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errant_janePrevious
PART II
Spring 2005 – Spring 2007
"Would you just stop and think about it? I mean, really think about it." Jensen surveys the boxes scattered around the room, haphazardly packed in a way that makes him twitch with the urge to dump them all out and start over again. "I'm begging you to reconsider."
"I have reconsidered." Sophia says blithely. "I turned down his marriage proposal. Moving in with him is the compromise."
"Are you sure breaking up with him isn't the compromise?" Jensen pinches the bridge of his nose against the headache threatening behind his eyes. "I mean, it's Chad. He was supposed to be a rebound fuck. What happened there?"
Sophia gives him an exasperated look. "If you're going to bitch at me, the least you can do is help." She gestures at the stuff in her room that has yet to be shoved into a random box.
Jensen grabs one of the smaller boxes and walks over to the bookshelf and sits down on the floor. He starts pulling books off of the shelf and packing them according to size. "I just think you're making the wrong decision," he says, which is ninety percent true. The other ten percent is that he doesn't want to deal with the hassle of getting another roommate. He's lived with Sophia since he moved out of Jeff's place three years ago. They work well together and now she's running off to live with the biggest tool Jensen's ever met.
"You hide it well." She chucks a pair of socks at his head and sticks out her tongue. "He's really not that bad once you get to know him."
"Oh come on! The guy is a world-class dick. You can't possibly expect me to believe you have a functional relationship." He shoves another handful of books in the box with more force than necessary. "I'm the one who hears about all the drama, remember?"
"Stuff it, Ackles. You wouldn't know a functional relationship if it bit you in the ass. When's the last time you actually dated someone? Last I checked, fucking a married professor doesn't count." Jensen looks up sharply at that and Sophia seems completely horrified. "Jensen, I didn't mean that."
Jensen throws the books he's holding in the box and stands up. "Pack your own shit," he says as he walks out of the room.
It'll take her at least three minutes to navigate her way out of the maze of crap she has piled around her. He considers leaving the house, but he's learned that with Sophia it's better to just have it out right away, so he heads into the kitchen to make a sandwich while he waits, despite the fact that he's not hungry at all now.
The professor thing was a year and half ago and it still tops the list of Jensen's personal fuck-ups, which is saying quite a bit. He had no idea the guy was married when they started hooking up— Jensen can't think if it as dating anymore. He stupidly thought that they were keeping it a secret because they both worked at the university. Then, about two months into things, Jensen ran into him at Pike's Place Market, said hi before he realized that the woman with him was his wife and she was carrying their six month-old baby girl.
There has been no other point in his life where Jensen felt like more of a worthless piece of shit than he did at that moment, making obligatory small talk with a woman whose husband he'd been fucking for months.
Jensen stopped dating after that.
"I'm sorry." Sophia wraps her arms around Jensen's waist from behind and presses up against his back. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, Jensen. I mean, I think you're being an asshole about Chad, but that was uncalled for."
"It's fine, Soph." Jensen sighs. "Want a sandwich?"
"It's not fine. The guy was a creep. That wasn't your fault. What kind of sandwich?"
"Salami." Jensen turns around and hands her the plate. "I'm sorry I'm being a dick about Chad."
"But you still hate him?" she asks around a mouthful of salami.
"With every fiber of my being." Jensen kisses her head. "But if you want to live with him..."
Sophia looks amused. "You can't even finish that sentence, can you?"
"I just really hate that guy." Jensen pulls her into a one-armed hug. "Guys suck. You should date Danny."
"You know not all girls are lesbians at heart, right?" She relaxes against him and finishes her sandwich. When she's done, she says, "And not all guys suck. You should maybe try actual dating again someday."
"Nah," Jensen says casually. It's not that he's against the idea of dating, but he's had a bad run. He doesn't want to be the crazy, neurotic guy who steals his boyfriend's cell phone to check for suspicious messages and after the affair, he was definitely headed that way. Sex is a lot less complicated.
"Jensen, I'm serious. I want you to be happy." Sophia frowns up at him.
He sighs. "I'm not unhappy."
"It's not the same thing."
"Yeah, I know." Before the conversation can turn maudlin, he adds, "I'd be a lot happier if I didn't have to find a new roommate. You know I can't afford this place alone."
That isn't entirely true, but Sophia waits tables at an upscale restaurant downtown and, on a really good night, can bring home more than Jensen does in a week. It's something Jensen tries not to think about directly, it only makes him wonder where exactly his life went wrong.
"I already told you, you should meet Chad's roommate. I think you'd like him. He's from Texas."
"Yeah." Jensen says slowly. "I just keep missing the positive aspects of douchebag Chad's friend from Texas. I moved away from Texas," he reminds her.
"Jared's a good guy. I promise he's not a creepy mouth-breather." She kicks his shin lightly. "Jesus, do you think I'm stupid enough to recommend someone I think you'd hate?"
Jensen shrugs. "I don't know, maybe you have an ulterior motive. Like, say, the fact that you're moving into that apartment and you want the dude out of there?" He points at her. "Your taste in people is suspect now."
"It was suspect when I started hanging out with you." She grabs his finger and twists it back hard. "Just meet him is all I'm asking."
"Ow, shit, Sophia. Okay. I'll meet with him. Let me go." Jensen snatches his hand back and rubs his finger as soon as she releases him. "I'm not making any promises, though. I don't like him and you're going to have to find some other sucker to pawn him off on."
"You're the best!" She goes up on her tiptoes and kisses his cheek. "Really."
"How's the forecast for the weekend?" Kristen asks, walking into Jensen's office without so much as a hello. She comes around his desk and sits on the edge, crossing her ankles in front of her. "Gym bunny? Or is it more of a club boy kind of weekend?"
"Tinkerbell!" Jensen leans back in his chair and grins. Of his friends at work, Kristen is far and away his favorite. She works in financial aid, but she just got accepted into WSU's Veterinary program, so she'll be leaving in the fall. Jensen will be sad to see her go. "I don't know. I might lay low this weekend."
"Jensen, I'm disappointed." She bumps his knee with her leg. "I rely on you to provide salacious stories through which I might live vicariously. What am I supposed to do when you lay low? Or is that some sort of euphemism?"
Jensen sighs and rolls his eyes. "I'm supposed to meet with some friend of Chad's as a possible roommate. I have a feeling I'll need some time to recover from that."
"Douchebag Chad? You're kidding." Kristen is his favorite in part because he can bitch to her about all the things Sophia won't let him get away with. "How did you get roped into that?"
"No idea."
"Well." She pushes herself away from the desk and stands. "If you're not going to provide me with any gossip— Hey. Isn't that Fantasy Gym Guy?"
Jensen looks out the window where she's nodding and sighs. "Oh, yeah. That's him." Fantasy Gym Guy falls under the category of, probably straight, most likely a dick, but oh so nice to look at. Jensen sees him all the time at the student gym, working out with Hot Tiny Brunette Girl.
"It looks like he's coming in here."
"No shit," Jensen mutters as the door opens. "Can I help you?"
Fantasy Gym Guy looks startled to find Jensen there. "Uh." He looks back down at the paper he's holding, makes a surprisingly bitchy face and then looks back up. "I'm looking for Jensen?" he asks in a please tell me that's not you tone of voice.
"I'm Jensen."
"Right." Fantasy Gym Guy smirks. "Okay. Hi, I'm Chad's friend, Jared. Sophia said I could find you here."
That Jensen was not expecting. Next to him, Kristen makes a high-pitched squeaking sound, like she can't quite believe how de-fucking-lightful her life just got.
"Hi. Okay, right. Hi." Jensen shoots Kristen a dirty look as she continues to make creepy noises in the back of her throat.
"If this is a bad time…" Jared points at the door.
"No, it's fine. Kristen was just leaving."
"Oh, God. I really was." Kristen's eyes are suspiciously bright. "Jared, it is fantastic to meet you." She beams at him and shakes his hand. "Jensen! We'll talk." She makes a call me sign once she's beyond Jared's line of sight.
"I feel like I missed something," Jared says once she leaves.
"She's high," Jensen tells him. "Um, I have about half an hour left and then we can go and you can have a look at the house?" There's no way he sees this working, but he feels obligated to offer.
"Yeah, sure. I'll just." Jared runs his hand through his hair and points at the door again. He turns to walk out, then stops and turns back. "Look, I'm guessing that Sophia kind of forced you into this, so if you want to back out, that's fine. No harm, no foul."
Jensen laughs and it's mostly genuine. "Oh, she totally did. But whatever. You should at least come see the place, see if you'd even be interested." Jensen's smile falls as it occurs to him that maybe Jared was looking for an out. That maybe Sophia told him Jensen was gay and he's caught Jensen checking him out at the gym, which would be unfortunate. "Unless you don't want to. Which is cool."
"No, no! I do! That's awesome! I. Yeah." Jared grins, this bright huge smile that's a little startling. "Okay, I'm usually not this awkward. Or, y'know. Maybe I am but people seem to find it endearing."
"I'll keep that in mind," Jensen says.
"So, here's the thing," Jared says on the bus ride back to the house. "I'm guessing you hate Chad. You seem like a reasonable person," he adds at Jensen's questioning look. "I'm just asking that you don't base your impression of me on the fact that I'm friends with him."
Jensen laughs.
"I mean, you like Sophia, right? And she actually has sex with him. I just live with the guy." Jared grins triumphantly at his brilliant display of logic.
"I'll make you a deal." Jensen arranges his features into as serious an expression as he can manage. "You don't use the word 'sex' in reference to him again and I'll give you a fair shot."
Jared laughs with his whole body and Jensen thinks this might not be as bad as he was expecting. He already sort of likes the guy.
After Jensen shows Jared around the house, he asks, "Do you have any questions?"
"Do you have plans for the night?"
"Um. Not really," Jensen says cautiously.
Jared nods for a moment. "We need to go drinking, then. It's the best roommate litmus test around. Trust me."
Jensen snorts. "Were you drunk when you agreed to live with Chad?"
"So drunk." Jared laughs. "So so drunk. I've never been so drunk in my life." He pauses, tilts his head and says, "We may have been drinking absinthe."
"I think there's a flaw in your litmus test."
"You in?" Jared asks like Jensen hadn't said anything at all.
"Yeah," Jensen finds himself agreeing. "Why the hell not?"
They end up at a small bar a few streets over that Jensen's never been to. They order buffalo wings, mozzarella sticks, and Coronas. Jared tells him about grad school and they exchange growing-up-in-Texas stories. Jensen begrudgingly admits to himself that Sophia was right. Jared seems like a good guy.
About six or so beers in, Jared says, "I have a confession to make."
Jensen raises an eyebrow and nods for him to continue.
"Yeah, so you totally slept with a friend of mine like six months ago."
"Oh." Jensen blinks and looks down at his bottle. "Awkward."
"Right?" Jared wrinkles his nose. "So he wouldn't shut up about it for awhile and then I kept seeing you in the gym and I'd think, 'There's the dude Michael hooked up with' and then when I walked into the office this afternoon, y'know. Awkward."
"Yeah, okay." Jensen feels oddly disappointed. "If the gay sex thing makes you uncomfortable—"
"Uh," Jared cuts him off, laughing. "That would suck for me, being gay and all. Do I seem that neurotic?"
"What?" Jensen feels like he missed several parts of this conversation. "I'm so confused."
"I'm sorry." Jared frowns. "I figured Sophia would've told you. I'm gay."
