SPN Fic: Lessons Learned
May. 19th, 2009 09:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
errant_janeHere is a "The Rapture" Coda!
Dean thinks that Castiel can read his mind, and Castiel doesn't feel the need to correct him on this, though it is not, in the strictest sense, the case. Occasionally slip in to dreams, perhaps, but he cannot read what is going on in a mortal mind, in their heart of hearts. That is for God alone to know and judge.
Castiel can, however, glean what humans are feeling and make an educated guess, depending on how strong the emotion is, and Dean… Dean is a pulsing cloud of emotion, forever open for Castiel to read like a book. There is a corner of his mind where Castiel marvels at how Dean could survive his time in Hell and still feel like he does. But thinking like that is what got Castiel called out of his vessel in the first place, so he suppresses the thought as he rises, finally back in Jimmy's body.
The strongest thing coming from Dean right now is concern. Dean was upset about Castiel, is confused as well, and Castiel's newly instilled resolve momentarily wavers. That Dean was anxious about his fate is just so patently human it's almost absurd, and something akin to affection tugs at Castiel.
But the renewed burn of Heaven's fire fills his heart, and he can look at Jimmy's family and feel not a twinge, despite the vessel's affection for them. Worried curiosity pours off of Dean, and Castiel wonders how much Dean would dare ask in front of the others, but finds he doesn't have to steel himself for the inevitable questions.
"Cas, hold up." As it turns out, Dean only has the one. "What were you gonna tell me?"
"I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean." He can't help but say Dean's name, even now. "I serve Heaven, I don't serve Man. And I certainly don't serve you."
Before, Castiel would have felt that statement unfair, if for no other reason than that, if Dean had ever thought that Castiel served him, it is because Castiel did just about everything in his power to give him that impression.
As Castiel turns, he finds himself anticipating a wave of hurt and confusion to overtake him. He almost stops when it doesn't happen. What he gets instead, as he walks away from Dean, is a sense of... acceptance.
Castiel knows, then, that despite everything, Dean Winchester never expected his loyalty. He'd always known that the point would come when Castiel would turn his back on him. It was what Dean had come to expect from everyone in his life, and Castiel allows himself one intense moment of regret that he can't be the one to prove Dean wrong on that.
But, they all have their parts to play, and Castiel remembers his place. It's time Dean learned his.
Dean thinks that Castiel can read his mind, and Castiel doesn't feel the need to correct him on this, though it is not, in the strictest sense, the case. Occasionally slip in to dreams, perhaps, but he cannot read what is going on in a mortal mind, in their heart of hearts. That is for God alone to know and judge.
Castiel can, however, glean what humans are feeling and make an educated guess, depending on how strong the emotion is, and Dean… Dean is a pulsing cloud of emotion, forever open for Castiel to read like a book. There is a corner of his mind where Castiel marvels at how Dean could survive his time in Hell and still feel like he does. But thinking like that is what got Castiel called out of his vessel in the first place, so he suppresses the thought as he rises, finally back in Jimmy's body.
The strongest thing coming from Dean right now is concern. Dean was upset about Castiel, is confused as well, and Castiel's newly instilled resolve momentarily wavers. That Dean was anxious about his fate is just so patently human it's almost absurd, and something akin to affection tugs at Castiel.
But the renewed burn of Heaven's fire fills his heart, and he can look at Jimmy's family and feel not a twinge, despite the vessel's affection for them. Worried curiosity pours off of Dean, and Castiel wonders how much Dean would dare ask in front of the others, but finds he doesn't have to steel himself for the inevitable questions.
"Cas, hold up." As it turns out, Dean only has the one. "What were you gonna tell me?"
"I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean." He can't help but say Dean's name, even now. "I serve Heaven, I don't serve Man. And I certainly don't serve you."
Before, Castiel would have felt that statement unfair, if for no other reason than that, if Dean had ever thought that Castiel served him, it is because Castiel did just about everything in his power to give him that impression.
As Castiel turns, he finds himself anticipating a wave of hurt and confusion to overtake him. He almost stops when it doesn't happen. What he gets instead, as he walks away from Dean, is a sense of... acceptance.
Castiel knows, then, that despite everything, Dean Winchester never expected his loyalty. He'd always known that the point would come when Castiel would turn his back on him. It was what Dean had come to expect from everyone in his life, and Castiel allows himself one intense moment of regret that he can't be the one to prove Dean wrong on that.
But, they all have their parts to play, and Castiel remembers his place. It's time Dean learned his.
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Date: 2009-06-15 12:52 am (UTC)