RPS: Fandom Is Srs Bznz Part II

[errant_jane]

Part I

Fandom Is Srs Bznz Part II

***

It is only because Misha is a consummate actor that he's able to keep the open hostility off of his face as Jensen sits across from him at dinner and says, "I have a confession to make." Instead, Misha gives him his best I am warmly and politely interested expression.

"I knew it was you. Zach may have mentioned it. I was writing the RPS to yank your chain." He ducks his head and gives Misha a shy boy-next-door look. "But after I read your story, I thought-- maybe there was more to it?"

That fucking coy dickhead. He's daring Misha to admit that he knew... Well, if that's how he wants to play it. "Yeah, I uh. After our phone conversation, I suspected-- I thought I would take a chance." He shrugs and grins, "I'd already pretty much laid it out on the line, right?" He half-laughs now. "I mean, you probably figured it out from the stories about you and Jared anyway."

Jensen's eyes narrow for half a second, but then he smiles and says, "I'm really glad you called."

Misha responds by slipping off his shoe and running his foot up Jensen's leg under the table. Take that!

"I, uh." Jensen leans forward and says, "You wanna get out of here?"

Well played, Jensen. Misha wants to make a 'tip of my hat' gesture. Instead, he says, "Let's eat first."

The smirk on Jensen's face is enough to keep Misha going through dinner. He cannot for the life of him remember anything he says. He's on revenge autopilot bullshitting at this point. Which is, to be fair, kind of like his regular autopilot bullshitting, but with a purpose.

At the end of the meal, Misha picks up the tab, because he's a gentleman.

Jensen, the cocky bastard, thanks him and then says, "My place or yours?"

Misha wants to laugh, because if Jensen thinks that he's the one who is going to crack, he's going to be sorely disappointed. Misha's got a bag with condoms and lube sitting in his car. He's prepared for anything. He tilts his head and smiles. "Up to you, princess."

That stops them both. Jensen furrows his brow and says, "Did you just call me princess?"

"Yeah. That was weird, right?"

"Little bit, yeah."

"I'm not really sure what that was about." Misha scratches the back of his neck and tries to get his head in the game. It would be a pity to lose now because of one stupid comment. "How about my place?" he says while Jensen is still as thrown as he is. He decides the home-court advantage is definitely necessary.

"Sure." Jensen winks. "I'll follow you home."

They are both, at this point, stone-cold sober.

***

Jensen follows Misha into his house, and they don't even make it out of the entryway before Misha is on him, pushing him against the wall and kissing him. It is rough and not at all sexy. Misha is trying to get him to punk out, he gets that. Still, Jensen is more than a little insulted that he doesn't merit Misha's A-game. And if Misha thinks that Jensen's gonna surrender because of some bad kissing, he's out of his fucking mind.

"Hold up," Jensen says, pulling back a little.

Misha looks so smug at that moment that Jensen scratches his slow seduction plan, grabs Misha's shoulders and flips them around so that Misha is the one pressed against the wall.

"Much better." He wedges a knee between Misha's thighs and Misha frowns. Jensen smiles in return. Bends down and kisses Misha's punk-ass into submission, because Dean Winchester's mojo? Is all Jensen Fucking Ackles, baby. When Misha starts to respond, Jensen reaches down for the button on Misha's pants. I see your sloppy kisses and raise you a handjob, Jensen thinks triumphantly. He doesn't really consider it so much gay, them making out while he jacks Misha off. It's just proving a point. He thinks that once Misha comes, that'll be that. Game over.

What Jensen does not expect is for Misha to drop to his knees and start to undo Jensen's pants. To be fair, he may have underestimated his opponent. Perhaps it is time to beat a hasty, if temporary, retreat and plot a little more. Well, he thinks as Misha gets his zipper down. Maybe in a few minutes.

At first, Jensen closes his eyes and simply enjoys the consuming wet heat of someone sucking his cock. Thinks he might as well pretend that it's some hot chick and enjoy it. A blowjob is a blowjob, after all. However, for some perverse reason the face that pops into his head is Alba's, so he opens his eyes and looks down.

The first thing he thinks is, Christ. That's a much better use for Misha's mouth than him talking. His eyelashes are dark against his cheeks and, if Jensen is being honest with himself, Misha looks almost pretty from this angle with his lips stretched wide around Jensen's cock.