"You're gay?"
"Yeah, I. Yeah. I thought you knew that." The corner of his mouth quirks up. "Does that make you uncomfortable?"
"No." Jensen shakes his head, more to clear it than in denial. "I just figured you were very very straight."
"Based on what?"
"Hot Tiny Brunette Girl," Jensen says. "From the gym."
Jared laughs. "Gen? No, she's just a friend. Who will be delighted by that nickname, by the way." He tilts his head. "What's mine?"
"So, I fucked your friend?" Jensen asks.
"Subject change duly noted." Jared claps his hands in delight. "I'm going to order tequila and ask again in an hour, but to answer your question, yes. You hooked up with my friend, Michael. Clean-cut, sweet-faced All-American sort of guy."
Jensen nods like he has some idea of who Jared's talking about. "And he told you all about it?" Not that Jensen can actually complain on that front. He tells Kristen and Sophia about most of his hook-ups. But, in his defense, they don't date out of the same pool.
"He sang your praises quite highly." Jared waggles his brows and bumps his shoulder against Jensen's. Waits until Jensen takes a sip of his beer to say, "Your nickname is Too Pretty to Live, by the way." He thumps Jensen on the back as Jensen splutters.
"Interestingly, that's also my Indian Princess name," Jensen says when he can speak again.
When the waitress comes back, Jared orders a round of tequila.
Three hours later, they're running down the street, trying to put as much distance between them and the bar as possible.
"Hey, hold up." Jared ducks into a gap between two buildings, not quite big enough to be considered an alley.
Jensen follows him, stumbling only a little. He leans back against the wall to catch his breath, takes one look at Jared and starts laughing.
"Dude!" Jared shushes him, the noise uneven through his own laughter.
"You got us into a bar fight," Jensen states. "In Seattle. I didn't even know that was possible."
"Guy shouldn't have been talkin' 'bout my momma like that." Jared wipes his thumb against his nose and makes a tough guy face.
Jensen snorts. "No one said shit about your momma."
"Yeah, well, when I tell that story later, they did."
"I can't— You're—" Jensen shakes his head, completely unable to articulate just what Jared is.
"I'm awesome, right?" Jared beams at him, all happy and puppyish. It's absurd. "Come on. When's the last time you had that much fun?"
"I don't know, man." Jensen shakes his head. He honestly can't remember.
"So I'm in, right?" Jared nods his head. "You can tell me. I'm totally in."
It takes a minute for Jensen to remember that he's talking about the roommate thing. He has no doubt at all that he could live with Jared, but he hesitates. Has the momentary urge to take a step, close the gap between them and kiss Jared for all he's worth. Run his fingers through that ridiculous floppy hair and lick into his mouth until they're both panting for a different reason entirely. There's not a doubt in his mind that Jared would open up for him, sweet and easy as anything.
But Jensen likes Jared, so he stays where he is and smiles. "You're totally in."
"Yes!" Jared pumps his fist in the air. "You first official duty as my roommate will be to take me to the hospital tomorrow. I'm pretty sure that guy broke my hand with his face."
"What?" Jensen takes a step closer. "Let me see."
"You got x-ray vision, Superman?" Jared shoves him away and walks back out onto the sidewalk.
"Jackass," Jensen says easily, falling into step beside him. "I think the house is back this way. You crashing on the couch?"
"If that's cool?"
"Yeah. Actually, I think Sophia's bed is still set up, so you can sleep there." They walk in silence for a minute and Jensen has to laugh at himself. "Fantasy Gym Guy."
"What?" Jared looks startled.
"Your nickname. It was Fantasy Gym Guy."
"Okay, I'm curious." Jared waves his hand. "Please elaborate."
"Because I figured the fantasy was far better than the reality could ever be." Jensen looks at Jared out of the corner of his eye to see how he'll react to that.
Jared laughs and wraps his good arm around Jensen's shoulder. "Man, how much do you hate being that wildly wrong about something?" Instead of waiting for an answer, he launches into an extremely off-key rendition of Rod Stewart's Da Ya Think I'm Sexy, singing the chorus over and over until they reach the house.
There's a fifty-fifty chance that Jensen is really going to hate himself in the morning.
"Jensen." There's an obnoxious poking at his shoulder and another sing-song, "Jensen." It's Sophia's smug shorthand for, You must now admit defeat.
Jensen is willing to admit defeat, just not this early in the morning. He reaches out blindly, but Sophia easily evades him.
"There's a boy in my room, Jensen," she chirps. "A gift?"
"S'Jared." Jensen opens one eye and then shuts it again. Too bright. "It's Jared, right?" He mumbles. "Tell me that's actually Jared and I don't have a stalker."
"It's Jared." Sophia sits on the edge of the mattress. "And he's in my bed."
"You weren't using it."
She pokes him again. "He's in my bed. Not yours." When Jensen manages to open both eyes this time, it's to find Sophia beaming at him like a proud mother. "I feel like you're growing as a person!"
"Yeah, well." Jensen doesn't actually feel that bad, all things considered, so, he's probably still drunk. "I am capable of keeping it in my pants."
"What you can do and what you do do are two different things. So last night went well, I take it?"
Jensen snorts. "You said doodoo."
"Right, okay. I see the level we're playing at now." She starts to get up, but Jensen grabs her arm.
"Sorry. Yeah. You were right. Seems like a good guy." It's usually best to tell Sophia when she's right before she has the chance to prompt him. "You didn't tell me he was gay, though."
"Yeah, I wanted you to actually get to know him."
"Jesus." Jensen wipes his hand over his face and sits up. "You make it sound like— I don't know. I'm not that bad, am I?"
"No, not bad. You just don't always find them worth talking to before you fuck them."
"Yeah, well, sometimes they're not." He grins at her and then stops immediately because it makes his head throb. "Anyway, he can stay. Your meddling has paid off." He waves a hand in her direction.
"You're a prince among men, Jensen Ackles." Sophia grabs his hand and kisses it. "Come downstairs and I'll make you breakfast. Did you douse your room in liquor last night or is that all coming from you, by the way?"
"I'll shower."
The bathroom is off of the kitchen, so Jensen grabs a clean pair of boxers and sweats and heads downstairs. Sophia is already digging around in the cabinets with very little regard for how loud the sound of pots banging together is on the bad side of a bottle of tequila. He takes long enough in the shower for most of that to be done by the time he steps out of the bathroom.
"You are going to feel like so much shit in about three hours," Sophia says from her position at the stove.
"Totally worth it," Jared calls from the living room. Jensen finds him standing in front of the couch with his arm cradled against his chest, looking at the wall in confusion. "Shouldn't there be, y'know. A TV here?"
"Sophia doesn't believe in them," Jensen says. "I have a small one up in my room, but we don't have cable or anything."
Jared turns to look at him with a full-on kicked puppy expression. "But where do you watch football?"
Sophia walks in the room just in time to hear that and rolls her eyes. "Jesus, it's a match made in heaven. God forbid you not be able to watch your precious football." She hands the cup of coffee she's holding over to Jensen.
"Quit your sass, woman, and go make us bacon," Jensen says. Sophia glares at him and walks back into the kitchen.
Jared laughs quietly once she's out of earshot, because he's obviously smarter than Jensen.
Jensen takes a sip of his coffee and grins. "Yeah, that's gonna get me punched later." He cocks his head at Jared. "We can totally get a TV."
"I totally have a TV!" Jared says. "Well, I mean, it's half mine, half Chad's. But since Sophia doesn't believe in TVs..."
Jensen hums thoughtfully. "Go on."
"Big, flatscreen. Like you're on the field with them." Jared licks his lips. "It's—"
"Pornographic?" Jensen supplies.
"Yeah," Jared says in a distant, wistful sort of way. Like he's in awe just thinking about it. He comes back to himself and adds, "I have an Xbox too."
"Yeah." Jensen nods as much as he can get away with without making his head throb. "Yeah, I think this'll work out just fine." He pats Jared's shoulder and walks back into the kitchen. "I'm sorry, Sophia. You've been replaced."
"I'm heartbroken," she says dryly. "Ditch me for the first eight-foot tall pretty boy with a flatscreen that comes along. Knew you'd do me like that some day."
He goes over and kisses the top of her head. "I told you not to fall for me, honey. I'm a bad, bad man." He refrains from pointing out what she ditched him for.
When Jared walks into the kitchen a moment later, Sophia shoots him a poisonous look. "Homewrecker."
Jensen can't help but laugh at the baffled look on Jared's face.
Jared has a minor fracture in his hand, enough that he needs a brace and is completely unable to do any of the heavy lifting when it comes time to move into the house a week later. Jensen doesn't really care. It's not that much stuff and Misha, Clare, Sophia and Chad are all there to help. What Jensen finds most irritating is the fact that Jared keeps trying to move shit.
"Would you sit the fuck down?" Jensen snatches another box from where it's precariously balanced on Jared's arm. "We can handle it."
"Yeah, J-dog. Take it easy, man. Wouldn't want you to have to do any actual work or anything," Chad says from his position on the couch.
"You owe me help moving until the end of time," Jared says before Jensen can walk over and strangle Chad.
"Car is empty." Sophia dumps an armload of clothes on the couch, eliciting an outraged protest from Chad.
"Is there much left at the apartment?" Jensen asks.
Sophia considers it and shakes her head. "Nah, I think we can get it in one more load."
"Heh. You said load," Jared says and Sophia shoots Jensen a dirty look while Chad cracks up like that's the most hilarious thing he's ever heard.
Jensen winks at her. "Taught him everything I know."
"I take it back. I'm totally going lesbian. All men are idiots."
While the others are getting the last of Jared's stuff, Jensen tries to divide the boxes that are there into groups depending on which room they should go in. "Oh, by the way. I talked to the landlord and he said it's cool if you want to paint your room."
"Yeah?" Jared asks, then wrinkles his nose. "But my room is pink."
Jensen blinks at him. "Yeah." Sophia had painted it cotton candy pink with chocolate brown trim when she moved in, though she'd never gotten around to the unicorn mural she'd been planning. Or maybe she had actually been joking about that. Jensen could never quite tell.
"I like pink. What color is your room?"
"What? You've seen my room." Jensen flips open the flap of a box labeled "stuff" to find a random assortment of, well, stuff. "Touché," he mumbles.
"Nuh-uh." Jared walks over and pokes him in the shoulder. "You said it was too messy when you showed me the house."
"Oh." Jensen remembers that, now that Jared's said it. Really, he just wasn't sure of Jared at that point and he didn't really want him poking around his bedroom. "You want to see it?"
Jared is already halfway up the stairs by the time Jensen's finished the question.
Jensen's room is at the end of the hall. It's the bigger of the two, simply by the circumstance of rotating roommates. Sophia moved into the house when another guy moved out and Jensen took her other roommate's spot. He has no idea who the original two people in the house had been.
"Wow," Jared says, looking around Jensen's room. "This is really nice."
"Thanks." Jensen walks in behind him and tries to see his room from Jared's perspective. All he sees is the fact that he still needs to put his clean clothes away. When he looks back at Jared, Jared has an odd expression on his face. "What?"
"Nothing. Just." Jared looks away and grins. "You sort of match. The room."
"Oh." Right. That was the other reason Jensen didn't show Jared his room that first night.
