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errant_janePrevious
The Fourth of July falls on a Monday and Clare invites everyone up to her family's lake cabin for the weekend. Their group consists of Clare, Misha, Jared, Jensen, Sophia, and Chad. Everyone managed to free up their Tuesday, so the plan is to stay through the fireworks Monday night and drive back Tuesday morning. They arrive at the cabin around lunchtime on Saturday and Jensen laughs at what Clare considers a cabin. He probably would have gone with the term mansion.
"Last one in the water is a pussy!" Chad shouts, hopping from Misha's VW bus and jogging down to the pier, shucking his shirt about halfway.
"Anyone bother to mention that the water isn't exactly warm?" Jensen asks out of curiosity.
"Boy's gotta learn sometime." Jared's drawl is followed by a splash and Chad's outraged shriek.
"Not too late to go lesbian, Soph." Jensen grabs his bag from the car and then a few of the grocery bags as Misha pulls the cooler out.
"Fuck you, Ackles." Sophia says it more out of habit than any particular need she might feel to defend her boyfriend.
By the time Chad makes it back up to the house, wet and shivering and dripping everywhere, they've got the car unloaded and the food in the fridge.
"I hate you all. Where is my towel?"
Jensen looks at Chad and smirks. "You still have your sneakers on."
"Here's your towel, baby." Sophia wraps the towel around Chad's shoulders and steers him away from Jensen before he has a chance to reply.
Jared, Chad and Misha head back down to the water as soon as Misha and Jared have changed into their trunks. Jensen chooses to linger on the deck with the girls rather than subject himself to the icy cold water. He chucks his sunblock at Clare and says, "Get my back."
Clare eyes the SPF and laughs. "Think this is high enough, princess?"
"Fuck you. When I'm fifty I'll still be pretty and you'll be all dried up and wrinkly. Just wait."
"Now there is a glorious sight." Sophia nods down to the dock where Jared is climbing out of the lake. His black swim shorts hang low on his hips, clinging to his ass as he runs and does a cannonball into the water.
"Mmmm," Clare hums in agreement and Jensen snorts.
"You don't agree?" Sophia gives him a wry look.
"Oh, no." Jensen watches as Jared's head disappears under the water. He pops up a moment later in front of the ladder and climbs out again. "Jared is definitely easy on the eyes."
They all watch in appreciation as the water runs down Jared's body, tracing the contours of his muscles like he's shooting a cologne ad or something.
A sudden breeze hits them, making the hairs on Jensen's arms rise. He clears his throat and looks away. "Clare, do my back so we can actually go sit in the sun."
Once he's got a coat of sunscreen on, he returns the favor, getting both Clare and Sophia's backs and they head down to the dock.
"Chad, what has happened here," Misha says from the water as Clare and Sophia settle down on their towels, "Is that while we are freezing our balls off, Jensen has been busy feeling up our girlfriends."
"Yes." Jensen squints against the sun and considers going back for his sunglasses as he smiles down at the idiots in the water. "My master plan is working. Soon all the girls will be mine."
Jared laughs as he hauls himself onto the dock again. He's like a little kid with all the running and jumping. "Come on in, Jensen. The water's fine."
"I think I'm good. Jared." Jensen's smile fades as he notices the look in Jared's eyes. "Don't even—"
The rest of his statement is lost as Jared runs at him, catching him around the waist and barreling them both into the lake. Jensen hits nearly flat on his back, both the smack of the water and the sudden cold knocking the air out of his lungs. When he makes it to the surface again, he's gasping for breath.
"Hate you so much," he manages as Jared swims up next to him.
"Not true." Jared wraps his arms around Jensen from behind and cups his hands over his chest, his legs brushing against Jensen's as they tread water. "You lost your bikini top," he whispers and then tweaks Jensen's nipples. He makes a satisfying oomf sound when Jensen elbows him in the stomach.
Jensen swims toward the ladder, fully intending to flop down on his towel and stretch out.
"Come on, Jen," Jared whines. "You're already in. The worst is over. Stay and play!"
"I hate you all." Jensen can hear Misha snickering when he pushes away from the dock again.
"That's what I said!" Chad shouts and Jensen nods, acknowledging their moment of solidarity as he swims back out to where Jared is.
When Jensen reaches Jared, he stops and fixes him with his most disapproving frown. "You remember we live together, right?"
Jared flashes a grin, raises his hand from the water and makes a bring it motion with his fingers. "What ever retribution you may exact in the future, victory is mine on this day."
Jensen tries to answer that by dunking Jared, but Jared is all hard muscle and wet, slippery skin underneath his hands and he only manages to get a face full of water for his efforts.
"Are they fucking kidding me with this?" Chad asks. Jared shoves Jensen under the water before he can make out Misha's reply.
After an hour or so, everyone gets hungry and they get out of the water for sandwiches and beer. When lunch is over, Jensen chooses to remain on the dock with the girls rather than going back into the water now that he is all dry and toasty. He has a book with him, but he ends up falling asleep, stretched out on his stomach, his head pillowed on his arms.
"Jensen. Wake up."
"Fuck." Jensen hisses and rolls away from the cold thing poking him in the side. It turns out to be Jared's toe. "What?"
Jared is standing over him, still dripping. He frowns and says, "Maybe you should put a shirt on. You're looking a little pink."
"I'm fine," Jensen says, but when he looks at his shoulders, he sees that Jared is right. "Fuck." He pushes up to stand, grabbing up his towel. "Alright, I'm going inside." He's a little pink right now. If he stays out any longer, he'll be lobster red. He heads up to take a shower once he gets in the house.
The room that Jared and Jensen are in has a bathroom and twin beds. Clare and Misha are in the master downstairs and Chad and Sophia are on the pull-out couch in the family room. It's a nice set-up, though he really wishes the beds were bigger. Neither he nor Jared fit comfortably on a standard twin.
When Jensen goes downstairs, showered and dressed, everyone else is inside getting stuff around for dinner. They have frozen lasagna for the first night and various meats for cooking out the rest of the weekend.
"Hey, Clare, do you have any aloe?" Jensen lifts the collar of his shirt to check his shoulders. They aren't too bad. Luckily his nap took place fairly late in the day.
"Uh, there might be some in the bathroom."
Jensen finds a mostly-full bottle of yellow Banana Boat After Sun lotion and brings it back out into the living room. "Who wants to do me?"
"Who doesn't?" Sophia leers at him playfully.
"Jared," Chad says at the same time, not looking up from the TV. "What?" he asks when Sophia smacks the back of his head. He looks over at Jensen holding up the lotion and shrugs. "My answer stands."
"I just set 'em up and you knock 'em down." Jensen takes off his shirt and tosses the bottle to Jared as he walks in the room. "You've been volunteered."
"Lucky me." Jared squirts some lotion in his hand and then places his hand against the middle of Jensen's back, squishing the cold blob of lotion against his skin.
Jensen sucks in a breath and says, "Dick," as Jared laughs.
"I didn't realize you were such a delicate flower." Jared smoothes the lotion over Jensen's sunburned skin with quick, even strokes and then slaps him hard on the back when he's done.
"Sleep with one eye open," Jensen tells him as he pulls his shirt back on.
By the time they're done eating and cleaning up from dinner, everyone is pretty beat. Jensen heads up, intending to read a little before he goes to bed. Jared follows a few minutes later, pulling out his book and flopping down on his own bed without saying a word. When Jensen looks over half an hour later, Jared is fast asleep, his book on his chest.
"Hey, man." Jensen reaches across the space between their beds and smacks Jared on the leg. "Maybe you should just go to bed."
"Mmm. Yeah." Jared stands up, rubbing his eyes as he heads into the bathroom.
Jensen can hear him brushing his teeth and when he comes back out, he has a weird expression on his face. Amused horror, if Jensen had to guess.
"Were you aware that the vent in the bathroom is directly over Misha and Clare's room?"
"You got an earful?" Jensen guesses.
"They aren't exactly being quiet." Jared catches his eye and laughs, rubbing his hand over his chin. "Awkward."
"Sorry." Jensen grins and shrugs. "At least Chad and Sophia aren't in there with them?"
"Thought hadn't crossed my mind, man. Thanks." Jared sits back down on his bed and gives Jensen a sidelong look. "So, just out of curiosity, did you ever? Y'know?"
"With Misha and Clare?" Jensen laughs. "No. I, uh. No. I try not to make a habit of fucking my friends."
"No roommates or friends? Man you're really limiting yourself there." Jared raises his eyebrows and smiles.
"Yeah, yeah, I really have to keep it narrowed down to everyone else." Jensen rubs his neck and looks away, laughing at himself. When he looks back up, Jared's smile has faded a little and he looks hesitant. Thoughtful, maybe. Something that makes Jensen's stomach do a little flip. He swallows and sits up a little straighter. "Jared..."
Jared blinks and shakes his head. "Hmm? Sorry. Little more out of it than I thought." His mouth quirks back up, sweet and easy as he swings his legs up onto the bed and under the covers. "Tubing tomorrow, dude. Should be awesome."
"Totally, man. Killer." Jensen throws up a hang loose sign and Jared rolls his eyes and flips him off.
Jensen gets up to brush his teeth, as quickly as possible because Jared wasn't kidding about the vent. When he comes back into the room, Jared is dead to the world, even with the light from the lamp shining directly on his face. Jensen switches it off and crawls into bed. His feet only hang over the end by a little and he manages to fall asleep without too much trouble.
The room is empty when Jensen wakes up in the morning, though he can't hear anyone else up and moving around. He gets up, pisses and brushes his teeth and heads downstairs.
Chad and Sophia are still passed out on the couch and the door to Clare and Misha's room is shut. Jensen finds Jared in the kitchen making eggs and bacon. He wraps his arms around Jared's waist and rests his forehead against his shoulder.
"You know, I've noticed that your affection increases exponentially in situations that involve bacon," Jared says.
"Don't try and confuse me with your words." Jensen headbutts him lightly and moves away. "I haven't had coffee yet." He grabs a mug out of the cupboard above the sink and pours a cup. He loves it when Jared wakes up first.
There's a clear space on the counter across from the stove, so Jensen hops up to sit there as Jared finishes making them breakfast. "So I had this dream where I was driving Sophia's car along some dark mountain road and I saw something move in the headlights, so I pulled over to see what it was. Turned out to be a white bunny giving birth in the middle of the road."
Jared turns around to look at him at that. "A white bunny?"
Jensen takes a sip of his coffee and nods. "So there were, like, all these little baby bunnies there. They were adorable. And then I had to call Sophia and tell her to meet me there because we had to take care of the baby bunnies and make sure they were okay."
"But you had her car."
"She was driving Chad's." Jensen shrugs. "I had to call her on a pay phone in a gas station parking lot."
"That's an adorable dream, Jensen. I'm not sure what to do with that." Jared pulls the pans off the heat and turns to face him completely. "Baby bunnies? Who knew you were such a softie?"
"Fuck you, I have layers," Jensen tells him.