Jensen isn't aware that he's reaching out until his fingers thread through Misha's hair, which is softer than Jensen expected. Misha looks up at him and anyone else in his position would have the decency to look at least mildly embarrassed that it has gone this far, but Misha just looks arrogant as hell.

To add insult to this injury, Jensen feels the briefest scrape of Misha's teeth, so Jensen retaliates by pulling his hair. If Misha didn't have his mouth full, Jensen would swear that fucker was laughing at him.

So Jensen grips his hair a little tighter than he probably should, just for a moment, and says, "Christ, you look so hot sucking me."

Misha actually has the gall to roll his eyes, which Jensen is almost ready to forgive half a second later when he does something that makes Jensen think that this might not be his first rodeo. Jensen's knees buckle a little and he braces his free hand against the wall as Misha pulls off suddenly and starts jacking him off.

As it turns out, Misha does have some lines that he will not cross. One is drawn at "swallowing."

***

It is entirely possible that Misha did not anticipate some of the more awkward logistical issues with regards to blowing one's coworker in the entryway of one's house. Still, despite the stickiness they are both currently experiencing, Misha can't help but feel a little bit smug about the dumbstruck look on Jensen's face. He stands up and is about to suggest they take it to the bedroom, ready to go in for the final kill, when Jensen says, "I think I should go."

Stammers it, more like, and Misha's about to claim victory when Jensen leans down and kisses him again. Sucks on his bottom lip before he pulls away completely, looks Misha in the eye and says, "You free tomorrow?" His voice is all crackling low, the closest Misha's heard of Dean in Jensen, and he asks the question like he would like nothing more than to stay the night.

There is just no way that Jensen is going to puss out like this and still have the upper hand, so Misha says, "Yes." Has to contain a sneer as Jensen smiles and winks at him.

"Come over to my place, then. Jared's out of town. I'll cook." He kisses Misha again and then leaves.

"I'll cook," Misha mimics as he watches Jensen pull out of the driveway. "Dickhead."

With the rest of the evening unexpectedly free, Misha goes to take a shower and brush his teeth. Not necessarily in that order.

***

Even though it's fairly late when Jensen gets home from Misha's, he can't really sleep. So he decides to plot. Plotting against Misha turns into plotting fic about Misha. Within the hour he has a fully-formed vignette written as a response to Misha's fic. It's really disgustingly sappy. Jensen posts the story and goes to bed feeling quite satisfied.

The next evening, Misha kisses him as soon as he walks in the door and dinner is pretty much forgotten.

"Jensen, I want--" Misha starts, but Jensen cuts him off.

"I know what you want." He smiles at Misha's suspicious look and kisses along Misha's jawline before whispering, "Why else would you have written all those stories about me topping Jared?"

It takes a concerted effort oh his part not to laugh at Misha's thwarted expression. But Misha apparently rallies, because he smirks and says, "Shall we take this to the bedroom, then?"

Jensen makes a lead the way gesture, and actually does laugh as Misha stalks off down the hall, removing articles of clothing and throwing them down on the floor as he goes. When he turns to see what Jensen is laughing at, Jensen shrugs and says, "I'm so happy this is finally happening."

They make it to the bedroom and Jensen is still fully dressed as he shuts the door behind him. Misha stands there in nothing but his jeans, his arms crossed over his chest. He looks somewhat exasperated and Jensen thinks that maybe he's ready to call it off.

Instead, Misha fists a hand in Jensen's t-shirt and pulls him against his body. Kisses him rough with flicks of his tongue that speaks of drug-induced orgies and tantric sex. Jensen thinks that maybe he should be surprised that they're both already hard.

For the first time, as they're wrapped around each other and stumbling towards the bed, Jensen actually thinks about what sex with Misha might be like. With Misha undoing Jensen's pants in jerky, impatient tugs and biting and sucking at the curve of his neck, Jensen thinks that it has the potential to be filthy in ways that hit buttons he wasn't even aware he had. This is Misha of Tibetan backpacking and Burning Man. Misha who off-handedly tosses around jokes about sensual enemas.

As if Misha can tell what Jensen's thinking, he takes a step back and hooks his thumbs under the waistband of Jensen's boxers and jeans and shoves them halfway down his hips, flashing an arrogant grin. Then again, maybe Misha is simply pleased at his triumph over the pants.