He'd gotten rid of a bunch of his old furniture when he moved in with Jeff— most of it was second-hand, shitty college stuff anyway. When he moved out, he needed new stuff, but didn't care enough to actually shop for it, so he gave Clare and Sophia carte blanche to decorate his room for him. They painted the walls dark green and got sleek, dark wood furniture to match. A king-sized bed, pistachio-colored sheets and a dark brown comforter.
"Okay, seriously." Jared laughs. "I did not say anything to make you blush that hard."
"What? I'm not blushing," Jensen says weakly. He can feel his ears grow hot, though, as Jared continues to look at him gleefully.
"Right. So, you're supposed to match your room?" Jared's eyes flick down over Jensen's body and then back around the room.
"It's a sex room," Misha says from behind them, making them both jump.
"What?" Jared sounds both amused and incredulous.
"I'm gonna get a fucking bell for you, I swear."
"Jensen let Clare and Sophia decorate." Misha nods at the bed. "Everything in here was designed to make Jensen look as delectable as he can. Because he clearly needs the help."
"A sex room?" Jared looks at Jensen, eyebrows raised.
"I didn't know that's what they were going to do," Jensen says defensively. "I just wasn't in a shopping sort of mood at the time."
"A sex room." Jared looks back at the bed. Just sort of stares at it for awhile. "Huh."
Jensen looks at him and grins. "You want a sex room now, don't you?"
Jared turns to him, his eyes wide like he's horrified by the suggestion. He holds it for about three seconds before he cracks. Starts laughing and says, "I really do."
After the last of Jared's stuff is in the house, Jensen provides everyone with pizza and beer and it's sort of like a party. Except Misha and Jared are having an intense discussion about the merits of NPR and Clare and Sophia have been chatting and smiling in that way that Jensen always finds worrisome. Which leaves Jensen in Chad's company.
"So then this chick says to me—"
"I need another beer," Jensen says, cutting Chad off. He's pretty certain he doesn't want to hear the end to that story. "You want one?"
"Uh." Chad eyes his half-empty bottle and nods. "Yeah."
Jensen takes his time in the kitchen, consolidating the pizza slices into one box and throwing out the others, chucking the empty beer bottles in the recycling.
"He has no idea you hate him." Jared is leaning back against the counter, an amused smirk on his face. "He's sort of like a spastic, idiot puppy that way."
"Man." Jensen frowns at him. "You're going to guilt-trip me into being nice to him, aren't you?"
Jared laughs. "Dude, I hate to break it to you, but you're already nice to him. I'd like to see you try and be mean to someone."
"What? I'm mean. I can be mean to people." Jensen is offended by the implication. "Seriously, just because you haven't seen it yet."
"Yeah, no, I'm sure you're terrifying when you need to be. Like a fierce, angry kitten."
"Oh, fuck you." Jensen laughs. "What's with all the animal similes, anyway?" Jared's grin broadens at that. "What? Why are you smiling now?"
"You said simile instead of metaphor." Jared seems overly pleased by this. "That's just so hot." He ducks his head and looks up at Jensen through his eyelashes. "If you can diagram a sentence, I may have to throw Misha's rule out the window and ravish you right here. Oh, yes," he says before Jensen can comment. "Misha told me all about the 'no sex with roommates' rule, including its origin and complete history."
"So Chad is my punishment?"
Jared tilts his head. "Not so much punishment as justice, I think."
"Misha's just testing you. Show no fear and he'll eventually leave you alone." Jensen goes over to the fridge, grabs a couple of beers and hands one over to Jared. "As for the sentence diagramming." He waggles his eyebrows. "Can't take all of the mystery out of the relationship this early in the game."
"Goddamn, where's my beer?" Chad shouts from the living room.
"When are they going home?"
"Never," Jared says ominously.
Jensen wakes up around ten, the sun shining brightly through his window. His head is only a little fuzzy with the amount of beer he'd consumed the previous night before they'd managed to kick everyone out. He rolls out of bed, rubs his eyes and then fumbles for his glasses. When he stands, there's a twinge in his back and he's stiff and sore all over from the moving. It makes him feel old.
He pulls on a pair of pants and a t-shirt and heads downstairs for coffee and Advil. Jared is already up, sitting on the couch eating cereal and watching The Breakfast Club.
"This on TV?" Jensen asks. They'd called to have the cable hooked up last week so that it'd be all set by the time Jared moved in.
Jared shakes his head. "DVD. It's not the same with everything edited out. There's coffee."
Reminded of his objective, Jensen grunts and heads into the kitchen for a cup. He grabs the bottle of Advil and heads back out into the living room to sit down. Balancing the coffee on his knee, he dumps a couple of pills into his hand and tosses them in his mouth.
"Did you just take that with coffee?" Jared asks as Jensen swallows the pills down. "That's vile, dude."
Jensen shrugs.
"Okay." Jared pauses the movie and turns to Jensen. "So last night I had this dream where I was back in high school and I was late for a test, but then I was trapped in an underground labyrinth, like, under the school. And I kept trying to get to my class, but I couldn't find my way out and the bell kept ringing and then there were some alpacas there and I was looking for something to feed them but all I had in my pockets were poker chips." He scratches his nose. "I think my grandma was the principal, too. It was weird."
"Uh." Jensen blinks at Jared, looks down at his full cup of coffee and then back at Jared. "Okay."
"I hate dreams where I'm back in high school." Jared flops back on the couch and un-pauses the movie.
"Yeah. Me too." Jensen tries to fight the urge to smile, but when he looks over at Jared again the corner of his mouth is twitching, which makes Jensen laugh. "I don't remember what I dreamed about."
"You should write them down," Jared suggests and damn if Jensen doesn't make a mental note to dig out a notebook so that he can do just that.
Jared gets up and takes his cereal bowl into the kitchen. When he comes back, he nods at Jensen's acoustic guitar sitting in its stand in the corner. "Can you actually play that?"
"A little. I had a roommate in college who taught me some stuff."
"Play me something."
Jensen quirks his brow and then grins, the song idea hitting him almost immediately. "Yeah, alright." He sets his coffee on the floor and gets up to grab the guitar, not bothering with the strap as he sits back down and settles it on his lap. "This is one of the first things I learned."
Generally speaking, Jensen doesn't really enjoy playing in front of other people. Guitar was something he always wanted to learn because it seemed like fun, not because he had a burning desire to perform. It makes him feel a little self-conscious— he's not great and it bothers him for people to see him doing something he doesn't excel at.
Somehow, though, Jared sitting right next to him watching him intently doesn't ping his self-consciousness. It only makes him bite his bottom lip in an attempt to hide his smile as he plays the opening chords. His smile breaks free when he starts singing, "Well I'm a long tall Texan, I wear a ten-gallon hat". Jared starts laughing and Jensen barely makes it through the entire first verse before he joins in.
He sits back and scratches his neck. "I don't exactly have Lyle Lovett's voice."
"You arrogant sonofabitch." Jared rubs his hand over his mouth, the corners turned up in obvious amusement. "Exactly how many hands do you think God ought to give with?"
"Not sure I follow."
"Man, have you seen Lyle Lovett? And you sit there, prettiest fucker I've ever met on top of being funny and smarter than everyone else and you say, 'Oh, I don't sound like Lyle Lovett'." Jared shakes his head. "I should punch you right in the Goddamn mouth for that."
Jensen laughs, unaccountably flattered at Jared telling him he's pretty and smart and funny like that makes him the world's biggest asshole. It's not like either one of them is unaware that they're attracted to each other, but having Jared so easily acknowledge and dismiss it in one breath makes Jensen feel warm and happy all over. "Jealousy is not a good look on you, man."
"Jealousy?" Jared shakes his head. "No, no. I speak as someone who also got a multiple hand job from God."
The look on Jared's face makes it clear that he didn't think that statement entirely through before it came out of his mouth. Jensen laughs so hard that his inability to breathe becomes a legitimate concern.
"Whatever." Jared stands and swings his arms in front of him like he's working the kinks out of his shoulders and tilts his head from side to side. "Allow me to demonstrate. I have no musical talents, but I am well-versed in the seductive art of dance. A little music, please?"
"Sure. Uh." Jensen starts strumming, basic and rhythmic and manages to play for almost a minute after Jared starts dancing before he gives in to another fit of laughter.
Jared's dancing makes him look like a drunken, deranged marionette, his arms swooping from side-to-side as he swivels his hips and puckers his lips in an absurd fish-face. When Jensen breaks off playing, Jared jumps, claps his hands and says, "Jump, shake your booty! Jump, jump, shake your booty!" He jumps around in a circle, waggling his ass and completing a full rotation before stopping as Jensen laughs himself sick on the couch.
"Now," Jared says as Jensen is busy wiping away his tears. "I'm sure you're feeling a little overwhelmed by your desire for me, but I'm going to have to ask you to try and contain yourself. For the sake of roommate harmony."
"I'll try my best."
Jensen is still guffawing as he puts his guitar back on his stand. He can't remember the last time he laughed quite so hard. When he sits back down, Jared is reclining back, tucked into the corner of the couch with a large, pleased grin on his face. Jensen knows he looks just as stupidly happy.
Jensen manages to put Kristen off for a week after Jared moves in, thinks he'll make it to the weekend until Jared shows up at his office Friday afternoon at quitting time when Kristen is there.
"Come on," Kristen is saying. "I want to meet him!"
"You've met him," Jensen points out. "You were never this eager to hang out with Sophia."
Kristen blows her bangs out of her face and glares at him. "Sophia and I were competing for top hag billing. Jared is entirely different. Jared is—"
"Here." Jensen sighs in defeat at Kristen's delighted look.
"Jared!" She bounces up to him as he walks in the door and smiles winningly. "What are you doing tonight? We're going out! You should come with us!"
It isn't worth it for Jensen to point out to Kristen that he hadn't actually agreed to go out with her tonight. Her mind is made up and she can be annoyingly persistent when she wants to be. He just shrugs as Jared glances at him.
"Uh, sure." Jared hitches his backpack up further on his shoulder and smiles. "Sounds like fun."
"Awesome!" Kristen bounces and backs toward the door, snapping and pointing at Jensen. "Eight o'clock? Usual place?"
Jensen flips her off and she laughs and skips out of the office, obnoxious and adorable at the same time. Jensen has to grin.
"Am I being screened?" Jared asks as Jensen packs up his stuff.
"I guess." Jensen shuts down his computer and shoulders his own bag. "Might as well get it over with."
"Doesn't sound ominous at all."
"More for me than you. Kristen is the holder of all my unsavory secrets."
Jared laughs. "Like your clown fetish?" He claps a hand on Jensen's shoulder. "Don't worry. I don't judge. Out loud."
"You're a true friend," Jensen says sardonically and Jared laughs again. Maybe the evening won't be as bad as all that.
Jensen and Kristen's usual bar is near campus. Kristen likes it because they have decent mixed drinks; Jensen likes it because of the hot bartender who is usually working. Jared looks dubious about the place until he sees the selection of beers they have on tap.
They settle at a table in the corner and Jensen sits back as Kristen attempts to overwhelm Jared with her bouncy friendliness, except that it's Jared, and his puppyish enthusiasm is more than Kristen's match. Jensen sort of feels like he's in the middle of a pep-off. He's pretty content to sit and listen, getting quietly buzzed until he looks up and sees that his hot bartender is here after all.
"Oh, no. Jensen, c'mon," Kristen says, drawing him back into the conversation.
"C'mon what?"