Jared grins. "I had a dream about dragons. Like, we lived in this post-apocalyptic world that was terrorized by flying dragons. And once one of them spotted you, they would hunt you down until they killed you. So you couldn't really go out in the open or anything because the dragons would get you."
"Sounds awesome."
"Actually, it was a pretty horrible dream while it was happening." Jared shrugs. "It'd make a cool story, though."
"Like Reign of Fire?" Jensen asks.
"Cooler than that, asshole."
Before Jensen can respond, Clare stumbles into the kitchen, half-asleep still. She looks at the coffee pot and then to the pans full of breakfast food, then from Jensen to Jared and back again.
"Jared," Jensen says.
"What?" Jared asks, then makes a noise of surprise as Clare wraps herself around him, thumping her head against his chest and smiling dreamily.
"I keep you for always," she says.
"Clare's not a morning person." Jensen takes another sip of his coffee. "You can't have him, Clare. He's mine."
She opens her eyes long enough to glare at Jensen.
"Don't think I won't fight you," he says as Misha walks into the kitchen.
Misha looks at the coffee, the food, Clare still clinging to Jared and then at Jensen. "Okay, I'm all caught up." He pulls two mugs out of the cupboard.
"I don't understand what's happening." Jared pats Clare's head awkwardly until Misha lures her away with the coffee he's poured for her.
Jensen snorts. "You think my affection increases exponentially with the application of bacon."
They spend the entire weekend out on the lake, swimming and tubing, enjoying the surprisingly cooperative weather. There are some clouds in the sky, but overall it's pretty sunny and beautiful. Which means that, despite the liberal application of sunscreen, by the time they start dinner Monday evening, Jensen's shoulders and back are definitely a nice shade of red.
"How are you from Texas?" Clare asks as she rubs the After Sun lotion on Jensen's back.
"I spend all my time in an office." Jensen shrugs under her hands. "I'm no longer used to this thing called sunshine." He nods at where Misha and Jared are standing at the grill, arguing about the best way to do the burgers. "Is that fight really happening right now?"
"They're being manly."
"They're being idiots." Jensen pulls his shirt back on and walks over to them, grabbing the spatula from Misha's hand and taking over grilling duties while Chad, in a surprisingly helpful turn of events, gets the rest of the food ready and grabs the dishes they'll need.
Everyone is fairly subdued as they eat. Between the water, the sunshine and the copious amounts of beer they've all consumed, Jensen thinks they'll be lucky to make it to the fireworks.
After dinner, Jensen goes upstairs to change into his jeans. With the sun down, the air seems freezing against his burnt skin, so he pulls on his old Huskies Rose Bowl hoodie as well.
He grabs a beer on his way back outside and claims the big wood deck chair that he and Jared have been fighting over all weekend as Jared is busy fulfilling his dish duty. Chad, having helped with dinner, is in the chair next to him listening to his ipod. The girls are at the table chatting about something that Jensen can't quite make out, but he's pretty content at the moment to sit there and listen to the sound of their voices and drink his beer.
It's fully dark by the time Misha and Jared are done with the dinner clean-up. There's a breeze blowing, strong enough that Jensen can feel it through his sweatshirt. He's cold, but he's gotten enough crap about his delicate ivory skin that he's not about to admit it to anyone. Instead he gets up to go to the bathroom, which is really just an excuse to warm up a little. He deposits his empty bottle in the recycling bin on the way inside and grabs another beer on his way out, only to find Jared sitting in his chair.
"I was there first, fucker." He kicks Jared's leg in an attempt to get him to vacate. Jared is still wearing shorts and flip-flops and he doesn't seem cold at all.
"You got up." Jared blinks up at him innocently. "I didn't know you were coming back."
"Well here I am. So move."
"No. Just sit." Jared grins like a cocky asshole and pats his lap.
Jensen rolls his eyes and is about to find somewhere else to go, but then he thinks, if Jared is going to be a little bitch, he deserves to have the circulation to his legs cut off. He kicks Jared's ankle again and then turns and sits down on his boney knees.
Jared laughs and hooks his arm around Jensen's waist, pulling him back. "Relax."
"You suck," Jensen tells him, but he leans back against Jared's chest anyway. It's warm and it blocks the wind and ends up being surprisingly comfortable. Jensen takes a long swig of his beer as Jared hooks his chin over Jensen's shoulder.
"Warm enough?" The question actually seems sincere, as does Jared's expression when Jensen looks at him.
"Yeah," Jensen says finally, huffing out a breath of amusement. "Your legs are going to be dead in about three minutes, though."
"Nah." Jared wiggles them. "I'm good."
Misha is on the bench against the house with Clare stretched out next to him, her head in his lap. Chad is sitting on the table with Sophia on the bench between his legs. Nobody is paying them any attention.
"You just wanted someone to cuddle, didn't you?" Jensen looks back at Jared and grins.
"I do enjoy a good cuddle. Chad refused to sit in my lap, though."
"I'm your second choice after Chad?" Jensen moves like he's going to get up and Jared's arm tightens around him.
"Naw. You know you're always my first choice, baby," Jared says all low and smarmy.
"I've heard that before, you dog." Jensen sighs deeply. He feels incredibly content as Jared's warmth seeps into him. Like he could fall asleep right there, full of food and beer and hours spent in the sun. It's been a good weekend overall.
The fireworks start a few minutes later. They can hear the strains of music over the water when the wind is blowing in the right direction. Jensen's never found his enjoyment of fireworks dependent on music, though, so he doesn't really mind. He likes the flashes of color, the cool designs, the delayed pop pop pop that he can feel in his chest and the smoke skeletons that are left behind to drift on the wind. It all makes him feel like a little kid again, that sort of easy, uncomplicated pleasure that becomes so hard to find as an adult.
"We should go to Disney World sometime," Jared says quietly.
Jensen looks over to find Jared watching him. "Yeah?"
Jared nods. "They have awesome fireworks."
"Seems a long way to go for fireworks."
"There's other stuff there too, assface." Jared squeezes him a little. "It's fucking Disney World. Don't tell me you've never been."
"We went to Disneyland when I was a kid." Jensen shrugs. "I remember the Electric Light Parade."
"Dude. Not the same." Jared shakes his head, his hair tickling against the side of Jensen's neck. "Okay, when I'm done with grad school, we're totally taking a trip to Disney World to celebrate." He says it decisively.
For whatever reason, Jensen feels delighted by the idea. "Yeah, alright. We should be able to plan a Disney vacation in that amount of time."
"Yeah?" Jared sounds surprised by Jensen's answer. He bounces his legs for a moment before stilling them again. "Awesome!"
"Awesome," Jensen agrees.
The beginning of Fall Quarter is something Jensen both dreads and welcomes. He likes the change of season, the bustle around campus, but it's always a busy time of year for him. He's in the middle of arranging travel plans for a business trip Sam has to take when his cell phone rings. His sister's name pops up on the screen and Jensen feels a spike of panic. Mackenzie rarely calls him ever, let alone in the middle of the day.
"Mack?" he answers.
"Hey, Jensen. I only have a minute." She sounds like she's in the middle of a crowd and Jensen guesses she's probably back at school already.
"Okay. Is everything alright? Mom and dad?"
"Fine. Look. Okay, I don't know how to say this. You know I love you, right?"
"Jesus, Mackenzie." Jensen runs his hand through his hair. "Would you just spit it out?"
"You're an asshole."
That's something Jensen was not expecting. "I'm sorry?"
"I love you but you're an asshole and I know that when Mom calls to see if you're coming home for the holidays you're going to say no." She pauses. "Am I wrong?"
"Um." Jensen rubs the back of his neck. "I don't know. I hadn't really—"
"Cut the bullshit. I'm sure it's fine for you because you're not the one who has to look at Mom's face while she tries to explain away the fact that you're an unmitigated asshole to the rest of the family. But I do and I swear to God." Mackenzie takes a deep breath. "Okay. She's going to call you and suggest that we come up there for Thanksgiving this year. Josh is spending it with the in-laws, so it's just me, her and Dad."
"Here?" Jensen asks, looking around his office.
"What you are going to do, dear brother, is act absofuckinglutely delighted by the prospect."
"Did you go back to school or join the Navy?" Jensen asks. "When did your language get so foul?"
"I'm serious, Jensen. Whatever your damage is, whatever you think they did, I don't care. If Mom is not convinced that you're over the moon about us coming to see you, I will hunt you down and do terrible things. Are we clear?"
"I don't." Jensen swallows and takes a deep breath. "I don't think they did anything, Mack."
Mackenzie huffs out a breath and is silent for a long moment before saying, "Then why don't you talk to us anymore?"
Jensen doesn't really have a good answer for that.
"Mom cried last Christmas. You made Mom cry and—Look, I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but you should. They don't deserve this and they're not going to keep trying forever."
"I'm sorry," Jensen says quietly. "I didn't know."
"That your family loves you? It's inexplicable, right? Obviously some sort of genetic thing at work, because it's certainly not your sparkling personality." When she speaks again, her voice is softer. "The gay thing always mattered to you more than anyone else. You never even gave us a chance."
Jensen wipes his hand over his face, unsure of what to say. "It would be great if you guys could come here for Thanksgiving," he finally manages.
"Excellent. Now, if you could not sound like you're about to cry when Mom calls, it'll be perfect," Mackenzie says perkily.
"Thanks." Jensen forces out a laugh. "Seriously, I'll. I will."
"Good. I do love you, you know. You're just kind of stupid sometimes."
"I love you, too," Jensen tells her.
After extracting three more promises from him that he will not fuck this up, Mackenzie says, "I'll see you in a couple months!" and hangs up on him.
The conversation is still rolling over in his mind at lunch when Jared stops by the office to see him.
"What's going on?" Jared asks after he gets a good look at Jensen's face.
"Uh, my baby sister called this morning and tore me a new one for being a major fuck-up of a son." Jensen tries for a smile. "My family is coming up for Thanksgiving!"
"Huh." Jared considers this for a minute. "I was planning on going home, but I can stay here if you want? Help run interference if things get too intense?"
"You don't have to."
Jared rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I know. But do you want me to?"
Jensen looks up at him and bites his lip. "How much of a bitch would I be if I said yes?"
"Oh, the biggest bitch in all the land, obviously." He jerks his head toward the door and says, "I have an hour. Let's go get some teriyaki."
The week leading up to Thanksgiving has Jensen as tense as he can remember being. He cleans the house and then cleans it again. On Monday he snaps at Jared for leaving his plate in the sink at which point Jared sends him to the grocery store with a list of things they need and a warning to not return for at least an hour.
Jensen feels properly sheepish by the time he gets back because Jared is missing his own family's Thanksgiving to help Jensen out. He apologizes until Jared throws his hands up in exasperation.
"Dude, you need to chill the fuck out right now or I will strangle you and that's not really the first impression I want your parents to have of me."
"Sorry." Jared shoots him a look and Jensen says, "Sorry," again and laughs. "Oh God. I don't know what's wrong with me."
