SPN nonsense: Dean wakes up a dog...
Jul. 29th, 2009 08:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
errant_janeI have been in a fairly foul mood the past couple of days for various reasons. Mostly I blame hormones. Anyway, generally I am able to amuse myself fairly easily (I believe my awesome mutant superpower is my ability to keep myself highly entertained most of the time). However, when I am ANGRY BEAR, this becomes less easy to accomplish.
Today, I had to stoop to a ridiculous level to make myself laugh. So I share with you, because I can. Half of this was written in email. The absurdity of the following is inversely proportional to how stompy and rage-filled I was earlier, JSYK!!!
Dean wakes up a dog...
Sam wakes up to the feeling of a cold, wet nose pressed against his arm. When he opens his eyes, he sees some sort of hound dog staring at him. He looks over at the bed across from his, which is empty, then back at the dog.
"Dean?"
The dog barks and licks Sam's arm.
"Really?" Sam asks.
The dog-- Dean-- licks his chops and wags his tail.
Sam sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "Our lives aren't like other peoples' lives."
Dean barks his agreement.
***
It gets awkward almost immediately when Dean sits down and starts to groom himself. Sam clears his throat and Dean stops mid-lick to give him an irritated look. Gets up and trots into the bathroom, nudging the door closed with his nose.
"I was going to take a shower," Sam informs him. He wonders how long it's going to take Dean to realize that he just shut the door and has no way of getting out.
Laughs when he hears Dean scratching at the door. He lets him sweat it for a moment before letting him out.
"Serves you right for being a bathroom hog," Sam tells him. It is less funny when he goes in the bathroom and sees what Dean did on the floor. "Really, man? You were right by the toilet."
Dean pants and wiggles happily.
"Whatever, dude. You suck."
***
Their next clash comes at the pet store, where Sam stops for a collar and a leash.
Dean actually growls at him.
"There are leash laws, Dean. It's this or we go back to the hotel and I lock you in the room." He narrows his eyes at the look in Dean's and amends, "In the bathroom. You are not getting a chance to do anything to my stuff."
Sam takes the "hrumph" sound Dean makes as submission and hooks the collar on him, then clicks the leash in place.
"I also got you food. Yeah, okay, look. I know what you're gonna say, but I don't know how long you'll be like this, and if I get you a bunch of cheeseburgers and pie... Whatever, I'm not risking you getting the runs."
Dean makes another disgruntled noise.
"Wanna go for a walk, boy?" Sam asks in an overly jovial tone.
***
As it turns out, the leash was a good call. They're scouting the town when they spot a pretty girl on the street. Dean practically yanks Sam's arm out if its socket trying to get to her.
The girl sees him and coos. Bends over to pet him, giving both of them a good look down her shirt.
Dean tries to hump her leg.
Sam pulls him off and apologizes profusely. The girl laughs awkwardly, says its okay and hurries on her way. Once she's gone, Sam looks at Dean and says, "Please tell me that was your idea of a joke."
Dean doesn't look him in the eye for awhile after that.
***
After an unsuccessful day of investigating, Sam and Dean are back in the motel room, watching TV. Dean is lying on his bed, head resting on his crossed paws, intently watching Meerkat Manor. He barks if Sam even tries to change the channel.
Suddenly, Castiel is there, standing in front of Dean's bed, looking down at him. "Dean," he says in his intense angel voice. "We need to talk."
Upon Castiel's arrival, Dean sits up and starts wagging his tail. He scoots forward, nudges Castiel's hand with his nose and then licks it.
"There's something different about you." Castiel tilts his head and studies Dean as his tail thumps back and forth on the bed.
"He's a dog," Sam finally supplies.
Castiel nods. "That must be it." He scratches behind Dean's ear.
Dean licks his arm and then flops down and rolls onto his back, exposing his belly for Castiel to scratch.
Sam is more than a little embarrassed for him, quite frankly.
"Why is Dean a dog?" Castiel asks Sam as he absently rubs Dean's belly. Dean wiggles on his back, his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.
At least he hasn't started humping Castiel's leg, at any rate.
"I don't know. That's what I'm trying to figure out." Sam sighs. "My best guess is that Dean hit on the wrong girl in the wrong kind of way."
"Would it be acceptable to you, then, if I turned him back into a person now?"
