SPN Fic: The Cards Fall Where They May
May. 31st, 2009 09:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
errant_janeSo, I had to write Castiel fic in order to feel like the day hadn't been entirely wasted. This is totally to justify the crackfic I've been writing.
Anywhoo, fic under the cut.
***
As far as he can tell, Castiel made at least one grave miscalculation regarding Dean Winchester. He made several mistakes, big and small. But this one miscalculation went to the core of Dean's being. Something that in hindsight seems so obvious.
But the Winchester brothers had been divvied up between Heaven and Hell years before either of them were born. An unspoken agreement, but it was there nonetheless.
When Dean was born, Castiel was there. It was he who looked into Mary Winchester's heart, and whispered in her ear, "Angels are watching over your Dean." Felt the joy within him when Mary repeated the words to her baby as she tucked him in at night. Dean had been marked for greatness. It was a mistake that nobody ever let him know.
***
Castiel was the one who listened to Sam Winchester's prayers.
Uriel asked him once why he bothered. They all knew what path Sam was headed down.
"I spoke with Michael once about free will," Castiel said as they watched Sam furtively pray. "He told me that we were given free will, the same as humanity." He turned to look at Uriel. "Because we are so close to God, the only choice we have is to fall. Who would choose that?"
They both think of Lucifer. "I'm afraid I do not follow what you're saying, brother."
Thirteen year-old Sam is lying in bed, hands clasped over his heart, his eyes squeezed shut.
"Sam prays for redemption. For him, for his family. He prays for the people they save and the people they don't." He stops, careful now. "Is his ultimate path free will, then, if heaven ignores his prayers?"
Uriel lays a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "God has a plan."
"Yes." Castiel bows his head. "I am glad I am but an instrument of His will."
"Amen." It is the only thing Sam ever says out loud.
Dean is in the other bed sleeping, and Dean doesn't believe in angels.
Sam always prays for both of them. It is why Castiel listens.
***
The essence of Dean's soul has been known to Castiel since before it was placed in his body. The love, honor, and strength of him Castiel knows as well as anything in this world. It is, perhaps, because of this that Castiel missed an essential part of the way Dean's soul took shape in his time on Earth.
Because of the way things unfolded, the things they were not to interfere with, the focus of all of Dean's love and honor and strength did not turn to Heaven. Sam, instead, became Dean's purpose in life. Dean's soul twisted and curled until all he was, all he believed he could ever be, was wrapped around Sam like a protective blanket. The fibers of their beings irrevocably woven together. Dean didn't know how to exist without Sam.
It was not supposed to happen that way. Neither the armies in Heaven or Hell saw it coming.
A new plan had to be devised.
In the end, Dean sold his soul for his brother's life and another year.
It had been Castiel's job had been to protect Dean until the time came, but he did not know how to protect Dean from this.
***
Temptation had always been more of an abstract to Castiel than anything else. Even after Lucifer's fall, Castiel did not really think about how it could happen. Never wondered how it was possible for one of them to fall from Grace.
He should have.
His sins eventually become known to him. Pride being the worst. Disobedience, certainly. The desire to make his own choice in this, when the only place he has to go is down. He realizes that the danger of temptation is that it slides in the cracks that you are unaware of until it's too late.
Dean has been known to him since he came into being. Castiel never had any defenses against him. Didn't realize he needed them until it was too late. Until Dean tells Castiel that they're through, and Castiel realizes that he no longer knows himself without Dean guiding his existence.
It is the end of the world and Castiel prays. That God is still out there, watching. That He will make His presence known again.
Until that day, Castiel has cast his lot with Dean.
Anywhoo, fic under the cut.
***
As far as he can tell, Castiel made at least one grave miscalculation regarding Dean Winchester. He made several mistakes, big and small. But this one miscalculation went to the core of Dean's being. Something that in hindsight seems so obvious.
But the Winchester brothers had been divvied up between Heaven and Hell years before either of them were born. An unspoken agreement, but it was there nonetheless.
When Dean was born, Castiel was there. It was he who looked into Mary Winchester's heart, and whispered in her ear, "Angels are watching over your Dean." Felt the joy within him when Mary repeated the words to her baby as she tucked him in at night. Dean had been marked for greatness. It was a mistake that nobody ever let him know.
***
Castiel was the one who listened to Sam Winchester's prayers.
Uriel asked him once why he bothered. They all knew what path Sam was headed down.
"I spoke with Michael once about free will," Castiel said as they watched Sam furtively pray. "He told me that we were given free will, the same as humanity." He turned to look at Uriel. "Because we are so close to God, the only choice we have is to fall. Who would choose that?"
They both think of Lucifer. "I'm afraid I do not follow what you're saying, brother."
Thirteen year-old Sam is lying in bed, hands clasped over his heart, his eyes squeezed shut.
"Sam prays for redemption. For him, for his family. He prays for the people they save and the people they don't." He stops, careful now. "Is his ultimate path free will, then, if heaven ignores his prayers?"
Uriel lays a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "God has a plan."
"Yes." Castiel bows his head. "I am glad I am but an instrument of His will."
"Amen." It is the only thing Sam ever says out loud.
Dean is in the other bed sleeping, and Dean doesn't believe in angels.
Sam always prays for both of them. It is why Castiel listens.
***
The essence of Dean's soul has been known to Castiel since before it was placed in his body. The love, honor, and strength of him Castiel knows as well as anything in this world. It is, perhaps, because of this that Castiel missed an essential part of the way Dean's soul took shape in his time on Earth.
Because of the way things unfolded, the things they were not to interfere with, the focus of all of Dean's love and honor and strength did not turn to Heaven. Sam, instead, became Dean's purpose in life. Dean's soul twisted and curled until all he was, all he believed he could ever be, was wrapped around Sam like a protective blanket. The fibers of their beings irrevocably woven together. Dean didn't know how to exist without Sam.
It was not supposed to happen that way. Neither the armies in Heaven or Hell saw it coming.
A new plan had to be devised.
In the end, Dean sold his soul for his brother's life and another year.
It had been Castiel's job had been to protect Dean until the time came, but he did not know how to protect Dean from this.
***
Temptation had always been more of an abstract to Castiel than anything else. Even after Lucifer's fall, Castiel did not really think about how it could happen. Never wondered how it was possible for one of them to fall from Grace.
He should have.
His sins eventually become known to him. Pride being the worst. Disobedience, certainly. The desire to make his own choice in this, when the only place he has to go is down. He realizes that the danger of temptation is that it slides in the cracks that you are unaware of until it's too late.
Dean has been known to him since he came into being. Castiel never had any defenses against him. Didn't realize he needed them until it was too late. Until Dean tells Castiel that they're through, and Castiel realizes that he no longer knows himself without Dean guiding his existence.
It is the end of the world and Castiel prays. That God is still out there, watching. That He will make His presence known again.
Until that day, Castiel has cast his lot with Dean.
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Date: 2009-06-01 08:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-06-11 11:20 pm (UTC)Thank you so much for commenting!!!
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Date: 2009-06-11 11:41 pm (UTC)Aww! *grins* Thanks!!
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