SPN Fic: Here We Can Rest Safely

[errant_jane]

So I told kadiel_krieger that I would write her stories if she made me this icon. She wanted one of the failed attempts at Happily Ever After before they got to When It's Done (to make up for the sappy sapness I made her read?), so that's what this is. Angels' reward attempt, take one!

Too late in the evening to think up headers. This is genfic. *waves* It has a title!

Here We Can Rest Safely

***

Dean sits up in bed, wide awake but unsure as to why. He scrubs his hand over his face and glances at the clock. It reads 3:07 and the house is completely silent, but something itches at the base of his spine and he gets up.

"Just going to check on the kids," he whispers at the mumbled protest his movement provokes.

The door to the twins' room is open and they're both peacefully asleep, so he moves down to the nursery. The glow from the nightlight is enough to show Isabella is also asleep and, not for the first time, Dean thinks how much they lucked out with her. Caleb and Jacob had both been fussy babies, only sleeping for a few hours at a time and never the same few hours.

There had been several months there when Dean wasn't sure Rebecca would survive the sleep deprivation with her sanity intact, but his girl was nothing if not a fierce and determined badass. It's why he'd married her in the first place.

He trails his fingers down Isabella's back and smiles. It's easy to see that she'll be as pretty as her mother, which makes him absurdly proud and more than a little worried. Dean knows what boys are like and he already wasn't looking forward to the teenage years. Lucky for him, she had two protective big brothers to look out for her in those times when Dean wouldn't be able to.

For some reason the thought makes his chest ache and he shakes his head, bemused at his odd middle-of-the-night attack of melancholy. He does the mental calculations as he wanders down to the kitchen. It's one a.m. in California and a Friday night. He hesitates for only a moment before punching in the number and putting the phone up to his ear. It's in the speed dial, of course, but for some reason Dean likes to dial it out. He's afraid if he doesn't, he'll forget it. It's an odd sort of anxiety, but Dean's beyond questioning it at this point.

Sam picks up on the second ring. "Hey," he says softly.

"Didn't wake you up, did I?" Dean asks.

"No, no. I think I have enough paperwork to make sure I never sleep again." Sam sounds more amused than stressed, which means that he's up for the distraction. "What are you doing up?"

"No idea," Dean admits, tucking the phone against his shoulder as he opens the fridge. Might as well make himself a sandwich while he's here. "Weird dream, maybe. But I am wide awake. Thought I'd check up on you. See how you're holding up." He pulls all of the necessary ingredients out of the fridge and then grabs a beer while he's at it.

"Hmm. I'm surviving."

"And Jess?"

"Jess gets more beautiful every day," Sam says automatically.

Dean chuckles, "Yeah? And?"

"Big as a house and as likely to punch me as kiss me. I just do what I can to keep her happy." Sam sounds like he couldn't be more pleased about it.

"Good, I'm glad." Dean nods to himself and smiles. "I'm glad."

"How about you? How's the brood?"

"Very well behaved at the moment."

Sam laughs and says, "Because they're all in bed?"

"Something like that." Dean grins. "The boys are loving school, despite being in separate classes. Which, thank god, y'know?"

"They're good kids."

"They're unholy terrors," Dean says warmly. Sam's assessment is closer to the truth, but they do like to get into the kind of trouble that only twins can manage and Dean is always torn between the necessity of punishing them and the swell of pride he feels at how ingenious they really are. "I'm pretty sure we never gave Mom and Dad this much grief."

"Of course not," Sam says wryly. "We were angels."

"Yeah."

"You okay, Dean?" Sam asks and the ache in Dean's chest gets a little more intense.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just—" He laughs at himself. "Guess I'm just kinda missing you, kid." Dean thought that when Sam left for school it was temporary. That he would get his degree and come back. But Jess had happened, then grad school and, well, life. Sam's life was there and Dean's wasn't.

There are times when that still seems wrong somehow.

"I miss you too," Sam says quietly. "Hey, maybe after I'm done with this case I could come home for a visit."

"Jess is eight months pregnant," Dean says like Sam needs to be reminded. "You aren't going anywhere for awhile, buddy."

"Well, maybe you could come here?"

Dean swallows against the lump in his throat. "Jess is eight months pregnant," he repeats. "While she might be okay with Mom visiting, or even Bec, I'm pretty sure she's not going to want me around distracting you from your husbandly duties, charming though I am."

There's a long pause and then Sam says, "I'm gonna try like hell to make it home for Christmas this year." Between work, the flu and Jess' family, Sam hasn't made it home for the holidays the past three years.

"I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that one," Dean says. He knows new babies have a way of thwarting even the best laid plans. "I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, Sammy."

"I know, I just—" Sam sighs. "I have everything I've ever wanted. I love Jess and I'm out of my mind with joy about the baby, y'know? But sometimes..."

"Sometimes?"

"Sometimes I feel like I took a wrong turn at some point. Like I didn't quite end up where I'm supposed to be."

"Like something's missing?" Dean asks. He stares at the beer bottle in his hand until his gaze goes unfocused.

"Yeah." Sam is quiet for a minute and then he chuckles dryly. "But maybe that's just nerves talking?"

"Maybe," Dean says. "Maybe I could make it for a weekend. Get a hotel room so that Jess doesn't feel crowded or anything."

"Yeah?"

There's so much hope in Sam's voice that Dean's determined to make it happen. The ache in his chest eases a little having made that decision. "Sure, why not? I'll look into it in the morning."

"That'd be good," Sam says. "We. Yeah."

"Well, I guess I should let you get back to work, then." Dean scratches his nail absently against the label on his beer, peeling the paper off in little strips.

Sam sighs. "I probably should. I'm glad you called, though."

"Yeah, me too. And, uh, I'll let you know what I find out. About visiting."

"Cool. Okay."

There's an awkward pause that happens sometimes with them. A significant something that dances on the edge of Dean's awareness in these moments and then slips away. "Try not to work too hard."

"Sure, sure. Goodnight, Dean."

"Night." Dean hangs up the phone and stares at the food he got out. He's not all that hungry anymore.

"There you are."

Dean looks up to find Rebecca standing in the doorway smiling at him.

"Here I am."

She walks up to him and wraps her arms around his waist. "Were you talking to someone?"

"Just Sam." Dean kisses the top of her head and moves to start putting the food away.

"Is everything okay? Is Jessica alright?"

"Everything's fine. Just." He shrugs. "Felt like talking to him."

"Ah," she drawls. "Early morning edition of the Sam and Dean show." It's said with affection, but the title had come out of one very real argument they'd had. Namely, when Rebecca got pregnant with the boys, her due date fell around the time of Sam and Jessica's wedding. Dean told her he couldn't miss Sam's wedding, Rebecca told him he couldn't miss the birth of his child.

Sam and Jessica pushed the wedding date back six months and for that alone Jessica has Dean's undying love and devotion. Well, had she not already earned it by making his baby brother happy.

"I swear," Rebecca says, her mouth quirked in a half-smile. "If it were anyone but your brother, I'd be worried that I was competing for your affection."

"That's ridiculous." Dean pulls her into a hug and tries to ignore the knot in his stomach. "There's no competition at all."

***

And with that I am off to bed!

Comments

[tenaciousmetoo.livejournal.com]

That's just so...well, it's sweet and right and just, yeah. I love the longing and the understanding wives. Lovely.

[errant-jane.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you!!! I think, even in a pocket universe you would have to be very understanding to be married to Sam or Dean.

Of course, they're pretty enough to make it worth the trouble.