errant_jane | Oh, Fandom. You are so very, very crazy!

I've been trying to write more fic for, IDK, three or four days now? But, like many others, I got distracted by wank. So, rather than fight it, I figured I'd just get this out of the way so that I could get back to Misha shenanigans. *pulls on BOFQ boots*

Sometimes I think fandom should come with a guidebook. Plz read the rules before joining the fray. But it doesn't (that I know of) and a lot of people learn in a trial by fire. This is generally not a fun thing.

So, I've been in and around fandom for ten or so years now. I remember the days of yahoo groups and mailing lists. When people would send you feedback in e-mails! And we had to use dial-up to get on the internets! In the snow! BOTH WAYS!!

Anyway, here are some things about fandom I have learned:

BNFs: The mightiest, most fearful and awesome thing in fandom! Or, y'know, fangirls whose names you recognize and are all, "Hey, it's that girl!"

There is a common misconception that BNFs desire to rule fandom with STOMPY BOOTS and IRON FISTS OF BITCHERY. (If you haven't read the Ms Scribe Story, I highly recommend it for the sheer WTFery levels that fandom can reach).

I'm not even going to say that these types of BNFs don't exist. They do. They totally do. There are, in some fandoms, seekrit BNF cabals where they sit around and plot evil deeds in chats and are generally the most vicious and horrible people you could ever have the displeasure of coming across.

The best you can do when you discover these girls is avoid them at all costs. Do not waste your time hating them. It will not affect them in any way. They will continue to be popular and you'll look like a wanker. Also? They're probably super pretty IRL, married with adorable children and lots of money. If you need to tell yourself something, it can be that even with all of that, what they put their energy towards is being hateful on line. Chalk it up to the crazy antics of the universe and move on. Do not let them make your fannish experience miserable by their existence.

THAT BEING SAID, there are many fangirls who are BNFs because they do good art, write amusing/amazing fic and/or meta. Perhaps they joined the fandom on the ground floor and everybody knows who they are because they have been there since the beginning. Also, you recognize all their friends. They rec each other's fic and comment in each other's journal. Sometimes they know each other IRL.

It is very easy to mistake this second type of BNF for the first. They seem cliquey and elitist. But honestly? They are generally not. They're just popular and they've developed friendships outside of what you can see on lj. Some of them are all inclusive and spastic and joyful. Some of the are bitchy and opinionated. Some of them you may like, some of them not so much, but generally speaking, they're not out to rule fandom. It just seems that way because they have an audience.

Here's the thing: You don't have to like everyone in your fandom. There will inevitably be the girl you love and adore and want to draw hearts around who is BFF with the girl you would wish would just FOAD already. There is always that girl. Adore her, ignore her friend. She's super nice and her friend is prolly a RL buddy.

There is another kind of BNF: the one who becomes super-popular super fast, and maybe doesn't realize that now that she is BNF certain things are expected of her. She owes everyone something and gets torn to shreds when she doesn't deliver. (Think JK Rowling vs. Harry/Hermione shippers upon the release of HBP) Generally, these fangirls end up getting burned and locking down tight. Which sucks because they were probably super awesome.

The thing is, fandom creates a very very false sense of intimacy. We share things with the whole of the internet that we might never ever utter to our RL friends. We shower each other with love and adoration and squee about hot boys and ridiculous things, and when it's good, it's the most awesome thing in the world.

Which makes it easy to forget that this isn't a closed community. You don't really know everyone on your fl, and if your journal isn't locked? There's every possibility that there are a ton of lurkers reading what you write, too. And when something like an anonymous hate meme pops up, people who hate you, for whatever reason, will tear you to shreds with absolutely no second thought.

It isn't even worth it to say that these people should be ashamed of themselves. They aren't. Nor is the person who started the meme. And, sadly, with something like that, there is no way of knowing how many people are actually participating. Maybe it's fifteen. Maybe it's three hundred.

But wank is a fandom thing. Hell, it's an internet thing. It just feels more personal in fandom because you consider the people in it your friends. Some of them are, some of them are just crazy. Wank is not fandom specific. There is no non-wanky fandom. "What about fandom X?" you say? Just wait. It'll happen.

The SPN wank is nothing new or revolutionary. It is not even close to the worst I've seen (I'm looking at you SV, HP and Buffy). But the anonymous nature of it spawns some truly vile behavior. At least when we wanked back in the day, our names were attached. The people who are labled wanky now are likely labled so because they, at the very least, own their bullshit. I would that such could be said about everyone. But, whatever.

The best you can do is be aware that fandom takes place on the vast wilds of the internet. Shake off the wank as much as you can and be more careful about who you choose to confide in. "Friends list" is a misnomer. Be aware of this. Don't believe every rumor you hear about the so-called BNFs, but be aware of the ones that have reputations of being backstabbing (which is not the same as being wanky) and tread carefully around them.

Listen to the opinions of people you know and trust and your own interactions with people and disregard anonymous bullshit. Also? If you feel the need to be bitchy about someone (we all do at some time or another, it's okay), do it in a chat with your BFF, or e-mail, even. Maybe not so much in filtered posts. Those have a way of getting out, and next thing you know, you are the new bitchface of fandom.

In conclusion: Fandom can be an awesome and wonderful place. It is a creative community with some truly awesome people hanging around. The best friends I have in my life right now are people I met through fandom and I would not trade them or it for the world.

Unfortunately it sometimes comes with bullshit. Welcome to the internet, fangirls.

Alternate ending-

In conclusion: Cock