Dean, it throws everything he knows into question, that God would let people suffer so, that God would want Dean out of hell.

His doubt triggers Castiel's, sharp and unexpected.

But it's not Dean's doubt that breaks him. After that, he fortified himself against it. It is the moment he realizes Dean trusted him. Castiel never had any hope of defending himself against Dean Winchester's faith.

***

Which led to my musings about why I want to, but can't quite hop fully onboard the Dean/Castiel ship. (Which is not to say I'm opposed to it. I fully acknowledge that these are my own issues and I'm certainly not trying to derail anyone else's enjoyment of the ship. Cool?) ( Cut for my rambling reservations and general character thoughts. This is as close to meta as I get... )

So, today at work we were talking about Sam and Dean, as you do.

( Sam and Dean tend to handle things in a slightly different manner, I think )

This thought amused me for a good three hours, anyway. Some days that is all you can ask for.