Misha shucks his own pants as Jensen kicks out of his and then pulls his shirt off. And there they are, naked. The look Misha gives him says something along the lines of, your move, so Jensen reaches around Misha's waist and pulls Misha against him, his palm spread flat against the small of Misha's back.

The first press of skin against skin is more of a shock than Jensen anticipated, and if ever there were a moment to admit that they've taken this too far...

But Misha slides his hands up Jensen's back and curves his fingers so that blunt nails dig into Jensen's skin as he drags them down. At the same time he bites on Jensen's collarbone so hard that Jensen nearly comes then and there.

It's enough that Jensen almost doesn't see what Misha's trying to do. But he really doesn't know Jensen very well if he thinks he's going to get out of being fucked that easily. This is not Jensen's first time at sex.

Jensen runs his fingers through Misha's hair, pulls hard enough to tilt Misha's head back so that he's looking him in the eye. Misha's pupils are dilated and Jensen licks his lips. Says, "God, I want—"

What he wants is to fuck Misha stupid and there's just no way he's about to admit that out loud, so he pushes Misha onto the bed without finishing the thought and crawls over him and starts kissing him again. Misha, being the sneaky bastard that he is, snakes his hand down between their bodies and wraps his fingers around Jensen's cock.

"Nguh." Jensen breaks off the kiss, presses his forehead against Misha's shoulder and focuses on breathing.

"You like that?" Misha is playing dirty, using that voice. "Think of how good it'll feel when you're actually fucking me." That low, gravely voice and there is no way that Jensen is going to be able to hear it from now on without thinking of this.

Filming next season is going to be a bitch.

Jensen has to take a moment to regroup, can't stop from thrusting into Misha's hand, and he really needs to get this show on the road before he embarrasses himself. "How do you want it?" he finally asks. He looks up to see an inscrutable expression cross Misha's face before he grins and pushes Jensen off of him so that he can flip over onto his stomach.

"Fuck. Yeah. Fuck." Jensen is really glad Misha can't see him as he fumbles on the night table for the provisions he bought. Manages to actually get the condom on before Misha props himself onto his elbows and turns to see what Jensen is doing.

"Everything okay back there?" He sounds entirely too nonchalant, and it will occur to Jensen later to be amused that Misha uses his sex voice to play Castiel.

"Yeah," Jensen says, doesn't even have to work at making his own voice sound sex-rough. He grabs Misha's hips and tugs a little. "On your knees."

Jensen is momentarily afraid that Misha's going to balk at the order, but Misha just pushes himself up, easy as you please. And Jensen licks at his lips, his mouth suddenly dry because, yeah, they're gonna do this now.

His hands linger on Misha's hips for another moment, his fingers flexing lightly before he pulls away to grab the bottle of lube. He squeezes some out to coat his fingers and, sure, he could warm it up a little. Instead he smiles at the hiss of Misha's indrawn breath as he presses two fingers into him without warning.

"Yeah," Jensen says, twisting his fingers. "Tell me how much you want it." He's flat-out taunting Misha now and they both know it.

"I want it so fucking much," Misha says through clenched teeth. He sounds pissed.

So Jensen leans over, his fingers still buried in Misha's ass and says, "Beg me to fuck you."

The look Misha gives him promises that there will be hell to pay later. Jensen, however, is way too far gone to heed the warning and curves his fingers, finds that spot, and Misha squeezes his eyes shut and says, "Please. I want you to fuck me." He actually sounds like he means it, his broken off gasp is genuine, just like the curled toes and fingers twisting up the sheets are. Jensen's heartbeat pounds in his throat and ear drums.

Jensen figures he might as well go for broke. He pulls his fingers out, slaps Misha's ass and says, "All you had to do was ask."

He squirts some more lube out to coat his cock, then wipes his hand off on the sheet before grabbing Misha's hips and lining himself up. Presses in and can't hold back the moan as Misha's body grips his cock, hot and tight almost to the point of pain and Jensen can't remember anything ever feeling quite this fucking fantastic.

Misha grunts and says something that sounds a lot like fuck as Jensen tightens his hold on Misha's hips and pulls him back as he thrusts forward. Jensen almost goes to a say my name place, but that might be stooping too low, even for him. Besides, he's not sure he can actually speak at the moment.