Jared pulls him into a hug and kisses his temple. "It'll be fine. They're coming here because they want to see you."
"Yeah, I know." Jensen returns the hug and leans against Jared for a moment before pulling away. "I'm fine, I promise."
"Sure." Jared sounds skeptical and he refrains from calling Jensen on the three more episodes he has before it's time to go pick them up on Wednesday.
Jensen borrows Misha's van because he's enough of a coward that he wants Jared to go to the airport with him and it's big enough to hold everyone as well as the luggage. They park in the garage and go to wait by the baggage claim. The flight is a little bit early, so they only have a few minutes to wait until Jensen spots his family walking towards them.
For some reason, once he sees them, Jensen is hit with a wave of homesickness and the smile that spreads across his face is completely genuine. "Hi! Hey, Momma," he says as he pulls her into a hug. It's been a few years since Josh's wedding and his mom seems to have shrunk since then.
"Lord, you've gotten big," she says when she steps back.
"I guess." Jensen smiles bigger and hugs his dad and then his sister. "You look all grown up, brat."
Mackenzie grins and punches him hard on the shoulder. He gives her an offended look as he rubs his arm, but he figures he probably deserved that, so he lets it go without further comment.
"Hey, so this is my roommate," Jensen says, motioning Jared forward. "Jared, family. Family, Jared."
"Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Ackles." Jared politely shakes their hands and turns to Mackenzie. "Sister Ackles."
"I see Jensen has finally perfected the art of the useless introduction." Mackenzie shakes Jared's hand and beams up at him. Jared winks at her and laughs.
"Yes, well." Jensen looks between his sister and Jared and frowns. "Let's see about luggage."
"I think it's this carousel." Jared turns to lead the way and Mackenzie holds Jensen back to let their parents go in front of them.
"Hot," she whispers.
"Gay," he whispers back.
"Oh really?" She arches an eyebrow at him.
"And my roommate and best friend and that's all."
"What, not good enough for you?" She has the gall to look disappointed in him.
Jensen looks back up at where Jared is standing at the carousel, chatting easily with his parents like they're all old friends. "Hardly. It's just not like that, okay?"
Mackenzie purses her lips and says, "This conversation is not over." She walks away from him to join their parents and Jared.
"So says you," Jensen mutters, following after her.
It's amazing to Jensen how easy it is to settle back into old routines, and it makes him very aware of how much of the strain in their relationship was coming from him. Once they get to the house, he gets his parents set up in his bedroom as he fills them in on everything that's been going on over the past few months.
His mom nods and makes "I'm listening" sounds as she looks around. She stops to examine a picture on the wall, and it takes Jensen a moment to remember what it is when she asks, "Is this one of yours, Jensen?"
"Uh, yeah, I took that. It's a place in Ballard." The picture isn't anything fancy, just a little bit of road and train tracks and trees, but it's aesthetically cool. "We could go over there while you guys are here. It's a neat neighborhood."
"Sure." She smiles and nods before walking over to the bed to help his dad unpack some of their stuff. "Are you still taking pictures?" she asks as she pulls out her bathroom bag. "You always had such an eye for it."
"A little bit," Jensen hedges. It's such a Mom thing for her to say—Jensen could be any age right now, feeling proud of himself that his momma liked something he made, and his chest aches a little to think about it. He doesn't want to disappoint her by admitting he hasn't picked up his camera in over a year. "I'm gonna go see if Mack needs anything." He ducks out of the room before she can respond.
After everyone has had a chance to freshen up, Jensen tells them that Misha and Clare invited them over for dinner. "If that's okay? They're going to Clare's parents for Thanksgiving, but they wanted to meet y'all."
"Of course that's okay," his mom says. "I'd love to meet them."
Jensen made them both swear up and down that they would behave before he accepted the invitation, but he's still a little nervous about it as they drive over. As it turns out, it's completely unnecessary. Misha is at his most charming and Clare is as sweet as Jensen's ever seen her. Between them and Jared, Jensen is feeling an overwhelming amount of love and affection for his friends by the end of the night.
"Thank you guys," Jensen says sincerely as he hands Misha's keys back over to him. Everyone else is waiting outside. It's a little chilly, but it's not too far back to the house and everyone is okay with walking. "Seriously."
"Who loves you, gorgeous?" Clare asks, going up on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek. "I'm glad they came."
"Yeah." Jensen nods. "Yeah, me too."
Jared bumps against his shoulder on the walk home and smiles at him. Told you so, he mouths and Jensen smiles back and shakes his head.
His mom and dad go to get ready for bed as soon as they get back home. "We're two hours ahead of you, remember?" his mom asks. "And I need to be up early tomorrow if we're going to eat at a decent hour."
"I told you Jared and I can cook, Momma. You don't have to come here and do work you know." Logically, Jensen knows that this is a pointless argument, but he feels the need to make it anyway.
"I want to. You're not going to deny me the privilege of making Thanksgiving dinner for my family, are you?"
"Trick question," his dad calls from the bathroom.
Jensen throws his hands up in mock surrender.
"You have everything you need out of your room?" She smiles when Jensen nods. "Okay, I guess I'll head up then."
She turns to walk out of the kitchen and, before he really thinks about it, Jensen reaches out to stop her. When she gives him a confused look Jensen feels a little stupid.
"Hug?" he says, rubbing the back of his neck. He relaxes at the smile she gives him and bends down to hug her. "Goodnight. Sleep well."
"Goodnight, baby." She kisses his cheek and then turns to go upstairs, stopping to say goodnight to Jared and Mackenzie, who are on the couch watching The Little Mermaid.
His dad follows a few minutes later with a clap on the shoulder and a gruff, "'Night, Son."
Jensen goes to take out his contacts and wash his face before wandering into the living room to watch the rest of the movie. He sits down on the floor with one of the big throw pillows at his back and his head resting against Jared's knee.
Jared reaches down and taps his fingers against the top of Jensen's head and the spreads them out slowly. "Crackin' an egg," he whispers.
"God, you're lame."
Mackenzie shushes them both. "This is my favorite part."
It's the Under the Sea song and Jensen remembers that Mackenzie had the soundtrack when she was little. She would play that song over and over, dancing around the house singing along and driving everyone else crazy. He smiles and closes his eyes.
"Bedtime," Jared says, shaking Jensen awake.
"Aw, man. Did I miss the ending?" Jensen rubs his eyes under his glasses and yawns. "What happened?"
"I'm not going to tell," Mackenzie says in her snottiest voice. "You just have to live not knowing."
"Can't tell you two are siblings at all." Jared stands and heads toward the bathroom.
"Alright, Mack, you good on the couch?" Jensen has blankets and sheets and pillows all set up for her. It's a comfortable couch, so he doesn't feel too bad about sticking her there. There's not really anywhere else to put her.
"I'm good. Where are you going to be?"
"I have the air mattress up in Jared's room," Jensen says distractedly, looking around to see if she needs anything else.
"Oh yeah?"
Jensen looks at her and rolls his eyes. "Jesus, Mack. Don't be weird about this, please." He glances back at the bathroom and lowers his voice. "I would tell you if there was something going on there, okay?"
"Jensen, are you—" She stares at him for a moment and then shakes her head, laughing. "Yeah, okay. Whatever."
Jared walks back into the room before Jensen can ask what that's supposed to mean and he decides to just let it go. He goes to brush his teeth and Mackenzie follows him.
"I have to brush my teeth, too," she says when he gives her a look.
It makes Jensen feel like he's fifteen again, battling his sister at the sink as they both try and get ready for bed at the same time. He kicks her out so that he can pee and leaves the toilet seat up just to be annoying.
She sticks her tongue out at him when he walks out and says, "Goodnight, bratface."
He's still smiling when he walks into Jared's room.
"Not quite the disaster you were expecting, huh?" Jared asks. He's sitting up in bed reading. Something for school, Jensen assumes from the pink highlighter tucked behind his ear. The book is in his lap, though, so Jensen can't tell what it is.
"Yeah, yeah. You were right. Aren't you so smug?" Jensen shucks his jeans and pulls on the pajama pants that he threw in there earlier. It's a little chilly in Jared's room, so he leaves his t-shirt on as he crawls on to the air mattress. It sinks down under his weight until his knees are touching the floor. "Shit. Does this have a leak?" He fully inflated it earlier when he put the sheets on.
Jared looks down at him and frowns. "It might. I think Chad was the last one to use it."
"Now you tell me." Jensen flops onto his back and sighs as his butt sinks down. "Great."
"Dude, my bed is big enough. You can sleep with me."
"Yeah, I know. I just." Jensen sits up and looks at the door, frowning.
"Your parents are going to bust in here and catch us sleeping? Your mom can see through walls? What?" Jared sounds far too amused. "You can leave the mattress there looking slept in if you want. No one else has to know."
"I never did anything in the house, you know," Jensen admits. "I was sure they'd be able to tell somehow. I did some stupid stuff in high school. A lot of stupid stuff. Going places I shouldn't have been. Semi-public fucking." He waves his hand. "But God forbid I ever sneak a boy up to my room, because I didn't want them to be disappointed in me."
"I don't think they're disappointed in you, Jensen," Jared says after a moment. "I kind of got the feeling that your mom already thinks we're dating. She doesn't seem too upset about it."
Jensen chuckles and looks down at his hands. "That figures."
Jared closes his book and sets it on the night table and then the highlighter on top of it and gets out of bed. "I think I still have some packing tape in here somewhere, if we can find the leak, we can patch it up with that. It should hold until tomorrow, anyway."
"Jared." Jensen stands, feeling a little touched that Jared's totally willing to go to that much trouble over something so dumb. "It's not necessary. You're right. I'm being stupid about something that's not a big deal."
"If it makes you that uncomfortable—"
"No, it's fine. Just a knee-jerk, juvenile reaction. It's been awhile since I've been around my family like this, you know?"
"If you're sure." Jared eyes him dubiously and Jensen grins and thumps him on the chest.
"Just don't get handsy in the middle of the night and we'll be fine," he says as he crawls onto the far side of the bed.
"I'll try my best." Jared goes a little overboard with the sarcasm there as far as Jensen's concerned. He gets into bed next to Jensen and turns out the light.
"Hey, Jared." Jensen turns on his side so that he's facing Jared. He can just make out his profile in the dim light coming from Jared's alarm clock.
"Yeah?"
"As far as everyone else goes, I slept on the air mattress?"
Jared snorts. "I'll take it to my grave."
Jensen grins. "You're the best."
"That's true," Jared says around a yawn. "Now go to sleep. We have turkey to eat tomorrow."
"My mom makes good turkey," Jensen whispers and Jared grunts in acknowledgment. Jensen falls asleep feeling both excited and content.
Jensen wakes up warm and happy, his dreams slipping away before he has a chance to remember them. When he opens his eyes, he realizes that he's plastered against Jared's side, his arm across Jared's chest. Jared's arm is curled around Jensen's waist, his other hand resting with his fingers brushing against the crook of Jensen's elbow.