"I thought you weren't on the prowl tonight."
"I'm not on the prowl. Jesus," Jensen says, but his eyes flick back to the bar as he speaks. He wets his lips with the tip of his tongue when he catches the bartender's eye. When he looks back at Kristen, she has one eyebrow raised in a way that makes Jensen think she practices that expression in front of the mirror.
"I feel like I'm missing something here." Jared is looking between Kristen and Jensen, his expression openly curious.
Kristen huffs and turns to him. "Jensen's been eyefucking the bartender here for like six months now."
"But I always end up making sure you get home safe and sound over closing the deal," Jensen points out testily. He feels a little embarrassed about his bartender thing being pointed out in front of Jared. Not that Jared doesn't know he hooks up or anything, but it still feels weird.
"Yeah, well, considering you're supposed to be hanging out with me to begin with…" Kristen lets the sentence hang and it has its desired effect. Jensen feels properly guilty.
"Okay, fine. I'm sorry." He glances back at the bar, eyes catching on the bartender again. The guy is ridiculously hot. Curly, sandy blond hair, a sort of Little Women era Christian Bale look about him. He has a full sleeve tattoo on his left arm and a tongue piercing. Jensen can't help himself. "But would you guys deny me that? Really?" He slouches down in his seat and looks away when the bartender looks up at him and grins.
"Point," Kristen says and Jared snorts in response.
"Right, so." Jensen flashes them a grin and pushes away from the table. "Anyone want another drink?"
"If I thought you might actually come back to the table, I would say yes." Kristen scowls at him, but she still looks amused.
"You're the best hag ever. Totally better than Sophia." Jensen kisses the side of her head and reaches out to pat Jared's shoulder. "You good getting her home?"
Jared looks surprised by the question, but he nods as Kristen says, "Gee, thanks, Dad. I am actually a fully-functioning adult. I expect a report," she adds as he walks away.
Jensen looks back and winks before heading over and elbowing his way to a space at the bar.
Jared is awake when Jensen gets home, just back from a run by the looks of it. He raises an eyebrow in question as Jensen flops down on the couch and groans.
"Good time?" he asks, sitting down next to him.
Jensen pinches the bridge of his nose and tries to decide what he desires most at the moment—coffee, sleep, more whiskey, or a time machine to go back to last night and have a do-over. "What the fuck is wrong with guys?"
"That's not a loaded question or anything." Jared leans back and fixes him with a considering look. "It was that bad?"
"When the best thing you can say about sex is that it's better than jacking off, someone is doing something wrong. When you can't even say that?" If ever there was a night to perfectly illustrate the hazards of drinking too much, last night would be it. Jensen should have bowed out when the guy started talking about his awesome band.
Jared winces. "Ouch."
"Dude was a talker, too. 'Yeah, baby. Take it! You like that?'" he mimics, scowling. "Which would be fine if he was getting it done in the meantime. As it was, he did not have the moves to back up his mouth." When Jensen looks at Jared again, Jared seems taken aback. "What?"
"Nothing. Just, uh." Jared huffs out a laugh. "Really detailed account of your sex life. There's a picture in my head." He waves his hand.
"Oh. Sorry. I'm used to bitching at Sophia." Jensen wipes a hand over his face, feeling the embarrassed heat in his cheeks. "Besides, I thought your friend already filled you in on the details of my sex life."
"Not quite that detailed. It was more, 'Holy shit, Jared. This guy is like the god of sex,'" Jared says in a breathy, flustered voice before cracking a grin. "And something about how you kept trying to get him to dress up like a clown."
"Yeah, well." Jensen chuckles. "I'm not going to argue the first part and the second part is none of your fucking business. I'm a fantastic lay." He sighs. "If only I could find someone to appreciate it."
Jared pats his knee as he stands up. "Come on, now. I'm sure Mr. Take It, Baby appreciated it."
"Okay, someone who can properly express his appreciation," Jensen calls after him as Jared disappears into the kitchen. "Hey, is there coffee?" He pushes off the couch and follows after Jared.
In the kitchen, Jared is already pouring milk in Jensen's coffee for him. "That's what you get for being shallow," he says as he hands the mug over.
"I'm sorry. What do you base your drunken hook-ups on?" Jensen leans back against the counter and takes a tentative sip. The coffee is a tad too hot yet, but he doesn't really care.
"I don't really. Hook up, that is." Jared glances at him and then turns to put the milk back in the fridge. "Not that I haven't ever, but, um. Yeah."
"Oh." Jensen watches Jared move around the kitchen out of the corner of his eyes, trying to gauge how Jared means that. He can't really find any judgment in Jared's tone, but he feels the prickle of it anyway. Three different comments pop into his head, but he bites them back because they are so obviously defensive.
Jared finally looks back at him and runs his hand through his hair. "It's not like—I'm not good at it. I just don't." He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "Okay, ignore me now."
Jensen smiles into his coffee and shrugs. "My bedroom doesn't have a revolving door or anything."
"I wouldn't care if it did." Jared sounds sincere enough and Jensen can feel him looking at him, but he keeps his gazed focused on a spot on the kitchen floor as he nods. Finally, Jared kicks Jensen's ankle with his bare foot. "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm kind of a spaz. I'm not good at picking guys up like that."
"Yeah." Jensen laughs without effort at that as he gives Jared a once-over. "I can see how you'd have problems."
"It's hard to be me," Jared agrees. He leans his hip against the counter next to Jensen and ducks his head, looking up through his bangs. "If you'd tried to pick me up before, I wouldn't have said no."
"Before?" Jensen asks, a little thrown by the uncharacteristically coy look on Jared's face.
"Before I knew about your clown fetish." Jared dances back out of reach as Jensen laughs and tries to kick him.
"I thought you were straight." Jensen says it with a smile, but he's dead serious. Had he known at all that Jared was gay, sex definitely would have happened. He feels a jolt of arousal before pushing the thought from his mind.
"Yeah, well." Jared licks his lips. "I guess things worked out like they were supposed to."
Jensen nods. "Guess so."
"Right! I'm going to take a shower now."
"Right." Jensen finishes his coffee with one gulp and watches Jared disappear into the bathroom. He tries not to think about Jared wet and naked under the spray of water as he pads up to his bedroom. It would be a lot easier if hot bartender Oliver had given him anything to work with. As it is, on top of being a bad lay, Jensen's pretty sure the guy ruined Christian Bale for him as well.
On Monday Jensen tells Kristen that they're going to have to find a new bar.
"I am completely shocked by this turn of events," she says dryly. "That bad?"
"Worse. I don't want to talk about it."
Kristen cocks her head at him and narrows her eyes. "Hey, Jensen. Here's a crazy idea. Did you ever consider dating Jared?"
"I don't care what anyone else says, your subtlety is one of your more endearing qualities." Jensen shifts through his inbox to see if there's anything that is important enough for him to actually be working right now.
"Seriously. I mean, he's hot, funny, smart, charming..."
Jensen sighs and looks up at her. "Oh, Tinkerbell. I appreciate the thought, I really do." He even means that. "But, no. I'm not dating Jared."
"Why—" She stops when Jensen holds up his hand.
"Look, the thing is, it's been a long time since I've had a friend like Jared. He's a Texas boy." Jensen smirks at himself, feeling a little dickish for even saying that. Before he met Jared, he considered that a drawback. "We get along and it's easy and he gets it."
"It?"
"Yeah," Jensen says, choosing to not elaborate. "So, he's a good friend and I don't feel like fucking that up by trying to date him."
Kristen frowns like she wants to protest but can't quite figure out how. "What makes you so sure that it'd fuck things up?"
"Empirical data?" Jensen shakes his head. "Even if I did want to, I'm not—Jared's the kind of guy you take home to your parents. I'm not."
"Jensen." Kristen's frown deepens. "You don't actually think that, do you?"
Before Jensen has to remind Kristen that, yeah, he really is the one-night-stand, dirty little secret guy and not anyone's Mr. Right, the phone rings. Jensen picks it up immediately, grateful for the interruption. Unfortunately, it's a wrong number.
"Look, I'm just saying I think Jared's good for you," Kristen says when Jensen hangs up.
"I agree." Jensen leans back in his chair and folds his hands over his stomach. "He's a good friend. And I need all of those I can get, what with you running off to further your education and Sophia playing house with Chad."
"Point taken. Consider the subject dropped."
"Gladly," Jensen says and Kristen sticks out her tongue at him.
It doesn't take long for Jensen to realize how absurdly tactile a person Jared is. He thinks nothing of coming up to Jensen on campus and giving him a full-body hug, wrapping around him like a Koala Bear clinging to a tree. It's a little much by Texas standards, completely freakish in Seattle and something Jensen quickly starts to take for granted.
Jensen didn't realize how self-contained he's become since leaving home. Kristen, Sophia and Clare don't mind his petting on them, but he's completely hands-off with all of his guy friends, even Misha. For as long as they've known each other, they rarely touch outside of the occasional clap on the shoulder.
Jared reminds him how much he misses casual physical affection, the kind that is completely removed from sex. His physicality relaxes Jensen in a weird way. As far as he can tell, it's pretty Jared-specific.
"You really have gone native, haven't you?" Jared asks, wrapping his arms around Jensen's waist, peering over his shoulder as Jensen adds avocado to their omelets. They've fallen into a weekend routine— whoever is up first on Sunday makes breakfast. It usually works out in Jensen's favor. Today is one of the off days. "So I had this dream." Jared doesn't move away, just sets his chin on Jensen's shoulder so that his voice is a low rumble in Jensen's ear. "I was a mermaid."
"Merman?"
"Nope. I was a chick. I had the seashell bra and shit."
Jensen laughs and he can feel Jared's grin in the way his chin presses down into Jensen's shoulder. "That right there," Jensen says, gesturing with the spatula he's holding. "That's why you're my best friend."
"Yeah?" Jared sounds terribly happy about that and it takes a minute for Jensen to realize why.
"Well, that and your ability to reach the top shelf." Jensen feels a little embarrassed. That Jared is his best friend is true enough, but Jared seems far more pleased than the admission warrants.
Jared laughs and plants a sloppy, wet kiss against Jensen's cheek. "I love you too. Even when you make me green eggs."
"Keep talking and you won't get any eggs." Jensen elbows Jared away and wipes his cheek against his arm in an attempt to dry it off. "Go sit down. It's too hot in here for your nonsense."
"So I'm this mermaid, right? And I'm supposed to be in class taking a test, but I haven't been to any of the lectures all quarter." Jared pulls out one of the chairs at the kitchen table and flops down. "It kind of blew."
"You have a lot of those dreams."
"Tell me about it. I'm so ready for summer."
They're coming to the end of the quarter soon and Jared has already got a full time summer job lined up at Starbucks. Jensen would mock him for that, but the gig is actually perfectly suited to his personality.
"And what will you dream about when you don't have any more finals?" Jensen asks, pulling the pan off the heat.
"Oh, I'll still dream about being a mermaid, but I'll be, like, frolicking with unicorns or something. Figuring out the mysteries of how mermaids have sex. You know, cool stuff."
Jensen smirks at Jared as he sets his omelet down in front of him and takes his own seat.
"What?" Jared asks.
"You're the super-coolest guy I know," Jensen says.
Jared snorts. "I've met your friends, Jen. Don't think I don't know that's true."
"You are going to be in so much trouble when I tell them that." Jensen grins at the face Jared makes and eats his eggs.