So he concentrates on driving Misha out of his mind. Slow hard thrusts that eventually drag his name from Misha's lips without him having to ask. This ends up being Jensen's undoing. The way he says it.

"Jen-SEN!" In that voice, like his name is describing in graphic detail every filthy sex act that man has ever thought of and then some.

His movements become jerky and uneven as his control slips and he reaches around to stroke Misha's cock, because he absolutely cannot come before Misha does or he will never live it down.

Fortunately, Misha doesn't seem intent on out-stubborning him on this, because it only takes a few strokes before Misha is shaking and coming under him and Jensen is able to let go. He slams into Misha's body a few more times and then he's coming too, so hard he's afraid he might black out.

Jensen pulls out, throws away the condom with trembling fingers, and flops back down on the bed without ever looking directly at Misha. For his part, Misha has rolled onto his back and seems content to just be for the moment.

They lay there for a few minutes, not talking. It's almost peaceful and Jensen is starting to succumb to the post-sex lethargy when Misha scares the shit out of him by rolling onto his side and propping himself up so that he's looming over Jensen. He does nothing else until Jensen looks him in the eye.

Misha leans down, kisses Jensen long and slow until Jensen responds with an interest he will be worried about feeling later. Then he pulls back, sucks on Jensen's bottom lip for a moment before biting down hard enough to draw blood.

Jensen is glad for recoup time, because he's pretty sure that if it were a few minutes later, that would have worked for him in a major way.

"I'm going home now," Misha says in a way that brooks no argument. "Be at my place tomorrow by eight." The or else is implied.

"Yeah."

It is sometime around three the next day when Misha posts his kidfic. Jensen knows that no matter which way he goes from there, he is well and truly fucked.

***

Jensen shows up that evening with a bottle of really nice wine. Misha has to give him points for trying but he is not going to give him the out of any sort of inebriation. Not when they've done oh so well without it thus far.

No, tonight the ball is in Misha's court and he fully intends to press his advantage.

He invites Jensen in, sets the bottle of wine on the table in the entryway so that Jensen doesn't get his hopes up and leads him into the family room. "I thought maybe we could watch a movie. I just got Boondock Saints from netflix today."

It is difficult to contain his glee at Jensen's dumbfounded expression. Because Jensen has to know that the movie thing is just him being a dick and Misha is ready to insist that they watch it in its entirety.

Maybe if Jensen is good, they can make-out during part of it. Maybe not. Misha's still irritated over the begging thing and he's never been all that quick to forgive.

By the time the movie is over, Jensen looks so wound up that he might happily crawl out of his skin, which is about exactly where Misha wants him. He actually jumps when Misha rests his fingers on the back of Jensen's neck and leans over to whisper, "Bedroom?"

"I, uh--"

Misha pushes up and turns to straddle Jensen's lap. "I want to fuck you tonight." He pitches his voice low and speaks directly into Jensen's ear. "I have my heart set on it, in fact. And I'm very, very good at getting what I want." What he does not say is, turnabout is fair play. It's fairly clear that's what he means.

Jensen closes his eyes and his mouth curves in to a self-deprecating smile. Without really thinking about it, Misha leans forward to kiss him and Jensen simply opens up underneath him. Which was pretty much the point of the movie-- to draw out the tension until Jensen was aching for the other shoe to drop.

Mission accomplished. Well played, me, Misha thinks. He slides off of Jensen's lap and holds out his hand. Jensen takes it without hesitation and Misha feels a twinge of disappointment that he's not putting up more of a resistance. He didn't expect Jensen to break quite this easily.

So Misha pulls him close and whispers, "You're suddenly my bitch?"

He leans back to see Jensen's scowl. That's more like it.

Without another word, Misha turns and walks towards his bedroom, undressing as he goes, knowing that Jensen will follow. It is sex time now and tonight Misha gets to set the agenda. He smiles when he reaches the bedroom and turns to find that this time Jensen has also been undressing as they walked.

"Christ, Ackles." Misha has to laugh. "How the hell do you walk down the street unmolested?" He's never met anyone who looks quite so constantly fuckable. It's absolutely absurd.

Jensen quirks a smile. "Well, I don't generally strip as I go, for one thing."

"Yeah, I'm sure that makes a difference," Misha says sarcastically. He raises his eyebrows and looks pointedly at Jensen's jeans, which he is still wearing. "Strip 'em off and get into bed, pretty boy."