There's really no way for Jensen to extract himself without waking Jared up and when he glances at the clock, he realizes it's still really early in the morning. So he closes his eyes and tucks his head against Jared's shoulder, figuring they'll probably untangle themselves in their sleep, no awkwardness necessary.
When he wakes up again, he's still pressed up against Jared's body, but when he opens his eyes he finds that Jared is awake, quietly reading his book. Jensen groans and rolls onto his back, arching up a little as Jared slides his arm out from under him.
"I'm not sure whether or not I'm surprised that you're a cuddler." Jared grins and looks at him out of the corner of his eyes.
"Sorry." Jensen wipes at his mouth, relieved to find that at least he wasn't drooling all over him.
"It's not like you were humping me. I don't really mind." Jared shrugs. "Of course, you are going to have to make an honest man out of me now."
"Naturally." Jensen stretches and turns back on his side, leaving some space between them. "What time is it?"
"Little after eight. I think your parents are already up."
"Yeah, they would be." Jensen sighs. He's not quite ready to get out of the warm cocoon of blankets yet, but he knows he has to. "I'm sure Mom has already started cooking."
"Guess we should head down then, huh?" Jared shuts his book and sets it aside and climbs out of bed. "Will they mind if I wear my pajamas down there?"
"Yes, we wear formal dress in mixed company," Jensen says sarcastically. "You can stay up here and read for awhile or whatever if you want. You don't have to be on Parent Patrol all weekend."
"Nah, I'm good. I need coffee. I was just waiting for you to wake up."
Jensen can feel himself blush at that. "You could have just woken me up, you know." He slides out of bed and pulls on a pair of socks.
"You looked so sweet. I didn't have the heart." Jared pats Jensen's cheek and then brings his thumb up to squish Jensen's face.
"Fuck you," Jensen says through fish lips. He bats Jared's arm away and glares at him.
Jared holds up his left hand and points. "You know the rules, Ackles. Ring first."
"Don't hold your breath," Jensen says as he walks past Jared and out the door.
"I know you don't mean that," Jared calls after him.
His dad is on the couch with a cup of coffee channel surfing and Mackenzie is curled in the corner with a magazine, looking disgruntled that her sleeping time is over. As predicted, his mom is already in the kitchen pulling things out of the cupboard.
Jensen holds his hand up to her as he passes and goes into the bathroom. He brushes his teeth, but doesn't bother with his contacts yet. When he comes back out, Jared is sitting at the kitchen table working his way through his first cup of coffee.
"She wouldn't let me help," Jared tells him.
"Do you need help, Momma?" Jensen grabs his mug from the dish rack and pours some coffee, but there's only enough left for half a cup. He shoots Jared a dirty look and sets about making another pot.
"No, dear. That's why I brought my girl child along."
"Jensen's like a girl child," Mackenzie calls from the living room.
"And Jensen's been able to cook for himself since he was fifteen," his mom answers back. "You still need the practice."
Jensen pokes his head into the living room and sticks out his tongue. "The menfolk have football to watch, Mack."
"Nice to see sexism is alive and well." Mackenzie pushes off the couch and shuffles into the kitchen.
"We'll set the table and do the dishes," Jensen says.
"I didn't want to watch football anyway."
"Good." Jensen cuts off a piece of the coffee cake he got for breakfast as he waits for the coffee to brew. "Glad that's settled."
Dinner goes off without a hitch, though it's not exactly fancy. They don't have a dining room, but the kitchen table has a leaf they put in the middle so there's room for everyone and it's set with Jensen's Corelle dishes rather than his gran's china. Still, Jensen really can't remember the last time he's had this much fun on a holiday. He missed his mom's cooking.
Jensen and Jared do clean-up as promised and after that's done they watch football and play Scattergories. It's downright Rockwellian.
"It was a good day, right?" Jensen asks when they're back in Jared's room for the night.
"It was a good day." Jared pulls on his pajama pants and grabs a clean t-shirt out of his dresser. "Your family's pretty great."
"Yeah. Yeah, I guess my sister was right to chew me out." Jensen pulls on his own pjs and looks down at the half-deflated air mattress. "I don't know. I guess I just assumed that they would disown me or whatever. So I did it first." He looks over at Jared and narrows his eyes. "How did you turn out to be so well-adjusted?"
"Mom's a teacher. One of those teachers that has this crazy bond with her students." Jared crawls into bed, scooting over to the side Jensen was on before. "So, like, she's had a bunch of students come to her over the years with that sort of stuff. Kids having trouble with their parents or getting kicked out. So she made this big deal when we were all pretty little about being able to talk to her about anything and that she and Dad loved us no matter what." He smiles. "I was still pretty nervous when I told them, but I know I was lucky. I never worried that I couldn't."
"That's cool." Jensen thinks about it, about how different things might have been if he hadn't been too scared to go to his parents before college. Would he still have run away to Seattle, or would he have ended up at UT Austin?
"So, are you gonna hang out there all night?"
Jensen realizes he's been standing there spacing. "Sorry." He gets into bed and turns off the light. Turned on his side how he usually sleeps, he's facing away from Jared tonight. "This a preemptive strike against cuddling?" he asks.
"Yes." Jared shifts behind him and a moment later, his arm wraps around Jensen's waist and pulls Jensen back against him. "You know how I hate your clinginess."
For a moment Jensen tenses, startled by the sudden contact. This is a step beyond his normal comfort zone, even with Jared.
"Sorry, I was just—" Jared starts to pull away, but Jensen grabs his arm.
"No, it's good. Fine." Jensen takes a deep breath and relaxes back against him. If anyone asked, Jensen would swear up and down that there's nothing about a relationship that's worth the headache of dating, but this is something he misses.
"You sure?"
Jensen nods. "So I, uh. I dated this guy right after college. We were together for a couple years and when we broke up I had horrible insomnia. I wasn't used to sleeping alone anymore. Then when I moved in with Sophia, she would come sleep with me when she had bad dreams." He laughs. "I was such an asshole. I kept wanting her to have nightmares so I could get some sleep. I mean, obviously I got over it eventually."
Jared's arm tightens around him for a brief moment, then he relaxes again. "So this guy…"
"It was a long time ago." Jensen's hand is still resting on Jared's arm and it's weird that he would think of Jeff now. He usually doesn't around Jared. They're nothing alike, nor is Jensen's friendship with Jared anything like his relationship with Jeff was at all. But there are moments like this, when Jensen feels completely comfortable, and it's like a sense memory. What it was like to trust someone that much.
The bitch of it is, as shitty as it turned out before, Jensen does trust Jared that much. He was so thrown when they first met, he never had a chance to put up any defenses. Jared slipped right on in to all those vulnerable places and at this point, Jensen doesn't have much of a choice. He either has to trust Jared or stop talking to him completely and Jensen isn't about to give him up. At least Jared isn't in a position to break his heart.
"I don't know what my point was there," Jensen finally says. "I guess just. Sometimes it's nice to have someone to sleep with."
Jared is quiet except for the rustle of sheets as he moves a little closer to Jensen. A second later, Jensen feels the brush of Jared's lips against the nape of his neck and his heart kicks into his throat. Before he can even think of how to react, he hears the sound of his bedroom door opening down the hall and flinches hard, making Jared jump, too.
They both listen as someone walks down the hall, down the stairs. "Bathroom," Jensen guesses, his heart still hammering in his ears. He lays there, tense until he hears them come back up, down the hall and shut the door.
There's a puff of air against Jensen's neck as Jared sighs. "Go to sleep, Jen." Jared's voice doesn't sound anything but tired. He falls asleep a few minutes later, his fingers curling slightly against Jensen's stomach.
It takes Jensen a lot longer to drift off.
It's harder than Jensen thought it would be to see his family off. He takes them to the airport alone and on the ride there, his mom says, "Jared is a good boy."
"He is," Jensen agrees, glancing at her in the rearview mirror. "He's a good friend. A really good friend." He glances back at her again and she looks disappointed. "I would tell you if he were more than that, Momma."
She leans forward and pets his shoulder. "Well, I'm glad you have a friend like him, anyway."
His dad asks him about the Seahawks and the possibility of them going to the Super Bowl this year, effectively changing the subject.
Jensen parks in the garage, despite the fact that he can't walk them past security. When they get their bags all checked, Jensen shoves his hands in his pockets and says, "So, I was thinking. I've been at my job long enough that I have some flexibility with my vacation time now, and I was thinking that I want to try and make it home for Christmas this year."
He feels nervous as he says it, part of him still worrying that they're going to tell him no, he's not welcome. But his mom smiles and pulls him down to kiss his cheek. "It's good to have you back, baby," she whispers before letting him go.
When Jensen goes to hug his sister, he whispers, "I owe you one."
"Yeah you do." She squeezes him tight and lets him go.
"Dad." Jensen holds out his hand to shake and laughs when his dad pulls him into a gruff hug.
With one last round of goodbyes, Jensen tells them to have a good flight and call him when they land. He watches for awhile after they've disappear into the crowd, tucked against the wall, out of the flow of people. Finally he makes it back to the car, feeling unbelievably sad.
Jared has beer and pizza waiting for him when he gets home. Jensen sits down on the couch and sighs. "My family loves you, you know."
"I'm pretty awesome," Jared says around a mouthful of pizza.
"Well that goes without saying." Jensen grins and looks down at his hands. "Thanks for sticking around this weekend."
"Yeah, sure." Jared smiles at him and pats his knee. "Any time, man."
Jared disappears after Thanksgiving in a finals frenzy. Jensen isn't even sure what it is Jared has to do—he can't manage to get him in one place long enough to find that out. Something to do with his TA duties as far as Jensen can tell because occasionally he'll catch Jared wandering around muttering about "fucking undergrads". He figures it's better to just not ask. Instead, he makes sure that the fridge stays stocked with ready-to-eat foods and all the bills are paid on time.
One night, just as Jensen is getting ready to go to bed, there's a knock on his door and a second later, Jared sticks his head in.
"I could've been jacking off, dude," Jensen says, setting his book aside.
"You say that like it's a deterrent." Jared grins. "There's food in the fridge. You've been feeding me."
Jensen laughs. "You just noticed that?"
"I've been preoccupied? I just—Thanks. I appreciate it."
"No problem. Hey," he says as Jared moves to leave. "What are you doing for New Year's?"
"Uh." Jared wrinkles his brow. "I'm still gonna be in Texas."
"Yeah, me too. Do you have plans?"
"Not really. You have something in mind?" Jared looks cautious, but the corners of his mouth are twitching up into a smile already.
"I was thinking maybe we could meet up in Austin. Check out Sixth Street, see some shows."
"Get really trashed?" Jared asks.
"Something like that." Jensen hasn't been to Austin since he was in high school and he thinks it'd be a cool place to visit as an adult.
"Alright." Jared seems to think about it for a moment before he nods. "Yeah, okay. Count me in."
"Cool. I'll do the reservations and stuff. Now go back to your frantic muttering." Jensen waves Jared away and laughs when he flips him off.
