SPN Coda: 5x03
Sep. 23rd, 2009 11:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
errant_janeAhahahaha!! Okay, I should not write when I'm this stupid tired. OH WELL!! HAZ A CODA!
Free to Be You and Me Coda
***
If there is one thing in life that Sam should know, it is the one thing that always seems to catch him off guard. If there's one lesson life's taught him, it's this – it can always get worse.
So many times he's thought he hit bottom only to find that he's actually on the edge of another precipice. And it keeps spinning down, down, down.
Mom, Jess, Dad, Dean.
Dean and the Trickster.
Dean and Ruby.
Dean and the end of the world.
And it's only now that the abyss has actually opened up underneath him. Everything else was simply preparation. Stripping him of every aspect of himself, every connection he has to the world.
The hunters know now that he started the Apocalypse and they'll be coming for him. Soon, if not already, it won't be safe for Bobby to take his calls.
He started the Apocalypse and Dean wants nothing to do with him. Can't let him interfere with what Dean has to do, because despite Sam's prayers, it's Dean who ended up on the side of the angels.
Was there ever a choice? Had he ever stood a chance? He started the Apocalypse because it had to be him. Because he is Lucifer's vessel. It always had to be him.
It is true that he has to say yes. But even now he knows as well as Lucifer that it's only a technicality. There is nothing left for him, nowhere to turn, no sanctuary to seek. There is no escape.
Not even in death.
Sam has been running all of his life and he's reached the end of his tether. What do you do when Fate finally catches up with you?
He walks over to the sink, fills the cup beside it with water and drinks. Actions, mechanical and familiar. Eat, drink, sleep, work. Things to fill up his time while he waits. His immediate future, he cannot think beyond that.
There are a few sheets of stationary on the bedside table. He sits down and picks up his pen. Now, while he still remembers what hope was.
Dear Dean,
Free to Be You and Me Coda
***
If there is one thing in life that Sam should know, it is the one thing that always seems to catch him off guard. If there's one lesson life's taught him, it's this – it can always get worse.
So many times he's thought he hit bottom only to find that he's actually on the edge of another precipice. And it keeps spinning down, down, down.
Mom, Jess, Dad, Dean.
Dean and the Trickster.
Dean and Ruby.
Dean and the end of the world.
And it's only now that the abyss has actually opened up underneath him. Everything else was simply preparation. Stripping him of every aspect of himself, every connection he has to the world.
The hunters know now that he started the Apocalypse and they'll be coming for him. Soon, if not already, it won't be safe for Bobby to take his calls.
He started the Apocalypse and Dean wants nothing to do with him. Can't let him interfere with what Dean has to do, because despite Sam's prayers, it's Dean who ended up on the side of the angels.
Was there ever a choice? Had he ever stood a chance? He started the Apocalypse because it had to be him. Because he is Lucifer's vessel. It always had to be him.
It is true that he has to say yes. But even now he knows as well as Lucifer that it's only a technicality. There is nothing left for him, nowhere to turn, no sanctuary to seek. There is no escape.
Not even in death.
Sam has been running all of his life and he's reached the end of his tether. What do you do when Fate finally catches up with you?
He walks over to the sink, fills the cup beside it with water and drinks. Actions, mechanical and familiar. Eat, drink, sleep, work. Things to fill up his time while he waits. His immediate future, he cannot think beyond that.
There are a few sheets of stationary on the bedside table. He sits down and picks up his pen. Now, while he still remembers what hope was.
Dear Dean,
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Date: 2009-09-27 04:03 pm (UTC)XOXO!!!