He watches as Jensen rolls his eyes, but does as he asks. Waits until Jensen settles before crawling in after him. He covers Jensen's body with his own and takes a moment to simply study Jensen's face. Their eyes meet and he can feel the moment stretch between them.

"Misha." Jensen finally breaks, moves restlessly against him, and whatever else might be going on here, there's no way Jensen can deny that he wants it.

That gets to Misha like nothing else and he decides to forego his original eye-for-an-eye themed course of action in lieu of a better idea. He kisses Jensen, soft and teasing until Jensen growls, frustrated, and grabs the back of Misha's neck. Misha makes a noise of approval and deepens the kiss, pressing into Jensen with increasing urgency as Jensen's hands roam over his back, pulling him closer.

He finally breaks the kiss in favor of tasting more of Jensen's skin. Kisses down his neck, over his chest. Scrapes his teeth over Jensen's nipple and then presses his tongue against it, pleased at the way Jensen arches against his mouth.

There isn't anything that Misha could ask for right now that Jensen wouldn't do. He would beg if Misha asked. More than that, he would mean it in a way that he wouldn't be able to deny afterwards.

Misha doesn't make him beg, because Jensen's watching him as he rolls on a condom, his eyes flicking up to Misha's face. Misha doesn't make him beg because it's enough to know that he would, for Jensen to know that Misha is letting it slide.

Jensen starts to turn over as Misha grabs the lube, but Misha presses his shoulder back down onto the bed. He taps at Jensen's legs until Jensen bends them, opening himself up to Misha's gaze. Misha sees on his face that Jensen understands what's going on.

"Have you ever been fucked before?" Misha asks as he slicks his cock. He knows the answer already, so he doesn't expect the jerky shake of Jensen's head to affect him the way it does. He has to squeeze the base of his cock hard. "Relax," he says as he presses the tip of his finger against Jensen's hole. "I know what I'm doing."

Without any further preliminaries, Misha positions himself and presses in slow and steady. Jensen clenches his jaw and breathes in hard through his nose.

"Relax," Misha says again. He leans down to brush a sloppy kiss against Jensen's mouth. "God, you're so tight."

"I'll remember this," Jensen says like it's a threat.

Misha looks at him and smiles. "I'm counting on it."

It's as far as he can push being a cocky-ass mother fucker, because Jensen is sofuckintight and Misha can't look away, the way Jensen arches his neck, parts his lips and gasps as Misha moves back and presses into him again.

Jensen's tongue darts out to wet his lips and Misha does look away, then. Groans and says, "Christ, Jensen." Because the fucker really is too pretty for anyone's piece of mind.

"Yeah," Jensen says. He slides hands up Misha's back and moves like he's trying to press their bodies closer together and Misha has officially lost track of who is playing who.

"You have no idea." Misha pants and bites his lip as he thrusts. Starts kissing Jensen open-mouthed, losing his tongue inside Jensen's mouth before he slips and says something he'll regret later. Because as it turns out, whatever else is going on here, Misha's honest enough with himself to admit that he wants this too. Wants it bad and with the hysterical edge that colors all of Misha's grandest mistakes.

Jensen twists and arches beneath him, clutching at Misha's shoulders hard enough to leave marks and Misha tries to find the right angle to hit Jensen's prostate with each inward motion. The way Jensen's body jerks on the next thrust lets him know he's getting that right.

He slips his hand down between them and wraps his fingers around Jensen's cock. Thinks that someday he wants to make Jensen come just from being fucked, but this is Jensen's first time and the knowledge of that makes Misha's control tenuous at best.

It doesn't take much, a few strokes and Jensen is coming. The look on his face is enough to trigger Misha's orgasm and for the first time, Misha briefly thinks that maybe this whole thing was a bad idea. Then he thinks oh well, life is best when one is fucking it up and kisses Jensen hard before rolling off of him.

They lay there for awhile, long enough that Misha must've drifted off a little, because he's startled when he feels Jensen move to get out of bed. He throws his arm out to catch Jensen's shoulder.

"Where are you going?"

"I, uh. I thought I'd go home."

Misha snorts and pulls him back down, turns on his side so he can sling his arm across Jensen's chest. "Stay the night." He just went and upped the ante again.