Next
The Fourth of July falls on a Monday and Clare invites everyone up to her family's lake cabin for the weekend. Their group consists of Clare, Misha, Jared, Jensen, Sophia, and Chad. Everyone managed to free up their Tuesday, so the plan is to stay through the fireworks Monday night and drive back Tuesday morning. They arrive at the cabin around lunchtime on Saturday and Jensen laughs at what Clare considers a cabin. He probably would have gone with the term mansion.
"Last one in the water is a pussy!" Chad shouts, hopping from Misha's VW bus and jogging down to the pier, shucking his shirt about halfway.
"Anyone bother to mention that the water isn't exactly warm?" Jensen asks out of curiosity.
"Boy's gotta learn sometime." Jared's drawl is followed by a splash and Chad's outraged shriek.
"Not too late to go lesbian, Soph." Jensen grabs his bag from the car and then a few of the grocery bags as Misha pulls the cooler out.
"Fuck you, Ackles." Sophia says it more out of habit than any particular need she might feel to defend her boyfriend.
By the time Chad makes it back up to the house, wet and shivering and dripping everywhere, they've got the car unloaded and the food in the fridge.
"I hate you all. Where is my towel?"
Jensen looks at Chad and smirks. "You still have your sneakers on."
"Here's your towel, baby." Sophia wraps the towel around Chad's shoulders and steers him away from Jensen before he has a chance to reply.
Jared, Chad and Misha head back down to the water as soon as Misha and Jared have changed into their trunks. Jensen chooses to linger on the deck with the girls rather than subject himself to the icy cold water. He chucks his sunblock at Clare and says, "Get my back."
Clare eyes the SPF and laughs. "Think this is high enough, princess?"
"Fuck you. When I'm fifty I'll still be pretty and you'll be all dried up and wrinkly. Just wait."
"Now there is a glorious sight." Sophia nods down to the dock where Jared is climbing out of the lake. His black swim shorts hang low on his hips, clinging to his ass as he runs and does a cannonball into the water.
"Mmmm," Clare hums in agreement and Jensen snorts.
"You don't agree?" Sophia gives him a wry look.
"Oh, no." Jensen watches as Jared's head disappears under the water. He pops up a moment later in front of the ladder and climbs out again. "Jared is definitely easy on the eyes."
They all watch in appreciation as the water runs down Jared's body, tracing the contours of his muscles like he's shooting a cologne ad or something.
A sudden breeze hits them, making the hairs on Jensen's arms rise. He clears his throat and looks away. "Clare, do my back so we can actually go sit in the sun."
Once he's got a coat of sunscreen on, he returns the favor, getting both Clare and Sophia's backs and they head down to the dock.
"Chad, what has happened here," Misha says from the water as Clare and Sophia settle down on their towels, "Is that while we are freezing our balls off, Jensen has been busy feeling up our girlfriends."
"Yes." Jensen squints against the sun and considers going back for his sunglasses as he smiles down at the idiots in the water. "My master plan is working. Soon all the girls will be mine."
Jared laughs as he hauls himself onto the dock again. He's like a little kid with all the running and jumping. "Come on in, Jensen. The water's fine."
"I think I'm good. Jared." Jensen's smile fades as he notices the look in Jared's eyes. "Don't even—"
The rest of his statement is lost as Jared runs at him, catching him around the waist and barreling them both into the lake. Jensen hits nearly flat on his back, both the smack of the water and the sudden cold knocking the air out of his lungs. When he makes it to the surface again, he's gasping for breath.
"Hate you so much," he manages as Jared swims up next to him.
"Not true." Jared wraps his arms around Jensen from behind and cups his hands over his chest, his legs brushing against Jensen's as they tread water. "You lost your bikini top," he whispers and then tweaks Jensen's nipples. He makes a satisfying oomf sound when Jensen elbows him in the stomach.
Jensen swims toward the ladder, fully intending to flop down on his towel and stretch out.
"Come on, Jen," Jared whines. "You're already in. The worst is over. Stay and play!"
"I hate you all." Jensen can hear Misha snickering when he pushes away from the dock again.
"That's what I said!" Chad shouts and Jensen nods, acknowledging their moment of solidarity as he swims back out to where Jared is.
When Jensen reaches Jared, he stops and fixes him with his most disapproving frown. "You remember we live together, right?"
Jared flashes a grin, raises his hand from the water and makes a bring it motion with his fingers. "What ever retribution you may exact in the future, victory is mine on this day."
Jensen tries to answer that by dunking Jared, but Jared is all hard muscle and wet, slippery skin underneath his hands and he only manages to get a face full of water for his efforts.
"Are they fucking kidding me with this?" Chad asks. Jared shoves Jensen under the water before he can make out Misha's reply.
After an hour or so, everyone gets hungry and they get out of the water for sandwiches and beer. When lunch is over, Jensen chooses to remain on the dock with the girls rather than going back into the water now that he is all dry and toasty. He has a book with him, but he ends up falling asleep, stretched out on his stomach, his head pillowed on his arms.
"Jensen. Wake up."
"Fuck." Jensen hisses and rolls away from the cold thing poking him in the side. It turns out to be Jared's toe. "What?"
Jared is standing over him, still dripping. He frowns and says, "Maybe you should put a shirt on. You're looking a little pink."
"I'm fine," Jensen says, but when he looks at his shoulders, he sees that Jared is right. "Fuck." He pushes up to stand, grabbing up his towel. "Alright, I'm going inside." He's a little pink right now. If he stays out any longer, he'll be lobster red. He heads up to take a shower once he gets in the house.
The room that Jared and Jensen are in has a bathroom and twin beds. Clare and Misha are in the master downstairs and Chad and Sophia are on the pull-out couch in the family room. It's a nice set-up, though he really wishes the beds were bigger. Neither he nor Jared fit comfortably on a standard twin.
When Jensen goes downstairs, showered and dressed, everyone else is inside getting stuff around for dinner. They have frozen lasagna for the first night and various meats for cooking out the rest of the weekend.
"Hey, Clare, do you have any aloe?" Jensen lifts the collar of his shirt to check his shoulders. They aren't too bad. Luckily his nap took place fairly late in the day.
"Uh, there might be some in the bathroom."
Jensen finds a mostly-full bottle of yellow Banana Boat After Sun lotion and brings it back out into the living room. "Who wants to do me?"
"Who doesn't?" Sophia leers at him playfully.
"Jared," Chad says at the same time, not looking up from the TV. "What?" he asks when Sophia smacks the back of his head. He looks over at Jensen holding up the lotion and shrugs. "My answer stands."
"I just set 'em up and you knock 'em down." Jensen takes off his shirt and tosses the bottle to Jared as he walks in the room. "You've been volunteered."
"Lucky me." Jared squirts some lotion in his hand and then places his hand against the middle of Jensen's back, squishing the cold blob of lotion against his skin.
Jensen sucks in a breath and says, "Dick," as Jared laughs.
"I didn't realize you were such a delicate flower." Jared smoothes the lotion over Jensen's sunburned skin with quick, even strokes and then slaps him hard on the back when he's done.
"Sleep with one eye open," Jensen tells him as he pulls his shirt back on.
By the time they're done eating and cleaning up from dinner, everyone is pretty beat. Jensen heads up, intending to read a little before he goes to bed. Jared follows a few minutes later, pulling out his book and flopping down on his own bed without saying a word. When Jensen looks over half an hour later, Jared is fast asleep, his book on his chest.
"Hey, man." Jensen reaches across the space between their beds and smacks Jared on the leg. "Maybe you should just go to bed."
"Mmm. Yeah." Jared stands up, rubbing his eyes as he heads into the bathroom.
Jensen can hear him brushing his teeth and when he comes back out, he has a weird expression on his face. Amused horror, if Jensen had to guess.
"Were you aware that the vent in the bathroom is directly over Misha and Clare's room?"
"You got an earful?" Jensen guesses.
"They aren't exactly being quiet." Jared catches his eye and laughs, rubbing his hand over his chin. "Awkward."
"Sorry." Jensen grins and shrugs. "At least Chad and Sophia aren't in there with them?"
"Thought hadn't crossed my mind, man. Thanks." Jared sits back down on his bed and gives Jensen a sidelong look. "So, just out of curiosity, did you ever? Y'know?"
"With Misha and Clare?" Jensen laughs. "No. I, uh. No. I try not to make a habit of fucking my friends."
"No roommates or friends? Man you're really limiting yourself there." Jared raises his eyebrows and smiles.
"Yeah, yeah, I really have to keep it narrowed down to everyone else." Jensen rubs his neck and looks away, laughing at himself. When he looks back up, Jared's smile has faded a little and he looks hesitant. Thoughtful, maybe. Something that makes Jensen's stomach do a little flip. He swallows and sits up a little straighter. "Jared..."
Jared blinks and shakes his head. "Hmm? Sorry. Little more out of it than I thought." His mouth quirks back up, sweet and easy as he swings his legs up onto the bed and under the covers. "Tubing tomorrow, dude. Should be awesome."
"Totally, man. Killer." Jensen throws up a hang loose sign and Jared rolls his eyes and flips him off.
Jensen gets up to brush his teeth, as quickly as possible because Jared wasn't kidding about the vent. When he comes back into the room, Jared is dead to the world, even with the light from the lamp shining directly on his face. Jensen switches it off and crawls into bed. His feet only hang over the end by a little and he manages to fall asleep without too much trouble.
The room is empty when Jensen wakes up in the morning, though he can't hear anyone else up and moving around. He gets up, pisses and brushes his teeth and heads downstairs.
Chad and Sophia are still passed out on the couch and the door to Clare and Misha's room is shut. Jensen finds Jared in the kitchen making eggs and bacon. He wraps his arms around Jared's waist and rests his forehead against his shoulder.
"You know, I've noticed that your affection increases exponentially in situations that involve bacon," Jared says.
"Don't try and confuse me with your words." Jensen headbutts him lightly and moves away. "I haven't had coffee yet." He grabs a mug out of the cupboard above the sink and pours a cup. He loves it when Jared wakes up first.
There's a clear space on the counter across from the stove, so Jensen hops up to sit there as Jared finishes making them breakfast. "So I had this dream where I was driving Sophia's car along some dark mountain road and I saw something move in the headlights, so I pulled over to see what it was. Turned out to be a white bunny giving birth in the middle of the road."
Jared turns around to look at him at that. "A white bunny?"
Jensen takes a sip of his coffee and nods. "So there were, like, all these little baby bunnies there. They were adorable. And then I had to call Sophia and tell her to meet me there because we had to take care of the baby bunnies and make sure they were okay."
"But you had her car."
"She was driving Chad's." Jensen shrugs. "I had to call her on a pay phone in a gas station parking lot."
"That's an adorable dream, Jensen. I'm not sure what to do with that." Jared pulls the pans off the heat and turns to face him completely. "Baby bunnies? Who knew you were such a softie?"
"Fuck you, I have layers," Jensen tells him.