Next
Spring 2005 – Spring 2007
"Would you just stop and think about it? I mean, really think about it." Jensen surveys the boxes scattered around the room, haphazardly packed in a way that makes him twitch with the urge to dump them all out and start over again. "I'm begging you to reconsider."
"I have reconsidered." Sophia says blithely. "I turned down his marriage proposal. Moving in with him is the compromise."
"Are you sure breaking up with him isn't the compromise?" Jensen pinches the bridge of his nose against the headache threatening behind his eyes. "I mean, it's Chad. He was supposed to be a rebound fuck. What happened there?"
Sophia gives him an exasperated look. "If you're going to bitch at me, the least you can do is help." She gestures at the stuff in her room that has yet to be shoved into a random box.
Jensen grabs one of the smaller boxes and walks over to the bookshelf and sits down on the floor. He starts pulling books off of the shelf and packing them according to size. "I just think you're making the wrong decision," he says, which is ninety percent true. The other ten percent is that he doesn't want to deal with the hassle of getting another roommate. He's lived with Sophia since he moved out of Jeff's place three years ago. They work well together and now she's running off to live with the biggest tool Jensen's ever met.
"You hide it well." She chucks a pair of socks at his head and sticks out her tongue. "He's really not that bad once you get to know him."
"Oh come on! The guy is a world-class dick. You can't possibly expect me to believe you have a functional relationship." He shoves another handful of books in the box with more force than necessary. "I'm the one who hears about all the drama, remember?"
"Stuff it, Ackles. You wouldn't know a functional relationship if it bit you in the ass. When's the last time you actually dated someone? Last I checked, fucking a married professor doesn't count." Jensen looks up sharply at that and Sophia seems completely horrified. "Jensen, I didn't mean that."
Jensen throws the books he's holding in the box and stands up. "Pack your own shit," he says as he walks out of the room.
It'll take her at least three minutes to navigate her way out of the maze of crap she has piled around her. He considers leaving the house, but he's learned that with Sophia it's better to just have it out right away, so he heads into the kitchen to make a sandwich while he waits, despite the fact that he's not hungry at all now.
The professor thing was a year and half ago and it still tops the list of Jensen's personal fuck-ups, which is saying quite a bit. He had no idea the guy was married when they started hooking up— Jensen can't think if it as dating anymore. He stupidly thought that they were keeping it a secret because they both worked at the university. Then, about two months into things, Jensen ran into him at Pike's Place Market, said hi before he realized that the woman with him was his wife and she was carrying their six month-old baby girl.
There has been no other point in his life where Jensen felt like more of a worthless piece of shit than he did at that moment, making obligatory small talk with a woman whose husband he'd been fucking for months.
Jensen stopped dating after that.
"I'm sorry." Sophia wraps her arms around Jensen's waist from behind and presses up against his back. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, Jensen. I mean, I think you're being an asshole about Chad, but that was uncalled for."
"It's fine, Soph." Jensen sighs. "Want a sandwich?"
"It's not fine. The guy was a creep. That wasn't your fault. What kind of sandwich?"
"Salami." Jensen turns around and hands her the plate. "I'm sorry I'm being a dick about Chad."
"But you still hate him?" she asks around a mouthful of salami.
"With every fiber of my being." Jensen kisses her head. "But if you want to live with him..."
Sophia looks amused. "You can't even finish that sentence, can you?"
"I just really hate that guy." Jensen pulls her into a one-armed hug. "Guys suck. You should date Danny."
"You know not all girls are lesbians at heart, right?" She relaxes against him and finishes her sandwich. When she's done, she says, "And not all guys suck. You should maybe try actual dating again someday."
"Nah," Jensen says casually. It's not that he's against the idea of dating, but he's had a bad run. He doesn't want to be the crazy, neurotic guy who steals his boyfriend's cell phone to check for suspicious messages and after the affair, he was definitely headed that way. Sex is a lot less complicated.
"Jensen, I'm serious. I want you to be happy." Sophia frowns up at him.
He sighs. "I'm not unhappy."
"It's not the same thing."
"Yeah, I know." Before the conversation can turn maudlin, he adds, "I'd be a lot happier if I didn't have to find a new roommate. You know I can't afford this place alone."
That isn't entirely true, but Sophia waits tables at an upscale restaurant downtown and, on a really good night, can bring home more than Jensen does in a week. It's something Jensen tries not to think about directly, it only makes him wonder where exactly his life went wrong.
"I already told you, you should meet Chad's roommate. I think you'd like him. He's from Texas."
"Yeah." Jensen says slowly. "I just keep missing the positive aspects of douchebag Chad's friend from Texas. I moved away from Texas," he reminds her.
"Jared's a good guy. I promise he's not a creepy mouth-breather." She kicks his shin lightly. "Jesus, do you think I'm stupid enough to recommend someone I think you'd hate?"
Jensen shrugs. "I don't know, maybe you have an ulterior motive. Like, say, the fact that you're moving into that apartment and you want the dude out of there?" He points at her. "Your taste in people is suspect now."
"It was suspect when I started hanging out with you." She grabs his finger and twists it back hard. "Just meet him is all I'm asking."
"Ow, shit, Sophia. Okay. I'll meet with him. Let me go." Jensen snatches his hand back and rubs his finger as soon as she releases him. "I'm not making any promises, though. I don't like him and you're going to have to find some other sucker to pawn him off on."
"You're the best!" She goes up on her tiptoes and kisses his cheek. "Really."
"How's the forecast for the weekend?" Kristen asks, walking into Jensen's office without so much as a hello. She comes around his desk and sits on the edge, crossing her ankles in front of her. "Gym bunny? Or is it more of a club boy kind of weekend?"
"Tinkerbell!" Jensen leans back in his chair and grins. Of his friends at work, Kristen is far and away his favorite. She works in financial aid, but she just got accepted into WSU's Veterinary program, so she'll be leaving in the fall. Jensen will be sad to see her go. "I don't know. I might lay low this weekend."
"Jensen, I'm disappointed." She bumps his knee with her leg. "I rely on you to provide salacious stories through which I might live vicariously. What am I supposed to do when you lay low? Or is that some sort of euphemism?"
Jensen sighs and rolls his eyes. "I'm supposed to meet with some friend of Chad's as a possible roommate. I have a feeling I'll need some time to recover from that."
"Douchebag Chad? You're kidding." Kristen is his favorite in part because he can bitch to her about all the things Sophia won't let him get away with. "How did you get roped into that?"
"No idea."
"Well." She pushes herself away from the desk and stands. "If you're not going to provide me with any gossip— Hey. Isn't that Fantasy Gym Guy?"
Jensen looks out the window where she's nodding and sighs. "Oh, yeah. That's him." Fantasy Gym Guy falls under the category of, probably straight, most likely a dick, but oh so nice to look at. Jensen sees him all the time at the student gym, working out with Hot Tiny Brunette Girl.
"It looks like he's coming in here."
"No shit," Jensen mutters as the door opens. "Can I help you?"
Fantasy Gym Guy looks startled to find Jensen there. "Uh." He looks back down at the paper he's holding, makes a surprisingly bitchy face and then looks back up. "I'm looking for Jensen?" he asks in a please tell me that's not you tone of voice.
"I'm Jensen."
"Right." Fantasy Gym Guy smirks. "Okay. Hi, I'm Chad's friend, Jared. Sophia said I could find you here."
That Jensen was not expecting. Next to him, Kristen makes a high-pitched squeaking sound, like she can't quite believe how de-fucking-lightful her life just got.
"Hi. Okay, right. Hi." Jensen shoots Kristen a dirty look as she continues to make creepy noises in the back of her throat.
"If this is a bad time…" Jared points at the door.
"No, it's fine. Kristen was just leaving."
"Oh, God. I really was." Kristen's eyes are suspiciously bright. "Jared, it is fantastic to meet you." She beams at him and shakes his hand. "Jensen! We'll talk." She makes a call me sign once she's beyond Jared's line of sight.
"I feel like I missed something," Jared says once she leaves.
"She's high," Jensen tells him. "Um, I have about half an hour left and then we can go and you can have a look at the house?" There's no way he sees this working, but he feels obligated to offer.
"Yeah, sure. I'll just." Jared runs his hand through his hair and points at the door again. He turns to walk out, then stops and turns back. "Look, I'm guessing that Sophia kind of forced you into this, so if you want to back out, that's fine. No harm, no foul."
Jensen laughs and it's mostly genuine. "Oh, she totally did. But whatever. You should at least come see the place, see if you'd even be interested." Jensen's smile falls as it occurs to him that maybe Jared was looking for an out. That maybe Sophia told him Jensen was gay and he's caught Jensen checking him out at the gym, which would be unfortunate. "Unless you don't want to. Which is cool."
"No, no! I do! That's awesome! I. Yeah." Jared grins, this bright huge smile that's a little startling. "Okay, I'm usually not this awkward. Or, y'know. Maybe I am but people seem to find it endearing."
"I'll keep that in mind," Jensen says.
"So, here's the thing," Jared says on the bus ride back to the house. "I'm guessing you hate Chad. You seem like a reasonable person," he adds at Jensen's questioning look. "I'm just asking that you don't base your impression of me on the fact that I'm friends with him."
Jensen laughs.
"I mean, you like Sophia, right? And she actually has sex with him. I just live with the guy." Jared grins triumphantly at his brilliant display of logic.
"I'll make you a deal." Jensen arranges his features into as serious an expression as he can manage. "You don't use the word 'sex' in reference to him again and I'll give you a fair shot."
Jared laughs with his whole body and Jensen thinks this might not be as bad as he was expecting. He already sort of likes the guy.
After Jensen shows Jared around the house, he asks, "Do you have any questions?"
"Do you have plans for the night?"
"Um. Not really," Jensen says cautiously.
Jared nods for a moment. "We need to go drinking, then. It's the best roommate litmus test around. Trust me."
Jensen snorts. "Were you drunk when you agreed to live with Chad?"
"So drunk." Jared laughs. "So so drunk. I've never been so drunk in my life." He pauses, tilts his head and says, "We may have been drinking absinthe."
"I think there's a flaw in your litmus test."
"You in?" Jared asks like Jensen hadn't said anything at all.
"Yeah," Jensen finds himself agreeing. "Why the hell not?"
They end up at a small bar a few streets over that Jensen's never been to. They order buffalo wings, mozzarella sticks, and Coronas. Jared tells him about grad school and they exchange growing-up-in-Texas stories. Jensen begrudgingly admits to himself that Sophia was right. Jared seems like a good guy.
About six or so beers in, Jared says, "I have a confession to make."
Jensen raises an eyebrow and nods for him to continue.
"Yeah, so you totally slept with a friend of mine like six months ago."
"Oh." Jensen blinks and looks down at his bottle. "Awkward."
"Right?" Jared wrinkles his nose. "So he wouldn't shut up about it for awhile and then I kept seeing you in the gym and I'd think, 'There's the dude Michael hooked up with' and then when I walked into the office this afternoon, y'know. Awkward."
"Yeah, okay." Jensen feels oddly disappointed. "If the gay sex thing makes you uncomfortable—"
"Uh," Jared cuts him off, laughing. "That would suck for me, being gay and all. Do I seem that neurotic?"
"What?" Jensen feels like he missed several parts of this conversation. "I'm so confused."
"I'm sorry." Jared frowns. "I figured Sophia would've told you. I'm gay."