Sam blinks at Castiel. "Uh, yeah. Yes, please. That would be fine."
Castiel moves to place his hand on Dean's doggy head but Sam jumps up to stop him.
"Just a second, I..." Sam pulls the bedspread from the foot of the bed and cover's Dean's lower body with it. "I just really don't want to know," he says when Castiel gives him a questioning look.
A moment later, Dean is back to his original form and Sam can tell that Dean's as glad for the bedspread as he is.
"Dean, we need to talk," Castiel says again.
"Yeah, okay." Dean wipes his hand over his face and looks at Sam. "Our lives aren't like other peoples'."
Sam nods. "Tell me about it."
Today, I had to stoop to a ridiculous level to make myself laugh. So I share with you, because I can. Half of this was written in email. The absurdity of the following is inversely proportional to how stompy and rage-filled I was earlier, JSYK!!!
Dean wakes up a dog...
Sam wakes up to the feeling of a cold, wet nose pressed against his arm. When he opens his eyes, he sees some sort of hound dog staring at him. He looks over at the bed across from his, which is empty, then back at the dog.
"Dean?"
The dog barks and licks Sam's arm.
"Really?" Sam asks.
The dog-- Dean-- licks his chops and wags his tail.
Sam sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "Our lives aren't like other peoples' lives."
Dean barks his agreement.
***
It gets awkward almost immediately when Dean sits down and starts to groom himself. Sam clears his throat and Dean stops mid-lick to give him an irritated look. Gets up and trots into the bathroom, nudging the door closed with his nose.
"I was going to take a shower," Sam informs him. He wonders how long it's going to take Dean to realize that he just shut the door and has no way of getting out.
Laughs when he hears Dean scratching at the door. He lets him sweat it for a moment before letting him out.
"Serves you right for being a bathroom hog," Sam tells him. It is less funny when he goes in the bathroom and sees what Dean did on the floor. "Really, man? You were right by the toilet."
Dean pants and wiggles happily.
"Whatever, dude. You suck."
***
Their next clash comes at the pet store, where Sam stops for a collar and a leash.
Dean actually growls at him.
"There are leash laws, Dean. It's this or we go back to the hotel and I lock you in the room." He narrows his eyes at the look in Dean's and amends, "In the bathroom. You are not getting a chance to do anything to my stuff."
Sam takes the "hrumph" sound Dean makes as submission and hooks the collar on him, then clicks the leash in place.
"I also got you food. Yeah, okay, look. I know what you're gonna say, but I don't know how long you'll be like this, and if I get you a bunch of cheeseburgers and pie... Whatever, I'm not risking you getting the runs."
Dean makes another disgruntled noise.
"Wanna go for a walk, boy?" Sam asks in an overly jovial tone.
***
As it turns out, the leash was a good call. They're scouting the town when they spot a pretty girl on the street. Dean practically yanks Sam's arm out if its socket trying to get to her.
The girl sees him and coos. Bends over to pet him, giving both of them a good look down her shirt.
Dean tries to hump her leg.
Sam pulls him off and apologizes profusely. The girl laughs awkwardly, says its okay and hurries on her way. Once she's gone, Sam looks at Dean and says, "Please tell me that was your idea of a joke."
Dean doesn't look him in the eye for awhile after that.
***
After an unsuccessful day of investigating, Sam and Dean are back in the motel room, watching TV. Dean is lying on his bed, head resting on his crossed paws, intently watching Meerkat Manor. He barks if Sam even tries to change the channel.
Suddenly, Castiel is there, standing in front of Dean's bed, looking down at him. "Dean," he says in his intense angel voice. "We need to talk."
Upon Castiel's arrival, Dean sits up and starts wagging his tail. He scoots forward, nudges Castiel's hand with his nose and then licks it.
"There's something different about you." Castiel tilts his head and studies Dean as his tail thumps back and forth on the bed.
"He's a dog," Sam finally supplies.
Castiel nods. "That must be it." He scratches behind Dean's ear.
Dean licks his arm and then flops down and rolls onto his back, exposing his belly for Castiel to scratch.
Sam is more than a little embarrassed for him, quite frankly.
"Why is Dean a dog?" Castiel asks Sam as he absently rubs Dean's belly. Dean wiggles on his back, his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.