Jensen's body remains tense for another moment and then he relaxes. Mumbles, "Okay."

At this point, Misha thinks that he's going to have to make due with the small victories for awhile.

The next day, after Jensen has gone home, Misha is checking his friendslist. He sighs as he sees alba_sucks at the top of the list. It is another Jensen/Misha story and in it, Jensen cries during sex.

Misha laughs until it hurts.

Jensen is a worthy opponent indeed.

***

Misha is in the middle of telling Jensen about an idea he got from a fic that he read. Jensen is about to tell Misha that he is not entirely comfortable getting sex ideas from fic when his cell phone rings.

He doesn't recognize the number, but Misha looks over his shoulder, smirks and says, "Answer it. I'll go get the supplies." As he leaves the room he adds, "You can strip while you talk."

Jensen decides that it's easier to just answer the phone than argue. "Hello?"

"Jensen, sweetheart. I feel like maybe you don't fully grasp the concept of revenge."

"Zach?" Jensen tucks the phone against his shoulder so that he can unbutton his shirt. "I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"Oh, well by all means, let me clarify," Zach says. "I'm not sure that stroking Misha's ego online everyday and then stroking everything else at night is hurting him as much as you think."

"Okay, sure. It may look bad on the surface," Jensen says. "But believe me, I have an endgame in mind."

Zach snorts. "Oh really? Does it involve marrying him and having his assbabies?"

Jensen has decided that he's not going to dignify that with an answer when Misha walks in with his bottle of good tequila, a salt shaker, a bowl of limes, and where did he find scarves? "The body shots we can do, but you are not tying me up."

"Oh, Christ. Did you answer the phone in the middle of sex? Who does that?" Zach sounds so appalled that it might actually be amusing later.

Right now Jensen's feeling a little mortified. "I should go," he says as Misha motions for him to lose the pants.

"Worst revenge ever," Zach says and hangs up.

Misha unscrews the bottle of tequila and takes a shot, grimacing as he swallows.

Jensen starts to laugh. "You sure you can handle that bottle, Yankee?"

"Shut up and get on the bed."

***

They're supposed to leave to go back to Vancouver tomorrow and Misha still has packing to do. Which is why he agrees to hit the bars with Zach when he calls. Misha has always been a fan of drunken packing. Not only does it seem like less of a chore, it also makes unpacking kind of like Christmas. And you get to play the, "What was I thinking when I packed this?" game.

They've been drinking for awhile when Misha admits that he and Jensen are going to be living together in Vancouver.

"Don't you think that maybe you've taken this thing with Jensen just a little too far?" Zach asks like he's concerned, but really he's just digging for dirt.

"No such thing."

"Or maybe you're enjoying yourself a little too much?"

Misha motions for another drink before answering. "It's not about that."

Zach makes a tsking noise and shakes his head. "Is the sex that bad, then?"

It occurs to Misha that the situation must really be killing him for Zach to try to casually fish for information rather than demand Misha tell him everything now. "Well," Misha says, tilting his head. "Think about the best lay you've ever had. That guy who would do every filthy thing you could think to ask for, where afterward you have to think, 'Where did that come from? And can we do it again?'." He pauses, then asks. "You have someone in mind?"

He waits for Zach's nod and then leans in and says, "Now imagine that he looks like Jensen Ackles."

"You are such a bitch," Zach says flatly. Then, "Just how filthy are we talking?"

Misha laughs. "A gentleman doesn't tell."

Zach peers around the room dramatically. "George Clooney's here?" Misha laughs and Zach grumbles. "Why do I even talk to you?"

"Because you tire of idiots and sycophants?" Misha takes a sip of his drink and smiles. "Admit it, you miss having someone intelligent to talk to when I'm gone."

"I'll have you know, Chris is extremely intelligent." Zach sounds irritated.

"Well, well." Misha laughs. "I wasn't actually casting aspersions on your boyfriend."

Before Zach can respond, Chris comes bounding up from God knows where and slings his arms around both Zach and Misha, leaning in between them. "Meeeeeeeshaaa," he says and then laughs. "I love you, man. You crack my shit up. I just want you to know, I don't believe anything Zach says about you."

Misha raises his glass in a mock toast and says, "Only the bestiality stories are false."

Chris laughs loudly and kisses both Zach and Misha on the cheek. "Catch you later, homiez!" And then he's off again.