"You're gay?"
"Yeah, I. Yeah. I thought you knew that." The corner of his mouth quirks up. "Does that make you uncomfortable?"
"No." Jensen shakes his head, more to clear it than in denial. "I just figured you were very very straight."
"Based on what?"
"Hot Tiny Brunette Girl," Jensen says. "From the gym."
Jared laughs. "Gen? No, she's just a friend. Who will be delighted by that nickname, by the way." He tilts his head. "What's mine?"
"So, I fucked your friend?" Jensen asks.
"Subject change duly noted." Jared claps his hands in delight. "I'm going to order tequila and ask again in an hour, but to answer your question, yes. You hooked up with my friend, Michael. Clean-cut, sweet-faced All-American sort of guy."
Jensen nods like he has some idea of who Jared's talking about. "And he told you all about it?" Not that Jensen can actually complain on that front. He tells Kristen and Sophia about most of his hook-ups. But, in his defense, they don't date out of the same pool.
"He sang your praises quite highly." Jared waggles his brows and bumps his shoulder against Jensen's. Waits until Jensen takes a sip of his beer to say, "Your nickname is Too Pretty to Live, by the way." He thumps Jensen on the back as Jensen splutters.
"Interestingly, that's also my Indian Princess name," Jensen says when he can speak again.
When the waitress comes back, Jared orders a round of tequila.
Three hours later, they're running down the street, trying to put as much distance between them and the bar as possible.
"Hey, hold up." Jared ducks into a gap between two buildings, not quite big enough to be considered an alley.
Jensen follows him, stumbling only a little. He leans back against the wall to catch his breath, takes one look at Jared and starts laughing.
"Dude!" Jared shushes him, the noise uneven through his own laughter.
"You got us into a bar fight," Jensen states. "In Seattle. I didn't even know that was possible."
"Guy shouldn't have been talkin' 'bout my momma like that." Jared wipes his thumb against his nose and makes a tough guy face.
Jensen snorts. "No one said shit about your momma."
"Yeah, well, when I tell that story later, they did."
"I can't— You're—" Jensen shakes his head, completely unable to articulate just what Jared is.
"I'm awesome, right?" Jared beams at him, all happy and puppyish. It's absurd. "Come on. When's the last time you had that much fun?"
"I don't know, man." Jensen shakes his head. He honestly can't remember.
"So I'm in, right?" Jared nods his head. "You can tell me. I'm totally in."
It takes a minute for Jensen to remember that he's talking about the roommate thing. He has no doubt at all that he could live with Jared, but he hesitates. Has the momentary urge to take a step, close the gap between them and kiss Jared for all he's worth. Run his fingers through that ridiculous floppy hair and lick into his mouth until they're both panting for a different reason entirely. There's not a doubt in his mind that Jared would open up for him, sweet and easy as anything.
But Jensen likes Jared, so he stays where he is and smiles. "You're totally in."
"Yes!" Jared pumps his fist in the air. "You first official duty as my roommate will be to take me to the hospital tomorrow. I'm pretty sure that guy broke my hand with his face."
"What?" Jensen takes a step closer. "Let me see."
"You got x-ray vision, Superman?" Jared shoves him away and walks back out onto the sidewalk.
"Jackass," Jensen says easily, falling into step beside him. "I think the house is back this way. You crashing on the couch?"
"If that's cool?"
"Yeah. Actually, I think Sophia's bed is still set up, so you can sleep there." They walk in silence for a minute and Jensen has to laugh at himself. "Fantasy Gym Guy."
"What?" Jared looks startled.
"Your nickname. It was Fantasy Gym Guy."
"Okay, I'm curious." Jared waves his hand. "Please elaborate."
"Because I figured the fantasy was far better than the reality could ever be." Jensen looks at Jared out of the corner of his eye to see how he'll react to that.
Jared laughs and wraps his good arm around Jensen's shoulder. "Man, how much do you hate being that wildly wrong about something?" Instead of waiting for an answer, he launches into an extremely off-key rendition of Rod Stewart's Da Ya Think I'm Sexy, singing the chorus over and over until they reach the house.
There's a fifty-fifty chance that Jensen is really going to hate himself in the morning.
"Jensen." There's an obnoxious poking at his shoulder and another sing-song, "Jensen." It's Sophia's smug shorthand for, You must now admit defeat.
Jensen is willing to admit defeat, just not this early in the morning. He reaches out blindly, but Sophia easily evades him.
"There's a boy in my room, Jensen," she chirps. "A gift?"
"S'Jared." Jensen opens one eye and then shuts it again. Too bright. "It's Jared, right?" He mumbles. "Tell me that's actually Jared and I don't have a stalker."
"It's Jared." Sophia sits on the edge of the mattress. "And he's in my bed."
"You weren't using it."
She pokes him again. "He's in my bed. Not yours." When Jensen manages to open both eyes this time, it's to find Sophia beaming at him like a proud mother. "I feel like you're growing as a person!"
"Yeah, well." Jensen doesn't actually feel that bad, all things considered, so, he's probably still drunk. "I am capable of keeping it in my pants."
"What you can do and what you do do are two different things. So last night went well, I take it?"
Jensen snorts. "You said doodoo."
"Right, okay. I see the level we're playing at now." She starts to get up, but Jensen grabs her arm.
"Sorry. Yeah. You were right. Seems like a good guy." It's usually best to tell Sophia when she's right before she has the chance to prompt him. "You didn't tell me he was gay, though."
"Yeah, I wanted you to actually get to know him."
"Jesus." Jensen wipes his hand over his face and sits up. "You make it sound like— I don't know. I'm not that bad, am I?"
"No, not bad. You just don't always find them worth talking to before you fuck them."
"Yeah, well, sometimes they're not." He grins at her and then stops immediately because it makes his head throb. "Anyway, he can stay. Your meddling has paid off." He waves a hand in her direction.
"You're a prince among men, Jensen Ackles." Sophia grabs his hand and kisses it. "Come downstairs and I'll make you breakfast. Did you douse your room in liquor last night or is that all coming from you, by the way?"
"I'll shower."
The bathroom is off of the kitchen, so Jensen grabs a clean pair of boxers and sweats and heads downstairs. Sophia is already digging around in the cabinets with very little regard for how loud the sound of pots banging together is on the bad side of a bottle of tequila. He takes long enough in the shower for most of that to be done by the time he steps out of the bathroom.
"You are going to feel like so much shit in about three hours," Sophia says from her position at the stove.
"Totally worth it," Jared calls from the living room. Jensen finds him standing in front of the couch with his arm cradled against his chest, looking at the wall in confusion. "Shouldn't there be, y'know. A TV here?"
"Sophia doesn't believe in them," Jensen says. "I have a small one up in my room, but we don't have cable or anything."
Jared turns to look at him with a full-on kicked puppy expression. "But where do you watch football?"
Sophia walks in the room just in time to hear that and rolls her eyes. "Jesus, it's a match made in heaven. God forbid you not be able to watch your precious football." She hands the cup of coffee she's holding over to Jensen.
"Quit your sass, woman, and go make us bacon," Jensen says. Sophia glares at him and walks back into the kitchen.
Jared laughs quietly once she's out of earshot, because he's obviously smarter than Jensen.
Jensen takes a sip of his coffee and grins. "Yeah, that's gonna get me punched later." He cocks his head at Jared. "We can totally get a TV."
"I totally have a TV!" Jared says. "Well, I mean, it's half mine, half Chad's. But since Sophia doesn't believe in TVs..."
Jensen hums thoughtfully. "Go on."
"Big, flatscreen. Like you're on the field with them." Jared licks his lips. "It's—"
"Pornographic?" Jensen supplies.
"Yeah," Jared says in a distant, wistful sort of way. Like he's in awe just thinking about it. He comes back to himself and adds, "I have an Xbox too."
"Yeah." Jensen nods as much as he can get away with without making his head throb. "Yeah, I think this'll work out just fine." He pats Jared's shoulder and walks back into the kitchen. "I'm sorry, Sophia. You've been replaced."
"I'm heartbroken," she says dryly. "Ditch me for the first eight-foot tall pretty boy with a flatscreen that comes along. Knew you'd do me like that some day."
He goes over and kisses the top of her head. "I told you not to fall for me, honey. I'm a bad, bad man." He refrains from pointing out what she ditched him for.
When Jared walks into the kitchen a moment later, Sophia shoots him a poisonous look. "Homewrecker."
Jensen can't help but laugh at the baffled look on Jared's face.
Jared has a minor fracture in his hand, enough that he needs a brace and is completely unable to do any of the heavy lifting when it comes time to move into the house a week later. Jensen doesn't really care. It's not that much stuff and Misha, Clare, Sophia and Chad are all there to help. What Jensen finds most irritating is the fact that Jared keeps trying to move shit.
"Would you sit the fuck down?" Jensen snatches another box from where it's precariously balanced on Jared's arm. "We can handle it."
"Yeah, J-dog. Take it easy, man. Wouldn't want you to have to do any actual work or anything," Chad says from his position on the couch.
"You owe me help moving until the end of time," Jared says before Jensen can walk over and strangle Chad.
"Car is empty." Sophia dumps an armload of clothes on the couch, eliciting an outraged protest from Chad.
"Is there much left at the apartment?" Jensen asks.
Sophia considers it and shakes her head. "Nah, I think we can get it in one more load."
"Heh. You said load," Jared says and Sophia shoots Jensen a dirty look while Chad cracks up like that's the most hilarious thing he's ever heard.
Jensen winks at her. "Taught him everything I know."
"I take it back. I'm totally going lesbian. All men are idiots."
While the others are getting the last of Jared's stuff, Jensen tries to divide the boxes that are there into groups depending on which room they should go in. "Oh, by the way. I talked to the landlord and he said it's cool if you want to paint your room."
"Yeah?" Jared asks, then wrinkles his nose. "But my room is pink."
Jensen blinks at him. "Yeah." Sophia had painted it cotton candy pink with chocolate brown trim when she moved in, though she'd never gotten around to the unicorn mural she'd been planning. Or maybe she had actually been joking about that. Jensen could never quite tell.
"I like pink. What color is your room?"
"What? You've seen my room." Jensen flips open the flap of a box labeled "stuff" to find a random assortment of, well, stuff. "Touché," he mumbles.
"Nuh-uh." Jared walks over and pokes him in the shoulder. "You said it was too messy when you showed me the house."
"Oh." Jensen remembers that, now that Jared's said it. Really, he just wasn't sure of Jared at that point and he didn't really want him poking around his bedroom. "You want to see it?"
Jared is already halfway up the stairs by the time Jensen's finished the question.
Jensen's room is at the end of the hall. It's the bigger of the two, simply by the circumstance of rotating roommates. Sophia moved into the house when another guy moved out and Jensen took her other roommate's spot. He has no idea who the original two people in the house had been.
"Wow," Jared says, looking around Jensen's room. "This is really nice."
"Thanks." Jensen walks in behind him and tries to see his room from Jared's perspective. All he sees is the fact that he still needs to put his clean clothes away. When he looks back at Jared, Jared has an odd expression on his face. "What?"
"Nothing. Just." Jared looks away and grins. "You sort of match. The room."
"Oh." Right. That was the other reason Jensen didn't show Jared his room that first night.