At least he hasn't started humping Castiel's leg, at any rate.
"I don't know. That's what I'm trying to figure out." Sam sighs. "My best guess is that Dean hit on the wrong girl in the wrong kind of way."
"Would it be acceptable to you, then, if I turned him back into a person now?"
Sam blinks at Castiel. "Uh, yeah. Yes, please. That would be fine."
Castiel moves to place his hand on Dean's doggy head but Sam jumps up to stop him.
"Just a second, I..." Sam pulls the bedspread from the foot of the bed and cover's Dean's lower body with it. "I just really don't want to know," he says when Castiel gives him a questioning look.
A moment later, Dean is back to his original form and Sam can tell that Dean's as glad for the bedspread as he is.
"Dean, we need to talk," Castiel says again.
"Yeah, okay." Dean wipes his hand over his face and looks at Sam. "Our lives aren't like other peoples'."
Sam nods. "Tell me about it."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-31 01:31 am (UTC)I'm laughing for two reasons:
1. DEAN AS A DOG. AS A SHAMELESS, NAUGHTY DOG. XD
2. I laugh at myself because I didn't figure out the importance of hound dog until Sam said "My best guess is that Dean hit on the wrong girl in the wrong kind of way." And then, the metaphorical light bulb turned on...
I'm glad you're feeling less stompity...but now it's my turn. *sigh* I completely lost my temper this morning and figured out why 2 hours later. I've heard life sucks that way, sometimes. So if you want, we can (hormonally) rampage together!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-31 01:46 am (UTC)2. Hee!
I was just discussing with the roomie that knowing why you want to scratch everyone's face of does not necessarily negate the urge, so whatever. Brownies do help, however. *grins*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-31 01:55 am (UTC)"He's a dog," Sam finally supplies.
Castiel nods. "That must be it." He scratches behind Dean's ear.
I lol'ed. Oh Castiel, you are so very clueless!
I also love how the boys just sort of roll with it. "Eh, our lives are weird" is totally the appropriate response to getting turned into an entirely different species :)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-31 02:35 am (UTC)Sam will totally mock Dean later.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-31 02:45 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-31 01:57 am (UTC)"Why is Dean a dog?" Castiel asks Sam as he absently rubs Dean's belly. Dean wiggles on his back, his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.
This mental image will doubtlessly make the rest of my week 100% more awesome, kthxbie. I feel this may be yet another JOY TO THE WORLD moment. I have been having a disturbing amount of these lately.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-31 02:40 am (UTC)Is it possible to have a disturbing amounts of JOY TO THE WORLD moments? This seems counter intuitive somehow.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-31 11:38 pm (UTC)Technically it can also be classified as a SINGING!MISHA moment, or a shameless J2 schmoop moment. EITHER WAY IT IS GETTING OUT OF HAND. I SQUEE RANDOMLY AT NOTHING. Oh, the shame.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-31 02:12 am (UTC)Castiel is my favorite part. Hmm, no Sam amending it to 'locked in the bathroom' is my favorite part. You were the only thing that made me laugh this morning because you are the funniest, bestest girl.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-31 02:44 am (UTC)I understand the creme de menthe, but why no porn? Were the internets not working?
Remember when I had awesome jobs where I spent all day just sitting around thinking of things to amuse you?
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-31 04:11 am (UTC)Dean so should have humped Castiel's leg. *snicker* I love them all 'Well, this is weird'...*watches Meercat Manor* ROFLMAO!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-16 11:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-31 08:10 pm (UTC)I - I just - I don't even have words for how awesome and random and hilarious this was.
Dean humping the chick's leg: hilarity.
And CAS, OH CAS. "That must be it." Best. Line. Ever.
BRB LOLING. *dolphin noises!*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-03 02:39 am (UTC)\o/ Thank you!! Cas knew it was something...
(no subject)
Date: 2009-07-31 09:56 pm (UTC)so awesome, especially Cas' reaction to the changes!
thought I wonder what kind of dog Dean turned into... we all know Sam would be a Labrador or a golden retriever... but Dean I'm not sure
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-03 02:51 am (UTC)Hmmm. I think he'd be a redbone coonhound. *grins*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-03 02:58 am (UTC)thought he would be a good cat too with his eyes and predator ways
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-03 05:56 pm (UTC)