"You were saying?"

Zach shakes his head and scowls. "I hate you so much."

***

It is Jensen's idea to fly in from Vancouver for the weekend and go back to Edendale for their six month anniversary. Six months of exchanging fic everyday and, quite frankly, an obscene amount of sex. It is actually starting to wear Jensen out, which is pretty much unprecedented.

They make it through dinner and dessert with light conversation about work, the apocalypse, Jared's ridiculous hair, Christian mythology. The usual. They do not talk about fandom or the fact that they flew to L.A. for the weekend for their six month anniversary. The car ride home is taken up entirely by making up the most ridiculous sixth season for Supernatural that they can think of. Unicorns factor into it heavily. It devolves from there to a Banana King place.

Misha loosens his tie as they walk into the house and Jensen bats his hands away to take over the task himself, intent on having this conversation before he loses his nerve entirely. "Look, without admitting defeat or anything--" He can't help himself, he has to throw in that caveat. "How much longer is this going to go on before we call a truce and admit that we're actually dating?"

He regrets it as soon as he sees the grin on Misha's face. "Bitch," Misha says warmly. "I knew you'd punk out first."

Jensen quirks his brow. "Oh yeah?" He shrugs and drops his hands. "Well, since I punked out and all, I guess I'll just go back to my place."

He makes it two steps before Misha grabs his arm and pulls him back. "I can't believe I settled down with such a fucking drama queen." It is as close to a concession as Jensen is likely to get from Misha.

***

Fandom_Wank:

Apparently things have been too quiet lately in the SPN RPS fandom. It's because our favorite wankers, alba_sucks and preeveht-minion have decided that instead of rivals, they are going to be internet gay for each other.

preeveht-minion writes sappy JA/MC fic which she dedicates to her girlfriend, alba_sucks. As it turns out, they have been dating for months, and fandom reels in shock. They've been swapping stories and sappy comments for awhile now, but them actually dating is big news?

There are mostly comments of congratulations. However, an old f_w favorite, face_pants (who is not even in this fandom) takes exception in a thinly veiled post in her own lj.

I'm so sick of twee fangirls who suddenly decide via fandom that they are actually gay for each other. Kindly fuck off and die and spare us your insane wannabe lesbian bullshit.

Anyone who has been around these parts for any length of time knows better than to engage face_pants in any sort of debate.

Lucky for f_w, alba_sucks has not yet learned this rule.

She wants to know what gives face_pants the right to deny the validity of her relationship with preeveht-minion. face_pants responds as expected and hilarity ensues.

It gets even better when preeveht-minion gets wind of the whole thing and comes to chastise her gf in comments:

Oh, bb. Haven't I taught you better than to poke an angry fandom lesbian with a stick?

face_pants responds with "That's right, p-m. Better come get your ho."

alba_sucks is then torn between who to respond to, and the wank explodes even more from there as everyone else gets in on the action. Highlights: BOOBS or GTFO, son of lurkers supportin' a_s in emails, and this macro of unicorns copulating.

Here's hoping that alba_sucks slips her leash more often.

***

Misha looks up from his computer at the noise Jensen makes to find Jensen scowling at him.

"Was that really necessary?"

"What do you mean?" Misha knows exactly what he's asking. He just enjoys how incredibly irritated Jensen gets.

"You think I don't know that you wrote that fandom wank post?"

Misha shrugs philosophically. "Well, stop being wanky on the internet and I'll stop mocking you for it."

Jensen glares, which works for Misha in ways that he will never ever admit out loud.

"Did you just throw down?" Jensen finally asks.

"It would appear that way, wouldn't it?" Anticipation tingles through Misha's entire body and Jensen, God bless him, doesn't disappoint.

"Well then." He smirks and tilts his head. "Bring it on, bitch."

Oh, yes, Misha thinks. Let the games begin.


End Notes: The brilliant hilarity that is Jensen's epic fic was written by missyjack. Misha's thinkythoughts responding fic was done by ethrosdemon. They both also did exceptional audiencing/cheerleading/hand-holding duties for like a week and a half, so thank you, ladies, for rocking so hardcore.

Also? Check out my new icon by kadiel_krieger. It's funny 'cause it's true.

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[errant-jane.livejournal.com]

It is true in my mind. Does that count?