Jared grins. "I had a dream about dragons. Like, we lived in this post-apocalyptic world that was terrorized by flying dragons. And once one of them spotted you, they would hunt you down until they killed you. So you couldn't really go out in the open or anything because the dragons would get you."
"Sounds awesome."
"Actually, it was a pretty horrible dream while it was happening." Jared shrugs. "It'd make a cool story, though."
"Like Reign of Fire?" Jensen asks.
"Cooler than that, asshole."
Before Jensen can respond, Clare stumbles into the kitchen, half-asleep still. She looks at the coffee pot and then to the pans full of breakfast food, then from Jensen to Jared and back again.
"Jared," Jensen says.
"What?" Jared asks, then makes a noise of surprise as Clare wraps herself around him, thumping her head against his chest and smiling dreamily.
"I keep you for always," she says.
"Clare's not a morning person." Jensen takes another sip of his coffee. "You can't have him, Clare. He's mine."
She opens her eyes long enough to glare at Jensen.
"Don't think I won't fight you," he says as Misha walks into the kitchen.
Misha looks at the coffee, the food, Clare still clinging to Jared and then at Jensen. "Okay, I'm all caught up." He pulls two mugs out of the cupboard.
"I don't understand what's happening." Jared pats Clare's head awkwardly until Misha lures her away with the coffee he's poured for her.
Jensen snorts. "You think my affection increases exponentially with the application of bacon."
They spend the entire weekend out on the lake, swimming and tubing, enjoying the surprisingly cooperative weather. There are some clouds in the sky, but overall it's pretty sunny and beautiful. Which means that, despite the liberal application of sunscreen, by the time they start dinner Monday evening, Jensen's shoulders and back are definitely a nice shade of red.
"How are you from Texas?" Clare asks as she rubs the After Sun lotion on Jensen's back.
"I spend all my time in an office." Jensen shrugs under her hands. "I'm no longer used to this thing called sunshine." He nods at where Misha and Jared are standing at the grill, arguing about the best way to do the burgers. "Is that fight really happening right now?"
"They're being manly."
"They're being idiots." Jensen pulls his shirt back on and walks over to them, grabbing the spatula from Misha's hand and taking over grilling duties while Chad, in a surprisingly helpful turn of events, gets the rest of the food ready and grabs the dishes they'll need.
Everyone is fairly subdued as they eat. Between the water, the sunshine and the copious amounts of beer they've all consumed, Jensen thinks they'll be lucky to make it to the fireworks.
After dinner, Jensen goes upstairs to change into his jeans. With the sun down, the air seems freezing against his burnt skin, so he pulls on his old Huskies Rose Bowl hoodie as well.
He grabs a beer on his way back outside and claims the big wood deck chair that he and Jared have been fighting over all weekend as Jared is busy fulfilling his dish duty. Chad, having helped with dinner, is in the chair next to him listening to his ipod. The girls are at the table chatting about something that Jensen can't quite make out, but he's pretty content at the moment to sit there and listen to the sound of their voices and drink his beer.
It's fully dark by the time Misha and Jared are done with the dinner clean-up. There's a breeze blowing, strong enough that Jensen can feel it through his sweatshirt. He's cold, but he's gotten enough crap about his delicate ivory skin that he's not about to admit it to anyone. Instead he gets up to go to the bathroom, which is really just an excuse to warm up a little. He deposits his empty bottle in the recycling bin on the way inside and grabs another beer on his way out, only to find Jared sitting in his chair.
"I was there first, fucker." He kicks Jared's leg in an attempt to get him to vacate. Jared is still wearing shorts and flip-flops and he doesn't seem cold at all.
"You got up." Jared blinks up at him innocently. "I didn't know you were coming back."
"Well here I am. So move."
"No. Just sit." Jared grins like a cocky asshole and pats his lap.
Jensen rolls his eyes and is about to find somewhere else to go, but then he thinks, if Jared is going to be a little bitch, he deserves to have the circulation to his legs cut off. He kicks Jared's ankle again and then turns and sits down on his boney knees.
Jared laughs and hooks his arm around Jensen's waist, pulling him back. "Relax."
"You suck," Jensen tells him, but he leans back against Jared's chest anyway. It's warm and it blocks the wind and ends up being surprisingly comfortable. Jensen takes a long swig of his beer as Jared hooks his chin over Jensen's shoulder.
"Warm enough?" The question actually seems sincere, as does Jared's expression when Jensen looks at him.
"Yeah," Jensen says finally, huffing out a breath of amusement. "Your legs are going to be dead in about three minutes, though."
"Nah." Jared wiggles them. "I'm good."
Misha is on the bench against the house with Clare stretched out next to him, her head in his lap. Chad is sitting on the table with Sophia on the bench between his legs. Nobody is paying them any attention.
"You just wanted someone to cuddle, didn't you?" Jensen looks back at Jared and grins.
"I do enjoy a good cuddle. Chad refused to sit in my lap, though."
"I'm your second choice after Chad?" Jensen moves like he's going to get up and Jared's arm tightens around him.
"Naw. You know you're always my first choice, baby," Jared says all low and smarmy.
"I've heard that before, you dog." Jensen sighs deeply. He feels incredibly content as Jared's warmth seeps into him. Like he could fall asleep right there, full of food and beer and hours spent in the sun. It's been a good weekend overall.
The fireworks start a few minutes later. They can hear the strains of music over the water when the wind is blowing in the right direction. Jensen's never found his enjoyment of fireworks dependent on music, though, so he doesn't really mind. He likes the flashes of color, the cool designs, the delayed pop pop pop that he can feel in his chest and the smoke skeletons that are left behind to drift on the wind. It all makes him feel like a little kid again, that sort of easy, uncomplicated pleasure that becomes so hard to find as an adult.
"We should go to Disney World sometime," Jared says quietly.
Jensen looks over to find Jared watching him. "Yeah?"
Jared nods. "They have awesome fireworks."
"Seems a long way to go for fireworks."
"There's other stuff there too, assface." Jared squeezes him a little. "It's fucking Disney World. Don't tell me you've never been."
"We went to Disneyland when I was a kid." Jensen shrugs. "I remember the Electric Light Parade."
"Dude. Not the same." Jared shakes his head, his hair tickling against the side of Jensen's neck. "Okay, when I'm done with grad school, we're totally taking a trip to Disney World to celebrate." He says it decisively.
For whatever reason, Jensen feels delighted by the idea. "Yeah, alright. We should be able to plan a Disney vacation in that amount of time."
"Yeah?" Jared sounds surprised by Jensen's answer. He bounces his legs for a moment before stilling them again. "Awesome!"
"Awesome," Jensen agrees.
The beginning of Fall Quarter is something Jensen both dreads and welcomes. He likes the change of season, the bustle around campus, but it's always a busy time of year for him. He's in the middle of arranging travel plans for a business trip Sam has to take when his cell phone rings. His sister's name pops up on the screen and Jensen feels a spike of panic. Mackenzie rarely calls him ever, let alone in the middle of the day.
"Mack?" he answers.
"Hey, Jensen. I only have a minute." She sounds like she's in the middle of a crowd and Jensen guesses she's probably back at school already.
"Okay. Is everything alright? Mom and dad?"
"Fine. Look. Okay, I don't know how to say this. You know I love you, right?"
"Jesus, Mackenzie." Jensen runs his hand through his hair. "Would you just spit it out?"
"You're an asshole."
That's something Jensen was not expecting. "I'm sorry?"
"I love you but you're an asshole and I know that when Mom calls to see if you're coming home for the holidays you're going to say no." She pauses. "Am I wrong?"
"Um." Jensen rubs the back of his neck. "I don't know. I hadn't really—"
"Cut the bullshit. I'm sure it's fine for you because you're not the one who has to look at Mom's face while she tries to explain away the fact that you're an unmitigated asshole to the rest of the family. But I do and I swear to God." Mackenzie takes a deep breath. "Okay. She's going to call you and suggest that we come up there for Thanksgiving this year. Josh is spending it with the in-laws, so it's just me, her and Dad."
"Here?" Jensen asks, looking around his office.
"What you are going to do, dear brother, is act absofuckinglutely delighted by the prospect."
"Did you go back to school or join the Navy?" Jensen asks. "When did your language get so foul?"
"I'm serious, Jensen. Whatever your damage is, whatever you think they did, I don't care. If Mom is not convinced that you're over the moon about us coming to see you, I will hunt you down and do terrible things. Are we clear?"
"I don't." Jensen swallows and takes a deep breath. "I don't think they did anything, Mack."
Mackenzie huffs out a breath and is silent for a long moment before saying, "Then why don't you talk to us anymore?"
Jensen doesn't really have a good answer for that.
"Mom cried last Christmas. You made Mom cry and—Look, I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but you should. They don't deserve this and they're not going to keep trying forever."
"I'm sorry," Jensen says quietly. "I didn't know."
"That your family loves you? It's inexplicable, right? Obviously some sort of genetic thing at work, because it's certainly not your sparkling personality." When she speaks again, her voice is softer. "The gay thing always mattered to you more than anyone else. You never even gave us a chance."
Jensen wipes his hand over his face, unsure of what to say. "It would be great if you guys could come here for Thanksgiving," he finally manages.
"Excellent. Now, if you could not sound like you're about to cry when Mom calls, it'll be perfect," Mackenzie says perkily.
"Thanks." Jensen forces out a laugh. "Seriously, I'll. I will."
"Good. I do love you, you know. You're just kind of stupid sometimes."
"I love you, too," Jensen tells her.
After extracting three more promises from him that he will not fuck this up, Mackenzie says, "I'll see you in a couple months!" and hangs up on him.
The conversation is still rolling over in his mind at lunch when Jared stops by the office to see him.
"What's going on?" Jared asks after he gets a good look at Jensen's face.
"Uh, my baby sister called this morning and tore me a new one for being a major fuck-up of a son." Jensen tries for a smile. "My family is coming up for Thanksgiving!"
"Huh." Jared considers this for a minute. "I was planning on going home, but I can stay here if you want? Help run interference if things get too intense?"
"You don't have to."
Jared rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I know. But do you want me to?"
Jensen looks up at him and bites his lip. "How much of a bitch would I be if I said yes?"
"Oh, the biggest bitch in all the land, obviously." He jerks his head toward the door and says, "I have an hour. Let's go get some teriyaki."
The week leading up to Thanksgiving has Jensen as tense as he can remember being. He cleans the house and then cleans it again. On Monday he snaps at Jared for leaving his plate in the sink at which point Jared sends him to the grocery store with a list of things they need and a warning to not return for at least an hour.
Jensen feels properly sheepish by the time he gets back because Jared is missing his own family's Thanksgiving to help Jensen out. He apologizes until Jared throws his hands up in exasperation.
"Dude, you need to chill the fuck out right now or I will strangle you and that's not really the first impression I want your parents to have of me."
"Sorry." Jared shoots him a look and Jensen says, "Sorry," again and laughs. "Oh God. I don't know what's wrong with me."
