SPN Coda: 5x03
Sep. 23rd, 2009 11:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
errant_janeAhahahaha!! Okay, I should not write when I'm this stupid tired. OH WELL!! HAZ A CODA!
Free to Be You and Me Coda
***
If there is one thing in life that Sam should know, it is the one thing that always seems to catch him off guard. If there's one lesson life's taught him, it's this – it can always get worse.
So many times he's thought he hit bottom only to find that he's actually on the edge of another precipice. And it keeps spinning down, down, down.
Mom, Jess, Dad, Dean.
Dean and the Trickster.
Dean and Ruby.
Dean and the end of the world.
And it's only now that the abyss has actually opened up underneath him. Everything else was simply preparation. Stripping him of every aspect of himself, every connection he has to the world.
The hunters know now that he started the Apocalypse and they'll be coming for him. Soon, if not already, it won't be safe for Bobby to take his calls.
He started the Apocalypse and Dean wants nothing to do with him. Can't let him interfere with what Dean has to do, because despite Sam's prayers, it's Dean who ended up on the side of the angels.
Was there ever a choice? Had he ever stood a chance? He started the Apocalypse because it had to be him. Because he is Lucifer's vessel. It always had to be him.
It is true that he has to say yes. But even now he knows as well as Lucifer that it's only a technicality. There is nothing left for him, nowhere to turn, no sanctuary to seek. There is no escape.
Not even in death.
Sam has been running all of his life and he's reached the end of his tether. What do you do when Fate finally catches up with you?
He walks over to the sink, fills the cup beside it with water and drinks. Actions, mechanical and familiar. Eat, drink, sleep, work. Things to fill up his time while he waits. His immediate future, he cannot think beyond that.
There are a few sheets of stationary on the bedside table. He sits down and picks up his pen. Now, while he still remembers what hope was.
Dear Dean,
Free to Be You and Me Coda
***
If there is one thing in life that Sam should know, it is the one thing that always seems to catch him off guard. If there's one lesson life's taught him, it's this – it can always get worse.
So many times he's thought he hit bottom only to find that he's actually on the edge of another precipice. And it keeps spinning down, down, down.
Mom, Jess, Dad, Dean.
Dean and the Trickster.
Dean and Ruby.
Dean and the end of the world.
And it's only now that the abyss has actually opened up underneath him. Everything else was simply preparation. Stripping him of every aspect of himself, every connection he has to the world.
The hunters know now that he started the Apocalypse and they'll be coming for him. Soon, if not already, it won't be safe for Bobby to take his calls.
He started the Apocalypse and Dean wants nothing to do with him. Can't let him interfere with what Dean has to do, because despite Sam's prayers, it's Dean who ended up on the side of the angels.
Was there ever a choice? Had he ever stood a chance? He started the Apocalypse because it had to be him. Because he is Lucifer's vessel. It always had to be him.
It is true that he has to say yes. But even now he knows as well as Lucifer that it's only a technicality. There is nothing left for him, nowhere to turn, no sanctuary to seek. There is no escape.
Not even in death.
Sam has been running all of his life and he's reached the end of his tether. What do you do when Fate finally catches up with you?
He walks over to the sink, fills the cup beside it with water and drinks. Actions, mechanical and familiar. Eat, drink, sleep, work. Things to fill up his time while he waits. His immediate future, he cannot think beyond that.
There are a few sheets of stationary on the bedside table. He sits down and picks up his pen. Now, while he still remembers what hope was.
Dear Dean,
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-25 04:46 am (UTC)This bit: because despite Sam's prayers, it's Dean who ended up on the side of the angels. That right there? Is what makes the whole thing so absolutely GUTTING. God. Saaaaaaaaaaaaaam.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-26 09:44 pm (UTC)Is what makes the whole thing so absolutely GUTTING. God. Saaaaaaaaaaaaaam.
INORITE!?! Honestly, this show makes me completely ridiculous because I just feel for Sam so much!!! His desperate desire to do the right thing and in the end he is just so helpless in the face of all the cosmic shit working against him. Poor Brave Little Toaster Sammy!!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-25 05:05 am (UTC)*pouts* Great, I'm all depressed and still have to finish homework/study for a quiz. :P
(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-26 10:00 pm (UTC)He's seriously considering making himself some Kraft Mac & Cheese when he's suddenly transformed into a chinchilla, effectively cutting him off from even the simple comfort of powdered processed cheesefoods.
Sam sighs. FML, indeed, he thinks.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-27 01:32 am (UTC)I <3 U
(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-27 04:03 pm (UTC)XOXO!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-25 05:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-26 10:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-25 05:45 am (UTC)That sound is MY SOUL CRACKING IN HALF. So so perfect. And that's it, exactly - Sam must feel so *betrayed* in a sense to have always had faith and to feel that none of it even *mattered*.
so, yeah, its totally wrong but i totally had a flash of chipmunk!sam sitting down to write dean a letter. *snort*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-25 03:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-26 10:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-26 10:04 pm (UTC)Aw, thank you!!!
And that's it, exactly - Sam must feel so *betrayed* in a sense to have always had faith and to feel that none of it even *mattered*.
YES!!! It's totally the helpless despair of that!! No matter how hard he tried, he's always been on this path and he wants so desperately to be good!!! And he's so alone!! SAM!!! *cries*
so, yeah, its totally wrong but i totally had a flash of chipmunk!sam sitting down to write dean a letter. *snort*
Ahahahaha!!! Perfect!! Poor, tiny emo chipmunk!Sam!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-25 02:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-26 10:10 pm (UTC)Anyway, *coughs* Thanks!!!