He'd gotten rid of a bunch of his old furniture when he moved in with Jeff— most of it was second-hand, shitty college stuff anyway. When he moved out, he needed new stuff, but didn't care enough to actually shop for it, so he gave Clare and Sophia carte blanche to decorate his room for him. They painted the walls dark green and got sleek, dark wood furniture to match. A king-sized bed, pistachio-colored sheets and a dark brown comforter.
"Okay, seriously." Jared laughs. "I did not say anything to make you blush that hard."
"What? I'm not blushing," Jensen says weakly. He can feel his ears grow hot, though, as Jared continues to look at him gleefully.
"Right. So, you're supposed to match your room?" Jared's eyes flick down over Jensen's body and then back around the room.
"It's a sex room," Misha says from behind them, making them both jump.
"What?" Jared sounds both amused and incredulous.
"I'm gonna get a fucking bell for you, I swear."
"Jensen let Clare and Sophia decorate." Misha nods at the bed. "Everything in here was designed to make Jensen look as delectable as he can. Because he clearly needs the help."
"A sex room?" Jared looks at Jensen, eyebrows raised.
"I didn't know that's what they were going to do," Jensen says defensively. "I just wasn't in a shopping sort of mood at the time."
"A sex room." Jared looks back at the bed. Just sort of stares at it for awhile. "Huh."
Jensen looks at him and grins. "You want a sex room now, don't you?"
Jared turns to him, his eyes wide like he's horrified by the suggestion. He holds it for about three seconds before he cracks. Starts laughing and says, "I really do."
After the last of Jared's stuff is in the house, Jensen provides everyone with pizza and beer and it's sort of like a party. Except Misha and Jared are having an intense discussion about the merits of NPR and Clare and Sophia have been chatting and smiling in that way that Jensen always finds worrisome. Which leaves Jensen in Chad's company.
"So then this chick says to me—"
"I need another beer," Jensen says, cutting Chad off. He's pretty certain he doesn't want to hear the end to that story. "You want one?"
"Uh." Chad eyes his half-empty bottle and nods. "Yeah."
Jensen takes his time in the kitchen, consolidating the pizza slices into one box and throwing out the others, chucking the empty beer bottles in the recycling.
"He has no idea you hate him." Jared is leaning back against the counter, an amused smirk on his face. "He's sort of like a spastic, idiot puppy that way."
"Man." Jensen frowns at him. "You're going to guilt-trip me into being nice to him, aren't you?"
Jared laughs. "Dude, I hate to break it to you, but you're already nice to him. I'd like to see you try and be mean to someone."
"What? I'm mean. I can be mean to people." Jensen is offended by the implication. "Seriously, just because you haven't seen it yet."
"Yeah, no, I'm sure you're terrifying when you need to be. Like a fierce, angry kitten."
"Oh, fuck you." Jensen laughs. "What's with all the animal similes, anyway?" Jared's grin broadens at that. "What? Why are you smiling now?"
"You said simile instead of metaphor." Jared seems overly pleased by this. "That's just so hot." He ducks his head and looks up at Jensen through his eyelashes. "If you can diagram a sentence, I may have to throw Misha's rule out the window and ravish you right here. Oh, yes," he says before Jensen can comment. "Misha told me all about the 'no sex with roommates' rule, including its origin and complete history."
"So Chad is my punishment?"
Jared tilts his head. "Not so much punishment as justice, I think."
"Misha's just testing you. Show no fear and he'll eventually leave you alone." Jensen goes over to the fridge, grabs a couple of beers and hands one over to Jared. "As for the sentence diagramming." He waggles his eyebrows. "Can't take all of the mystery out of the relationship this early in the game."
"Goddamn, where's my beer?" Chad shouts from the living room.
"When are they going home?"
"Never," Jared says ominously.
Jensen wakes up around ten, the sun shining brightly through his window. His head is only a little fuzzy with the amount of beer he'd consumed the previous night before they'd managed to kick everyone out. He rolls out of bed, rubs his eyes and then fumbles for his glasses. When he stands, there's a twinge in his back and he's stiff and sore all over from the moving. It makes him feel old.
He pulls on a pair of pants and a t-shirt and heads downstairs for coffee and Advil. Jared is already up, sitting on the couch eating cereal and watching The Breakfast Club.
"This on TV?" Jensen asks. They'd called to have the cable hooked up last week so that it'd be all set by the time Jared moved in.
Jared shakes his head. "DVD. It's not the same with everything edited out. There's coffee."
Reminded of his objective, Jensen grunts and heads into the kitchen for a cup. He grabs the bottle of Advil and heads back out into the living room to sit down. Balancing the coffee on his knee, he dumps a couple of pills into his hand and tosses them in his mouth.
"Did you just take that with coffee?" Jared asks as Jensen swallows the pills down. "That's vile, dude."
Jensen shrugs.
"Okay." Jared pauses the movie and turns to Jensen. "So last night I had this dream where I was back in high school and I was late for a test, but then I was trapped in an underground labyrinth, like, under the school. And I kept trying to get to my class, but I couldn't find my way out and the bell kept ringing and then there were some alpacas there and I was looking for something to feed them but all I had in my pockets were poker chips." He scratches his nose. "I think my grandma was the principal, too. It was weird."
"Uh." Jensen blinks at Jared, looks down at his full cup of coffee and then back at Jared. "Okay."
"I hate dreams where I'm back in high school." Jared flops back on the couch and un-pauses the movie.
"Yeah. Me too." Jensen tries to fight the urge to smile, but when he looks over at Jared again the corner of his mouth is twitching, which makes Jensen laugh. "I don't remember what I dreamed about."
"You should write them down," Jared suggests and damn if Jensen doesn't make a mental note to dig out a notebook so that he can do just that.
Jared gets up and takes his cereal bowl into the kitchen. When he comes back, he nods at Jensen's acoustic guitar sitting in its stand in the corner. "Can you actually play that?"
"A little. I had a roommate in college who taught me some stuff."
"Play me something."
Jensen quirks his brow and then grins, the song idea hitting him almost immediately. "Yeah, alright." He sets his coffee on the floor and gets up to grab the guitar, not bothering with the strap as he sits back down and settles it on his lap. "This is one of the first things I learned."
Generally speaking, Jensen doesn't really enjoy playing in front of other people. Guitar was something he always wanted to learn because it seemed like fun, not because he had a burning desire to perform. It makes him feel a little self-conscious— he's not great and it bothers him for people to see him doing something he doesn't excel at.
Somehow, though, Jared sitting right next to him watching him intently doesn't ping his self-consciousness. It only makes him bite his bottom lip in an attempt to hide his smile as he plays the opening chords. His smile breaks free when he starts singing, "Well I'm a long tall Texan, I wear a ten-gallon hat". Jared starts laughing and Jensen barely makes it through the entire first verse before he joins in.
He sits back and scratches his neck. "I don't exactly have Lyle Lovett's voice."
"You arrogant sonofabitch." Jared rubs his hand over his mouth, the corners turned up in obvious amusement. "Exactly how many hands do you think God ought to give with?"
"Not sure I follow."
"Man, have you seen Lyle Lovett? And you sit there, prettiest fucker I've ever met on top of being funny and smarter than everyone else and you say, 'Oh, I don't sound like Lyle Lovett'." Jared shakes his head. "I should punch you right in the Goddamn mouth for that."
Jensen laughs, unaccountably flattered at Jared telling him he's pretty and smart and funny like that makes him the world's biggest asshole. It's not like either one of them is unaware that they're attracted to each other, but having Jared so easily acknowledge and dismiss it in one breath makes Jensen feel warm and happy all over. "Jealousy is not a good look on you, man."
"Jealousy?" Jared shakes his head. "No, no. I speak as someone who also got a multiple hand job from God."
The look on Jared's face makes it clear that he didn't think that statement entirely through before it came out of his mouth. Jensen laughs so hard that his inability to breathe becomes a legitimate concern.
"Whatever." Jared stands and swings his arms in front of him like he's working the kinks out of his shoulders and tilts his head from side to side. "Allow me to demonstrate. I have no musical talents, but I am well-versed in the seductive art of dance. A little music, please?"
"Sure. Uh." Jensen starts strumming, basic and rhythmic and manages to play for almost a minute after Jared starts dancing before he gives in to another fit of laughter.
Jared's dancing makes him look like a drunken, deranged marionette, his arms swooping from side-to-side as he swivels his hips and puckers his lips in an absurd fish-face. When Jensen breaks off playing, Jared jumps, claps his hands and says, "Jump, shake your booty! Jump, jump, shake your booty!" He jumps around in a circle, waggling his ass and completing a full rotation before stopping as Jensen laughs himself sick on the couch.
"Now," Jared says as Jensen is busy wiping away his tears. "I'm sure you're feeling a little overwhelmed by your desire for me, but I'm going to have to ask you to try and contain yourself. For the sake of roommate harmony."
"I'll try my best."
Jensen is still guffawing as he puts his guitar back on his stand. He can't remember the last time he laughed quite so hard. When he sits back down, Jared is reclining back, tucked into the corner of the couch with a large, pleased grin on his face. Jensen knows he looks just as stupidly happy.
Jensen manages to put Kristen off for a week after Jared moves in, thinks he'll make it to the weekend until Jared shows up at his office Friday afternoon at quitting time when Kristen is there.
"Come on," Kristen is saying. "I want to meet him!"
"You've met him," Jensen points out. "You were never this eager to hang out with Sophia."
Kristen blows her bangs out of her face and glares at him. "Sophia and I were competing for top hag billing. Jared is entirely different. Jared is—"
"Here." Jensen sighs in defeat at Kristen's delighted look.
"Jared!" She bounces up to him as he walks in the door and smiles winningly. "What are you doing tonight? We're going out! You should come with us!"
It isn't worth it for Jensen to point out to Kristen that he hadn't actually agreed to go out with her tonight. Her mind is made up and she can be annoyingly persistent when she wants to be. He just shrugs as Jared glances at him.
"Uh, sure." Jared hitches his backpack up further on his shoulder and smiles. "Sounds like fun."
"Awesome!" Kristen bounces and backs toward the door, snapping and pointing at Jensen. "Eight o'clock? Usual place?"
Jensen flips her off and she laughs and skips out of the office, obnoxious and adorable at the same time. Jensen has to grin.
"Am I being screened?" Jared asks as Jensen packs up his stuff.
"I guess." Jensen shuts down his computer and shoulders his own bag. "Might as well get it over with."
"Doesn't sound ominous at all."
"More for me than you. Kristen is the holder of all my unsavory secrets."
Jared laughs. "Like your clown fetish?" He claps a hand on Jensen's shoulder. "Don't worry. I don't judge. Out loud."
"You're a true friend," Jensen says sardonically and Jared laughs again. Maybe the evening won't be as bad as all that.
Jensen and Kristen's usual bar is near campus. Kristen likes it because they have decent mixed drinks; Jensen likes it because of the hot bartender who is usually working. Jared looks dubious about the place until he sees the selection of beers they have on tap.
They settle at a table in the corner and Jensen sits back as Kristen attempts to overwhelm Jared with her bouncy friendliness, except that it's Jared, and his puppyish enthusiasm is more than Kristen's match. Jensen sort of feels like he's in the middle of a pep-off. He's pretty content to sit and listen, getting quietly buzzed until he looks up and sees that his hot bartender is here after all.
"Oh, no. Jensen, c'mon," Kristen says, drawing him back into the conversation.
"C'mon what?"
"I thought you weren't on the prowl tonight."