Jared pulls him into a hug and kisses his temple. "It'll be fine. They're coming here because they want to see you."
"Yeah, I know." Jensen returns the hug and leans against Jared for a moment before pulling away. "I'm fine, I promise."
"Sure." Jared sounds skeptical and he refrains from calling Jensen on the three more episodes he has before it's time to go pick them up on Wednesday.
Jensen borrows Misha's van because he's enough of a coward that he wants Jared to go to the airport with him and it's big enough to hold everyone as well as the luggage. They park in the garage and go to wait by the baggage claim. The flight is a little bit early, so they only have a few minutes to wait until Jensen spots his family walking towards them.
For some reason, once he sees them, Jensen is hit with a wave of homesickness and the smile that spreads across his face is completely genuine. "Hi! Hey, Momma," he says as he pulls her into a hug. It's been a few years since Josh's wedding and his mom seems to have shrunk since then.
"Lord, you've gotten big," she says when she steps back.
"I guess." Jensen smiles bigger and hugs his dad and then his sister. "You look all grown up, brat."
Mackenzie grins and punches him hard on the shoulder. He gives her an offended look as he rubs his arm, but he figures he probably deserved that, so he lets it go without further comment.
"Hey, so this is my roommate," Jensen says, motioning Jared forward. "Jared, family. Family, Jared."
"Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Ackles." Jared politely shakes their hands and turns to Mackenzie. "Sister Ackles."
"I see Jensen has finally perfected the art of the useless introduction." Mackenzie shakes Jared's hand and beams up at him. Jared winks at her and laughs.
"Yes, well." Jensen looks between his sister and Jared and frowns. "Let's see about luggage."
"I think it's this carousel." Jared turns to lead the way and Mackenzie holds Jensen back to let their parents go in front of them.
"Hot," she whispers.
"Gay," he whispers back.
"Oh really?" She arches an eyebrow at him.
"And my roommate and best friend and that's all."
"What, not good enough for you?" She has the gall to look disappointed in him.
Jensen looks back up at where Jared is standing at the carousel, chatting easily with his parents like they're all old friends. "Hardly. It's just not like that, okay?"
Mackenzie purses her lips and says, "This conversation is not over." She walks away from him to join their parents and Jared.
"So says you," Jensen mutters, following after her.
It's amazing to Jensen how easy it is to settle back into old routines, and it makes him very aware of how much of the strain in their relationship was coming from him. Once they get to the house, he gets his parents set up in his bedroom as he fills them in on everything that's been going on over the past few months.
His mom nods and makes "I'm listening" sounds as she looks around. She stops to examine a picture on the wall, and it takes Jensen a moment to remember what it is when she asks, "Is this one of yours, Jensen?"
"Uh, yeah, I took that. It's a place in Ballard." The picture isn't anything fancy, just a little bit of road and train tracks and trees, but it's aesthetically cool. "We could go over there while you guys are here. It's a neat neighborhood."
"Sure." She smiles and nods before walking over to the bed to help his dad unpack some of their stuff. "Are you still taking pictures?" she asks as she pulls out her bathroom bag. "You always had such an eye for it."
"A little bit," Jensen hedges. It's such a Mom thing for her to say—Jensen could be any age right now, feeling proud of himself that his momma liked something he made, and his chest aches a little to think about it. He doesn't want to disappoint her by admitting he hasn't picked up his camera in over a year. "I'm gonna go see if Mack needs anything." He ducks out of the room before she can respond.
After everyone has had a chance to freshen up, Jensen tells them that Misha and Clare invited them over for dinner. "If that's okay? They're going to Clare's parents for Thanksgiving, but they wanted to meet y'all."
"Of course that's okay," his mom says. "I'd love to meet them."
Jensen made them both swear up and down that they would behave before he accepted the invitation, but he's still a little nervous about it as they drive over. As it turns out, it's completely unnecessary. Misha is at his most charming and Clare is as sweet as Jensen's ever seen her. Between them and Jared, Jensen is feeling an overwhelming amount of love and affection for his friends by the end of the night.
"Thank you guys," Jensen says sincerely as he hands Misha's keys back over to him. Everyone else is waiting outside. It's a little chilly, but it's not too far back to the house and everyone is okay with walking. "Seriously."
"Who loves you, gorgeous?" Clare asks, going up on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek. "I'm glad they came."
"Yeah." Jensen nods. "Yeah, me too."
Jared bumps against his shoulder on the walk home and smiles at him. Told you so, he mouths and Jensen smiles back and shakes his head.
His mom and dad go to get ready for bed as soon as they get back home. "We're two hours ahead of you, remember?" his mom asks. "And I need to be up early tomorrow if we're going to eat at a decent hour."
"I told you Jared and I can cook, Momma. You don't have to come here and do work you know." Logically, Jensen knows that this is a pointless argument, but he feels the need to make it anyway.
"I want to. You're not going to deny me the privilege of making Thanksgiving dinner for my family, are you?"
"Trick question," his dad calls from the bathroom.
Jensen throws his hands up in mock surrender.
"You have everything you need out of your room?" She smiles when Jensen nods. "Okay, I guess I'll head up then."
She turns to walk out of the kitchen and, before he really thinks about it, Jensen reaches out to stop her. When she gives him a confused look Jensen feels a little stupid.
"Hug?" he says, rubbing the back of his neck. He relaxes at the smile she gives him and bends down to hug her. "Goodnight. Sleep well."
"Goodnight, baby." She kisses his cheek and then turns to go upstairs, stopping to say goodnight to Jared and Mackenzie, who are on the couch watching The Little Mermaid.
His dad follows a few minutes later with a clap on the shoulder and a gruff, "'Night, Son."
Jensen goes to take out his contacts and wash his face before wandering into the living room to watch the rest of the movie. He sits down on the floor with one of the big throw pillows at his back and his head resting against Jared's knee.
Jared reaches down and taps his fingers against the top of Jensen's head and the spreads them out slowly. "Crackin' an egg," he whispers.
"God, you're lame."
Mackenzie shushes them both. "This is my favorite part."
It's the Under the Sea song and Jensen remembers that Mackenzie had the soundtrack when she was little. She would play that song over and over, dancing around the house singing along and driving everyone else crazy. He smiles and closes his eyes.
"Bedtime," Jared says, shaking Jensen awake.
"Aw, man. Did I miss the ending?" Jensen rubs his eyes under his glasses and yawns. "What happened?"
"I'm not going to tell," Mackenzie says in her snottiest voice. "You just have to live not knowing."
"Can't tell you two are siblings at all." Jared stands and heads toward the bathroom.
"Alright, Mack, you good on the couch?" Jensen has blankets and sheets and pillows all set up for her. It's a comfortable couch, so he doesn't feel too bad about sticking her there. There's not really anywhere else to put her.
"I'm good. Where are you going to be?"
"I have the air mattress up in Jared's room," Jensen says distractedly, looking around to see if she needs anything else.
"Oh yeah?"
Jensen looks at her and rolls his eyes. "Jesus, Mack. Don't be weird about this, please." He glances back at the bathroom and lowers his voice. "I would tell you if there was something going on there, okay?"
"Jensen, are you—" She stares at him for a moment and then shakes her head, laughing. "Yeah, okay. Whatever."
Jared walks back into the room before Jensen can ask what that's supposed to mean and he decides to just let it go. He goes to brush his teeth and Mackenzie follows him.
"I have to brush my teeth, too," she says when he gives her a look.
It makes Jensen feel like he's fifteen again, battling his sister at the sink as they both try and get ready for bed at the same time. He kicks her out so that he can pee and leaves the toilet seat up just to be annoying.
She sticks her tongue out at him when he walks out and says, "Goodnight, bratface."
He's still smiling when he walks into Jared's room.
"Not quite the disaster you were expecting, huh?" Jared asks. He's sitting up in bed reading. Something for school, Jensen assumes from the pink highlighter tucked behind his ear. The book is in his lap, though, so Jensen can't tell what it is.
"Yeah, yeah. You were right. Aren't you so smug?" Jensen shucks his jeans and pulls on the pajama pants that he threw in there earlier. It's a little chilly in Jared's room, so he leaves his t-shirt on as he crawls on to the air mattress. It sinks down under his weight until his knees are touching the floor. "Shit. Does this have a leak?" He fully inflated it earlier when he put the sheets on.
Jared looks down at him and frowns. "It might. I think Chad was the last one to use it."
"Now you tell me." Jensen flops onto his back and sighs as his butt sinks down. "Great."
"Dude, my bed is big enough. You can sleep with me."
"Yeah, I know. I just." Jensen sits up and looks at the door, frowning.
"Your parents are going to bust in here and catch us sleeping? Your mom can see through walls? What?" Jared sounds far too amused. "You can leave the mattress there looking slept in if you want. No one else has to know."
"I never did anything in the house, you know," Jensen admits. "I was sure they'd be able to tell somehow. I did some stupid stuff in high school. A lot of stupid stuff. Going places I shouldn't have been. Semi-public fucking." He waves his hand. "But God forbid I ever sneak a boy up to my room, because I didn't want them to be disappointed in me."
"I don't think they're disappointed in you, Jensen," Jared says after a moment. "I kind of got the feeling that your mom already thinks we're dating. She doesn't seem too upset about it."
Jensen chuckles and looks down at his hands. "That figures."
Jared closes his book and sets it on the night table and then the highlighter on top of it and gets out of bed. "I think I still have some packing tape in here somewhere, if we can find the leak, we can patch it up with that. It should hold until tomorrow, anyway."
"Jared." Jensen stands, feeling a little touched that Jared's totally willing to go to that much trouble over something so dumb. "It's not necessary. You're right. I'm being stupid about something that's not a big deal."
"If it makes you that uncomfortable—"
"No, it's fine. Just a knee-jerk, juvenile reaction. It's been awhile since I've been around my family like this, you know?"
"If you're sure." Jared eyes him dubiously and Jensen grins and thumps him on the chest.
"Just don't get handsy in the middle of the night and we'll be fine," he says as he crawls onto the far side of the bed.
"I'll try my best." Jared goes a little overboard with the sarcasm there as far as Jensen's concerned. He gets into bed next to Jensen and turns out the light.
"Hey, Jared." Jensen turns on his side so that he's facing Jared. He can just make out his profile in the dim light coming from Jared's alarm clock.
"Yeah?"
"As far as everyone else goes, I slept on the air mattress?"
Jared snorts. "I'll take it to my grave."
Jensen grins. "You're the best."
"That's true," Jared says around a yawn. "Now go to sleep. We have turkey to eat tomorrow."
"My mom makes good turkey," Jensen whispers and Jared grunts in acknowledgment. Jensen falls asleep feeling both excited and content.
Jensen wakes up warm and happy, his dreams slipping away before he has a chance to remember them. When he opens his eyes, he realizes that he's plastered against Jared's side, his arm across Jared's chest. Jared's arm is curled around Jensen's waist, his other hand resting with his fingers brushing against the crook of Jensen's elbow.
There's really no way for Jensen to extract himself without waking Jared up and when he glances at the clock, he realizes it's still really early in the morning. So he closes his eyes and tucks his head against Jared's shoulder, figuring they'll probably untangle themselves in their sleep, no awkwardness necessary.
When he wakes up again, he's still pressed up against Jared's body, but when he opens his eyes he finds that Jared is awake, quietly reading his book. Jensen groans and rolls onto his back, arching up a little as Jared slides his arm out from under him.
"I'm not sure whether or not I'm surprised that you're a cuddler." Jared grins and looks at him out of the corner of his eyes.
"Sorry." Jensen wipes at his mouth, relieved to find that at least he wasn't drooling all over him.
"It's not like you were humping me. I don't really mind." Jared shrugs. "Of course, you are going to have to make an honest man out of me now."
"Naturally." Jensen stretches and turns back on his side, leaving some space between them. "What time is it?"
"Little after eight. I think your parents are already up."
"Yeah, they would be." Jensen sighs. He's not quite ready to get out of the warm cocoon of blankets yet, but he knows he has to. "I'm sure Mom has already started cooking."
"Guess we should head down then, huh?" Jared shuts his book and sets it aside and climbs out of bed. "Will they mind if I wear my pajamas down there?"
"Yes, we wear formal dress in mixed company," Jensen says sarcastically. "You can stay up here and read for awhile or whatever if you want. You don't have to be on Parent Patrol all weekend."
"Nah, I'm good. I need coffee. I was just waiting for you to wake up."
Jensen can feel himself blush at that. "You could have just woken me up, you know." He slides out of bed and pulls on a pair of socks.
"You looked so sweet. I didn't have the heart." Jared pats Jensen's cheek and then brings his thumb up to squish Jensen's face.
"Fuck you," Jensen says through fish lips. He bats Jared's arm away and glares at him.
Jared holds up his left hand and points. "You know the rules, Ackles. Ring first."
"Don't hold your breath," Jensen says as he walks past Jared and out the door.
"I know you don't mean that," Jared calls after him.
His dad is on the couch with a cup of coffee channel surfing and Mackenzie is curled in the corner with a magazine, looking disgruntled that her sleeping time is over. As predicted, his mom is already in the kitchen pulling things out of the cupboard.
Jensen holds his hand up to her as he passes and goes into the bathroom. He brushes his teeth, but doesn't bother with his contacts yet. When he comes back out, Jared is sitting at the kitchen table working his way through his first cup of coffee.
"She wouldn't let me help," Jared tells him.
"Do you need help, Momma?" Jensen grabs his mug from the dish rack and pours some coffee, but there's only enough left for half a cup. He shoots Jared a dirty look and sets about making another pot.
"No, dear. That's why I brought my girl child along."
"Jensen's like a girl child," Mackenzie calls from the living room.
"And Jensen's been able to cook for himself since he was fifteen," his mom answers back. "You still need the practice."
Jensen pokes his head into the living room and sticks out his tongue. "The menfolk have football to watch, Mack."
"Nice to see sexism is alive and well." Mackenzie pushes off the couch and shuffles into the kitchen.
"We'll set the table and do the dishes," Jensen says.
"I didn't want to watch football anyway."
"Good." Jensen cuts off a piece of the coffee cake he got for breakfast as he waits for the coffee to brew. "Glad that's settled."
Dinner goes off without a hitch, though it's not exactly fancy. They don't have a dining room, but the kitchen table has a leaf they put in the middle so there's room for everyone and it's set with Jensen's Corelle dishes rather than his gran's china. Still, Jensen really can't remember the last time he's had this much fun on a holiday. He missed his mom's cooking.
Jensen and Jared do clean-up as promised and after that's done they watch football and play Scattergories. It's downright Rockwellian.
"It was a good day, right?" Jensen asks when they're back in Jared's room for the night.
"It was a good day." Jared pulls on his pajama pants and grabs a clean t-shirt out of his dresser. "Your family's pretty great."
"Yeah. Yeah, I guess my sister was right to chew me out." Jensen pulls on his own pjs and looks down at the half-deflated air mattress. "I don't know. I guess I just assumed that they would disown me or whatever. So I did it first." He looks over at Jared and narrows his eyes. "How did you turn out to be so well-adjusted?"
"Mom's a teacher. One of those teachers that has this crazy bond with her students." Jared crawls into bed, scooting over to the side Jensen was on before. "So, like, she's had a bunch of students come to her over the years with that sort of stuff. Kids having trouble with their parents or getting kicked out. So she made this big deal when we were all pretty little about being able to talk to her about anything and that she and Dad loved us no matter what." He smiles. "I was still pretty nervous when I told them, but I know I was lucky. I never worried that I couldn't."
"That's cool." Jensen thinks about it, about how different things might have been if he hadn't been too scared to go to his parents before college. Would he still have run away to Seattle, or would he have ended up at UT Austin?
"So, are you gonna hang out there all night?"
Jensen realizes he's been standing there spacing. "Sorry." He gets into bed and turns off the light. Turned on his side how he usually sleeps, he's facing away from Jared tonight. "This a preemptive strike against cuddling?" he asks.
"Yes." Jared shifts behind him and a moment later, his arm wraps around Jensen's waist and pulls Jensen back against him. "You know how I hate your clinginess."
For a moment Jensen tenses, startled by the sudden contact. This is a step beyond his normal comfort zone, even with Jared.
"Sorry, I was just—" Jared starts to pull away, but Jensen grabs his arm.
"No, it's good. Fine." Jensen takes a deep breath and relaxes back against him. If anyone asked, Jensen would swear up and down that there's nothing about a relationship that's worth the headache of dating, but this is something he misses.
"You sure?"
Jensen nods. "So I, uh. I dated this guy right after college. We were together for a couple years and when we broke up I had horrible insomnia. I wasn't used to sleeping alone anymore. Then when I moved in with Sophia, she would come sleep with me when she had bad dreams." He laughs. "I was such an asshole. I kept wanting her to have nightmares so I could get some sleep. I mean, obviously I got over it eventually."
Jared's arm tightens around him for a brief moment, then he relaxes again. "So this guy…"
"It was a long time ago." Jensen's hand is still resting on Jared's arm and it's weird that he would think of Jeff now. He usually doesn't around Jared. They're nothing alike, nor is Jensen's friendship with Jared anything like his relationship with Jeff was at all. But there are moments like this, when Jensen feels completely comfortable, and it's like a sense memory. What it was like to trust someone that much.
The bitch of it is, as shitty as it turned out before, Jensen does trust Jared that much. He was so thrown when they first met, he never had a chance to put up any defenses. Jared slipped right on in to all those vulnerable places and at this point, Jensen doesn't have much of a choice. He either has to trust Jared or stop talking to him completely and Jensen isn't about to give him up. At least Jared isn't in a position to break his heart.
"I don't know what my point was there," Jensen finally says. "I guess just. Sometimes it's nice to have someone to sleep with."
Jared is quiet except for the rustle of sheets as he moves a little closer to Jensen. A second later, Jensen feels the brush of Jared's lips against the nape of his neck and his heart kicks into his throat. Before he can even think of how to react, he hears the sound of his bedroom door opening down the hall and flinches hard, making Jared jump, too.
They both listen as someone walks down the hall, down the stairs. "Bathroom," Jensen guesses, his heart still hammering in his ears. He lays there, tense until he hears them come back up, down the hall and shut the door.
There's a puff of air against Jensen's neck as Jared sighs. "Go to sleep, Jen." Jared's voice doesn't sound anything but tired. He falls asleep a few minutes later, his fingers curling slightly against Jensen's stomach.
It takes Jensen a lot longer to drift off.
It's harder than Jensen thought it would be to see his family off. He takes them to the airport alone and on the ride there, his mom says, "Jared is a good boy."
"He is," Jensen agrees, glancing at her in the rearview mirror. "He's a good friend. A really good friend." He glances back at her again and she looks disappointed. "I would tell you if he were more than that, Momma."
She leans forward and pets his shoulder. "Well, I'm glad you have a friend like him, anyway."
His dad asks him about the Seahawks and the possibility of them going to the Super Bowl this year, effectively changing the subject.
Jensen parks in the garage, despite the fact that he can't walk them past security. When they get their bags all checked, Jensen shoves his hands in his pockets and says, "So, I was thinking. I've been at my job long enough that I have some flexibility with my vacation time now, and I was thinking that I want to try and make it home for Christmas this year."
He feels nervous as he says it, part of him still worrying that they're going to tell him no, he's not welcome. But his mom smiles and pulls him down to kiss his cheek. "It's good to have you back, baby," she whispers before letting him go.
When Jensen goes to hug his sister, he whispers, "I owe you one."
"Yeah you do." She squeezes him tight and lets him go.
"Dad." Jensen holds out his hand to shake and laughs when his dad pulls him into a gruff hug.
With one last round of goodbyes, Jensen tells them to have a good flight and call him when they land. He watches for awhile after they've disappear into the crowd, tucked against the wall, out of the flow of people. Finally he makes it back to the car, feeling unbelievably sad.
Jared has beer and pizza waiting for him when he gets home. Jensen sits down on the couch and sighs. "My family loves you, you know."
"I'm pretty awesome," Jared says around a mouthful of pizza.
"Well that goes without saying." Jensen grins and looks down at his hands. "Thanks for sticking around this weekend."
"Yeah, sure." Jared smiles at him and pats his knee. "Any time, man."
Jared disappears after Thanksgiving in a finals frenzy. Jensen isn't even sure what it is Jared has to do—he can't manage to get him in one place long enough to find that out. Something to do with his TA duties as far as Jensen can tell because occasionally he'll catch Jared wandering around muttering about "fucking undergrads". He figures it's better to just not ask. Instead, he makes sure that the fridge stays stocked with ready-to-eat foods and all the bills are paid on time.
One night, just as Jensen is getting ready to go to bed, there's a knock on his door and a second later, Jared sticks his head in.
"I could've been jacking off, dude," Jensen says, setting his book aside.
"You say that like it's a deterrent." Jared grins. "There's food in the fridge. You've been feeding me."
Jensen laughs. "You just noticed that?"
"I've been preoccupied? I just—Thanks. I appreciate it."
"No problem. Hey," he says as Jared moves to leave. "What are you doing for New Year's?"
"Uh." Jared wrinkles his brow. "I'm still gonna be in Texas."
"Yeah, me too. Do you have plans?"
"Not really. You have something in mind?" Jared looks cautious, but the corners of his mouth are twitching up into a smile already.
"I was thinking maybe we could meet up in Austin. Check out Sixth Street, see some shows."
"Get really trashed?" Jared asks.
"Something like that." Jensen hasn't been to Austin since he was in high school and he thinks it'd be a cool place to visit as an adult.
"Alright." Jared seems to think about it for a moment before he nods. "Yeah, okay. Count me in."
"Cool. I'll do the reservations and stuff. Now go back to your frantic muttering." Jensen waves Jared away and laughs when he flips him off.
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