"I'm not on the prowl. Jesus," Jensen says, but his eyes flick back to the bar as he speaks. He wets his lips with the tip of his tongue when he catches the bartender's eye. When he looks back at Kristen, she has one eyebrow raised in a way that makes Jensen think she practices that expression in front of the mirror.
"I feel like I'm missing something here." Jared is looking between Kristen and Jensen, his expression openly curious.
Kristen huffs and turns to him. "Jensen's been eyefucking the bartender here for like six months now."
"But I always end up making sure you get home safe and sound over closing the deal," Jensen points out testily. He feels a little embarrassed about his bartender thing being pointed out in front of Jared. Not that Jared doesn't know he hooks up or anything, but it still feels weird.
"Yeah, well, considering you're supposed to be hanging out with me to begin with…" Kristen lets the sentence hang and it has its desired effect. Jensen feels properly guilty.
"Okay, fine. I'm sorry." He glances back at the bar, eyes catching on the bartender again. The guy is ridiculously hot. Curly, sandy blond hair, a sort of Little Women era Christian Bale look about him. He has a full sleeve tattoo on his left arm and a tongue piercing. Jensen can't help himself. "But would you guys deny me that? Really?" He slouches down in his seat and looks away when the bartender looks up at him and grins.
"Point," Kristen says and Jared snorts in response.
"Right, so." Jensen flashes them a grin and pushes away from the table. "Anyone want another drink?"
"If I thought you might actually come back to the table, I would say yes." Kristen scowls at him, but she still looks amused.
"You're the best hag ever. Totally better than Sophia." Jensen kisses the side of her head and reaches out to pat Jared's shoulder. "You good getting her home?"
Jared looks surprised by the question, but he nods as Kristen says, "Gee, thanks, Dad. I am actually a fully-functioning adult. I expect a report," she adds as he walks away.
Jensen looks back and winks before heading over and elbowing his way to a space at the bar.
Jared is awake when Jensen gets home, just back from a run by the looks of it. He raises an eyebrow in question as Jensen flops down on the couch and groans.
"Good time?" he asks, sitting down next to him.
Jensen pinches the bridge of his nose and tries to decide what he desires most at the moment—coffee, sleep, more whiskey, or a time machine to go back to last night and have a do-over. "What the fuck is wrong with guys?"
"That's not a loaded question or anything." Jared leans back and fixes him with a considering look. "It was that bad?"
"When the best thing you can say about sex is that it's better than jacking off, someone is doing something wrong. When you can't even say that?" If ever there was a night to perfectly illustrate the hazards of drinking too much, last night would be it. Jensen should have bowed out when the guy started talking about his awesome band.
Jared winces. "Ouch."
"Dude was a talker, too. 'Yeah, baby. Take it! You like that?'" he mimics, scowling. "Which would be fine if he was getting it done in the meantime. As it was, he did not have the moves to back up his mouth." When Jensen looks at Jared again, Jared seems taken aback. "What?"
"Nothing. Just, uh." Jared huffs out a laugh. "Really detailed account of your sex life. There's a picture in my head." He waves his hand.
"Oh. Sorry. I'm used to bitching at Sophia." Jensen wipes a hand over his face, feeling the embarrassed heat in his cheeks. "Besides, I thought your friend already filled you in on the details of my sex life."
"Not quite that detailed. It was more, 'Holy shit, Jared. This guy is like the god of sex,'" Jared says in a breathy, flustered voice before cracking a grin. "And something about how you kept trying to get him to dress up like a clown."
"Yeah, well." Jensen chuckles. "I'm not going to argue the first part and the second part is none of your fucking business. I'm a fantastic lay." He sighs. "If only I could find someone to appreciate it."
Jared pats his knee as he stands up. "Come on, now. I'm sure Mr. Take It, Baby appreciated it."
"Okay, someone who can properly express his appreciation," Jensen calls after him as Jared disappears into the kitchen. "Hey, is there coffee?" He pushes off the couch and follows after Jared.
In the kitchen, Jared is already pouring milk in Jensen's coffee for him. "That's what you get for being shallow," he says as he hands the mug over.
"I'm sorry. What do you base your drunken hook-ups on?" Jensen leans back against the counter and takes a tentative sip. The coffee is a tad too hot yet, but he doesn't really care.
"I don't really. Hook up, that is." Jared glances at him and then turns to put the milk back in the fridge. "Not that I haven't ever, but, um. Yeah."
"Oh." Jensen watches Jared move around the kitchen out of the corner of his eyes, trying to gauge how Jared means that. He can't really find any judgment in Jared's tone, but he feels the prickle of it anyway. Three different comments pop into his head, but he bites them back because they are so obviously defensive.
Jared finally looks back at him and runs his hand through his hair. "It's not like—I'm not good at it. I just don't." He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "Okay, ignore me now."
Jensen smiles into his coffee and shrugs. "My bedroom doesn't have a revolving door or anything."
"I wouldn't care if it did." Jared sounds sincere enough and Jensen can feel him looking at him, but he keeps his gazed focused on a spot on the kitchen floor as he nods. Finally, Jared kicks Jensen's ankle with his bare foot. "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm kind of a spaz. I'm not good at picking guys up like that."
"Yeah." Jensen laughs without effort at that as he gives Jared a once-over. "I can see how you'd have problems."
"It's hard to be me," Jared agrees. He leans his hip against the counter next to Jensen and ducks his head, looking up through his bangs. "If you'd tried to pick me up before, I wouldn't have said no."
"Before?" Jensen asks, a little thrown by the uncharacteristically coy look on Jared's face.
"Before I knew about your clown fetish." Jared dances back out of reach as Jensen laughs and tries to kick him.
"I thought you were straight." Jensen says it with a smile, but he's dead serious. Had he known at all that Jared was gay, sex definitely would have happened. He feels a jolt of arousal before pushing the thought from his mind.
"Yeah, well." Jared licks his lips. "I guess things worked out like they were supposed to."
Jensen nods. "Guess so."
"Right! I'm going to take a shower now."
"Right." Jensen finishes his coffee with one gulp and watches Jared disappear into the bathroom. He tries not to think about Jared wet and naked under the spray of water as he pads up to his bedroom. It would be a lot easier if hot bartender Oliver had given him anything to work with. As it is, on top of being a bad lay, Jensen's pretty sure the guy ruined Christian Bale for him as well.
On Monday Jensen tells Kristen that they're going to have to find a new bar.
"I am completely shocked by this turn of events," she says dryly. "That bad?"
"Worse. I don't want to talk about it."
Kristen cocks her head at him and narrows her eyes. "Hey, Jensen. Here's a crazy idea. Did you ever consider dating Jared?"
"I don't care what anyone else says, your subtlety is one of your more endearing qualities." Jensen shifts through his inbox to see if there's anything that is important enough for him to actually be working right now.
"Seriously. I mean, he's hot, funny, smart, charming..."
Jensen sighs and looks up at her. "Oh, Tinkerbell. I appreciate the thought, I really do." He even means that. "But, no. I'm not dating Jared."
"Why—" She stops when Jensen holds up his hand.
"Look, the thing is, it's been a long time since I've had a friend like Jared. He's a Texas boy." Jensen smirks at himself, feeling a little dickish for even saying that. Before he met Jared, he considered that a drawback. "We get along and it's easy and he gets it."
"It?"
"Yeah," Jensen says, choosing to not elaborate. "So, he's a good friend and I don't feel like fucking that up by trying to date him."
Kristen frowns like she wants to protest but can't quite figure out how. "What makes you so sure that it'd fuck things up?"
"Empirical data?" Jensen shakes his head. "Even if I did want to, I'm not—Jared's the kind of guy you take home to your parents. I'm not."
"Jensen." Kristen's frown deepens. "You don't actually think that, do you?"
Before Jensen has to remind Kristen that, yeah, he really is the one-night-stand, dirty little secret guy and not anyone's Mr. Right, the phone rings. Jensen picks it up immediately, grateful for the interruption. Unfortunately, it's a wrong number.
"Look, I'm just saying I think Jared's good for you," Kristen says when Jensen hangs up.
"I agree." Jensen leans back in his chair and folds his hands over his stomach. "He's a good friend. And I need all of those I can get, what with you running off to further your education and Sophia playing house with Chad."
"Point taken. Consider the subject dropped."
"Gladly," Jensen says and Kristen sticks out her tongue at him.
It doesn't take long for Jensen to realize how absurdly tactile a person Jared is. He thinks nothing of coming up to Jensen on campus and giving him a full-body hug, wrapping around him like a Koala Bear clinging to a tree. It's a little much by Texas standards, completely freakish in Seattle and something Jensen quickly starts to take for granted.
Jensen didn't realize how self-contained he's become since leaving home. Kristen, Sophia and Clare don't mind his petting on them, but he's completely hands-off with all of his guy friends, even Misha. For as long as they've known each other, they rarely touch outside of the occasional clap on the shoulder.
Jared reminds him how much he misses casual physical affection, the kind that is completely removed from sex. His physicality relaxes Jensen in a weird way. As far as he can tell, it's pretty Jared-specific.
"You really have gone native, haven't you?" Jared asks, wrapping his arms around Jensen's waist, peering over his shoulder as Jensen adds avocado to their omelets. They've fallen into a weekend routine— whoever is up first on Sunday makes breakfast. It usually works out in Jensen's favor. Today is one of the off days. "So I had this dream." Jared doesn't move away, just sets his chin on Jensen's shoulder so that his voice is a low rumble in Jensen's ear. "I was a mermaid."
"Merman?"
"Nope. I was a chick. I had the seashell bra and shit."
Jensen laughs and he can feel Jared's grin in the way his chin presses down into Jensen's shoulder. "That right there," Jensen says, gesturing with the spatula he's holding. "That's why you're my best friend."
"Yeah?" Jared sounds terribly happy about that and it takes a minute for Jensen to realize why.
"Well, that and your ability to reach the top shelf." Jensen feels a little embarrassed. That Jared is his best friend is true enough, but Jared seems far more pleased than the admission warrants.
Jared laughs and plants a sloppy, wet kiss against Jensen's cheek. "I love you too. Even when you make me green eggs."
"Keep talking and you won't get any eggs." Jensen elbows Jared away and wipes his cheek against his arm in an attempt to dry it off. "Go sit down. It's too hot in here for your nonsense."
"So I'm this mermaid, right? And I'm supposed to be in class taking a test, but I haven't been to any of the lectures all quarter." Jared pulls out one of the chairs at the kitchen table and flops down. "It kind of blew."
"You have a lot of those dreams."
"Tell me about it. I'm so ready for summer."
They're coming to the end of the quarter soon and Jared has already got a full time summer job lined up at Starbucks. Jensen would mock him for that, but the gig is actually perfectly suited to his personality.
"And what will you dream about when you don't have any more finals?" Jensen asks, pulling the pan off the heat.
"Oh, I'll still dream about being a mermaid, but I'll be, like, frolicking with unicorns or something. Figuring out the mysteries of how mermaids have sex. You know, cool stuff."
Jensen smirks at Jared as he sets his omelet down in front of him and takes his own seat.
"What?" Jared asks.
"You're the super-coolest guy I know," Jensen says.
Jared snorts. "I've met your friends, Jen. Don't think I don't know that's true."
"You are going to be in so much trouble when I tell them that." Jensen grins at the face Jared makes and eats his eggs.
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